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21 Apr 2023, 01:01
Kudos
Bookmarks
Hi All,
I managed to write below for AWA in 30 mins. in my practice test. Can anyone give me feedback and let me know what all improvements are required?
Q: The topic was "The following appeared in a memorandum from the publisher to the staff of The Clarion, a large metropolitan newspaper:
“During the recent campaign for mayor, a clear majority of city readers who responded to our survey indicated a desire for more news about city government. To increase circulation, and thus our profits, we should therefore consistently devote a greater proportion of space in all editions of The Clarion to coverage of local news.”
Ans:
As per the above memorandum, the publisher from the newspaper company proposes to create additional space to include more articles that will cover city government related news in order to attract the readers. He makes this proposal based on the response received in recent survey conducted by them - As per the survey, many of the readers are interested to read more about city government news. However, the company should factor in some of the other important factors that the publisher failed to consider.
The company should consider the total population of the city who read their paper and what percent of this population has responded to their survey. This will provide them an actual number of interested people rather than just a percent of the people that completed the survey. This will eventually help them decide if considerable size of people are actually willing to read more about the requested topic.
Further, another point that should be taken into account is which section of the newspaper is company willing reduce for the above proposal. As the potential removed or reduced section will also impact on its readers, the company should evaluate this factor. The comparison between the number of readers reduced because of this reason and the readers increased because of adding the content relation to city government will give company a better idea and ratio to determine whether the above proposal should be accepted.
Also, the conclusion made by the publisher that this will lead to increased circulation and indirectly profits is incorrect. If the survey included readers who already purchase this newspaper regularly, it is unlikely that this will increase profits of the company as the readers would not purchase another copy of the same newspaper because it has content they preferred.
To increase circulation and profits, company would need to come up with better marketing during this period in order to reach more number of readers. They could use strategies such as advertising of their unbiased content during campaigns or publishing of trustworthy information during this time which may attract more readers and thus increasing the overall number of readers
Thanks!
I managed to write below for AWA in 30 mins. in my practice test. Can anyone give me feedback and let me know what all improvements are required?
Q: The topic was "The following appeared in a memorandum from the publisher to the staff of The Clarion, a large metropolitan newspaper:
“During the recent campaign for mayor, a clear majority of city readers who responded to our survey indicated a desire for more news about city government. To increase circulation, and thus our profits, we should therefore consistently devote a greater proportion of space in all editions of The Clarion to coverage of local news.”
Ans:
As per the above memorandum, the publisher from the newspaper company proposes to create additional space to include more articles that will cover city government related news in order to attract the readers. He makes this proposal based on the response received in recent survey conducted by them - As per the survey, many of the readers are interested to read more about city government news. However, the company should factor in some of the other important factors that the publisher failed to consider.
The company should consider the total population of the city who read their paper and what percent of this population has responded to their survey. This will provide them an actual number of interested people rather than just a percent of the people that completed the survey. This will eventually help them decide if considerable size of people are actually willing to read more about the requested topic.
Further, another point that should be taken into account is which section of the newspaper is company willing reduce for the above proposal. As the potential removed or reduced section will also impact on its readers, the company should evaluate this factor. The comparison between the number of readers reduced because of this reason and the readers increased because of adding the content relation to city government will give company a better idea and ratio to determine whether the above proposal should be accepted.
Also, the conclusion made by the publisher that this will lead to increased circulation and indirectly profits is incorrect. If the survey included readers who already purchase this newspaper regularly, it is unlikely that this will increase profits of the company as the readers would not purchase another copy of the same newspaper because it has content they preferred.
To increase circulation and profits, company would need to come up with better marketing during this period in order to reach more number of readers. They could use strategies such as advertising of their unbiased content during campaigns or publishing of trustworthy information during this time which may attract more readers and thus increasing the overall number of readers
Thanks!
22 Apr 2023, 00:41
Kudos
Bookmarks
AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/6
The essay is generally well-organized and the ideas are presented in a logical order. The writer uses transitional words and phrases effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs. However, there are a few instances where the connection between sentences is not clear, which slightly impacts the coherence.
