Which one is grammatically correct?

Question

The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible; including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.  


or


 
The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible, including some that never knew a macro could perform this function.  

I figure I'll ask the pros on here. Thanks.

dabots · Answer

i dont think the second clause connects correctly with the first one. the subject of first clause is feedback, i dont think you are saying the feedback included some that never knew etc. What I think you are trying to say is:

The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible, including surprise that a macro could perform this function.

i dont like that one either, i have to think about it more

forcefeed · Answer

This is a classic case of a misplaced modified (darn GMAT has scarred me for life :lol:

). I think your intention is to modify colleagues, so you should restructure the phrase have colleagues right before the modifying phrase. edit - the forum is pretty strict on censoring the other word for darn ;-)

.

kidderek · Answer

It's definitely not the first one b/c the two portions of a sentence with a semicolon must be able to stand by itself. 

As dabots said, the "including" portion is misplaced, so the second sentence is incorrect as well. But the first sentence is blatantly wrong.

R.E.D. · Answer

Something like:
The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible; some of them even never knew a macro could perform this function.

gmatclb · Answer

How about this....


 I received tremendous feedback from my colleagues including some that never knew a macro could perform this function. 

BTW, sorry to the mods (basically all the members) for posting this question here. I just need some quick help.

kidderek · Answer

gmatclb,

I'm sure you remember from the 07 applicants, the bschool application forum basically turns into a community where the members are so comfortable with each other that we post pretty much anything in this forum. 

As for the sentence, not to be too critical and not knowing the full context, it still seems a bit bulky and awkward. However, it is the best of all the options here thus far.

Sometimes the best way to convey the message is not to change the grammar/word placement, but the words themselves.

mbagal1 · Answer

Isn't this a good place to use "whom"? I would have said it like this: 

I received tremendous feedback from my colleagues, some of whom had not even  known  a macro could perform this