Word structure: 6/6
The writer uses a varied vocabulary appropriately and effectively, demonstrating a good command of language.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5.5/6
The essay consists of three well-structured paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. However, the second paragraph is slightly longer than necessary and could be streamlined for greater impact.
Language and grammar: 5.5/6
The language and grammar used in the essay are generally strong. The writer effectively uses a mix of complex and simple sentence structures, and employs correct punctuation and spelling. However, there are a few minor errors in grammar and usage, such as the use of "size of people" instead of "number of people" and the use of "relation" instead of "related".
Vocabulary and word expression: 6/6
The writer uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary to express their ideas and arguments effectively. The language is precise and the writer avoids repetition of words or phrases.
Overall, the essay is well-written, coherent, and effectively communicates the writer's argument. The writer provides a good analysis of the reasoning and evidence presented in the memorandum and suggests additional factors that should be taken into account. The essay also provides a number of suggestions for how the newspaper company could increase circulation and profits.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/6
The essay is generally well-organized and the ideas are presented in a logical order. The writer uses transitional words and phrases effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs. However, there are a few instances where the connection between sentences is not clear, which slightly impacts the coherence.
Word structure: 6/6
The writer uses a varied vocabulary appropriately and effectively, demonstrating a good command of language.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5.5/6
The essay consists of three well-structured paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. However, the second paragraph is slightly longer than necessary and could be streamlined for greater impact.
Language and grammar: 5.5/6
The language and grammar used in the essay are generally strong. The writer effectively uses a mix of complex and simple sentence structures, and employs correct punctuation and spelling. However, there are a few minor errors in grammar and usage, such as the use of "size of people" instead of "number of people" and the use of "relation" instead of "related".
Vocabulary and word expression: 6/6
The writer uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary to express their ideas and arguments effectively. The language is precise and the writer avoids repetition of words or phrases.
Overall, the essay is well-written, coherent, and effectively communicates the writer's argument. The writer provides a good analysis of the reasoning and evidence presented in the memorandum and suggests additional factors that should be taken into account. The essay also provides a number of suggestions for how the newspaper company could increase circulation and profits.
SPP038
23 Apr 2023, 06:32
Kudos
Bookmarks
Thanks for the detailed feedback.
I have another one for review and also wanted to understand how much importance do B-schools give to AWA score?
Q:The following appeared in a corporate memorandum of a beverage manufacturer:
“Our promotional price reductions on energy drinks have been highly successful, as we have seen a dramatic increase in unit sales. Further, surveys of our consumers indicate that this promotion was favorably received by the majority of our customers. Therefore, to improve our company’s profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of consumers, similar price reductions should be offered on all drinks produced by our firm.”
Ans:
As per the above memorandum, the company plans to use the strategy of price reduction on all drinks produced by them as they observed a dramatic positive change in the demand for their energy drinks when the same strategy was used. However, the company fails to consider some of the other important factors that may have impacted the success on the energy drinks apart from the strategy they used.
For example, consumers may have shown sudden demand for energy drinks because of the increasing importance of healthy lifestyle or reduction of sugar content in people's daily diet. As the company does not mention any incline/ decline in the demand for other drinks; the above would not be the right conclusion.
To further study if their strategy was successful, the company should research on trends observed in overall energy drinks' demand during the same period. It should also check if there were any major statements by prominent personalities or news or promotional programs related to heath benefits that got substantial number of people's attention.
Another point to consider here would be to seasonal trend. In this case, consumers might have been consuming more of the energy drinks during that specific season every year and hence the strategy was not solely responsible for the increased demand.
The company, before standardizing the strategy across all productions, should consider additional important factor, i.e. their competitors. The company should take into account this factor as number of brands producing the energy drinks and number of brands producing regular drinks in the market could considerably vary, ultimately impacting consumers' choice when selecting the product.
With this further research, the company can better evaluate the situation and would be in the better position to decide whether above proposal should be considered or not.
Thank you.
[quote="Sajjad1994"]
I have another one for review and also wanted to understand how much importance do B-schools give to AWA score?
Q:The following appeared in a corporate memorandum of a beverage manufacturer:
“Our promotional price reductions on energy drinks have been highly successful, as we have seen a dramatic increase in unit sales. Further, surveys of our consumers indicate that this promotion was favorably received by the majority of our customers. Therefore, to improve our company’s profitability and enhance its perception in the eyes of consumers, similar price reductions should be offered on all drinks produced by our firm.”
Ans:
As per the above memorandum, the company plans to use the strategy of price reduction on all drinks produced by them as they observed a dramatic positive change in the demand for their energy drinks when the same strategy was used. However, the company fails to consider some of the other important factors that may have impacted the success on the energy drinks apart from the strategy they used.
For example, consumers may have shown sudden demand for energy drinks because of the increasing importance of healthy lifestyle or reduction of sugar content in people's daily diet. As the company does not mention any incline/ decline in the demand for other drinks; the above would not be the right conclusion.
To further study if their strategy was successful, the company should research on trends observed in overall energy drinks' demand during the same period. It should also check if there were any major statements by prominent personalities or news or promotional programs related to heath benefits that got substantial number of people's attention.
Another point to consider here would be to seasonal trend. In this case, consumers might have been consuming more of the energy drinks during that specific season every year and hence the strategy was not solely responsible for the increased demand.
The company, before standardizing the strategy across all productions, should consider additional important factor, i.e. their competitors. The company should take into account this factor as number of brands producing the energy drinks and number of brands producing regular drinks in the market could considerably vary, ultimately impacting consumers' choice when selecting the product.
With this further research, the company can better evaluate the situation and would be in the better position to decide whether above proposal should be considered or not.
Thank you.
[quote="Sajjad1994"]
AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/6
The essay is generally well-organized and the ideas are presented in a logical order. The writer uses transitional words and phrases effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs. However, there are a few instances where the connection between sentences is not clear, which slightly impacts the coherence.
Word structure: 6/6
The writer uses a varied vocabulary appropriately and effectively, demonstrating a good command of language.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5.5/6
The essay consists of three well-structured paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. However, the second paragraph is slightly longer than necessary and could be streamlined for greater impact.
Language and grammar: 5.5/6
The language and grammar used in the essay are generally strong. The writer effectively uses a mix of complex and simple sentence structures, and employs correct punctuation and spelling. However, there are a few minor errors in grammar and usage, such as the use of "size of people" instead of "number of people" and the use of "relation" instead of "related".
Vocabulary and word expression: 6/6
The writer uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary to express their ideas and arguments effectively. The language is precise and the writer avoids repetition of words or phrases.
Overall, the essay is well-written, coherent, and effectively communicates the writer's argument. The writer provides a good analysis of the reasoning and evidence presented in the memorandum and suggests additional factors that should be taken into account. The essay also provides a number of suggestions for how the newspaper company could increase circulation and profits.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/6
The essay is generally well-organized and the ideas are presented in a logical order. The writer uses transitional words and phrases effectively to connect ideas and paragraphs. However, there are a few instances where the connection between sentences is not clear, which slightly impacts the coherence.
Word structure: 6/6
The writer uses a varied vocabulary appropriately and effectively, demonstrating a good command of language.
Paragraph structure and formation: 5.5/6
The essay consists of three well-structured paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence. However, the second paragraph is slightly longer than necessary and could be streamlined for greater impact.
Language and grammar: 5.5/6
The language and grammar used in the essay are generally strong. The writer effectively uses a mix of complex and simple sentence structures, and employs correct punctuation and spelling. However, there are a few minor errors in grammar and usage, such as the use of "size of people" instead of "number of people" and the use of "relation" instead of "related".
Vocabulary and word expression: 6/6
The writer uses a wide range of appropriate vocabulary to express their ideas and arguments effectively. The language is precise and the writer avoids repetition of words or phrases.
Overall, the essay is well-written, coherent, and effectively communicates the writer's argument. The writer provides a good analysis of the reasoning and evidence presented in the memorandum and suggests additional factors that should be taken into account. The essay also provides a number of suggestions for how the newspaper company could increase circulation and profits.
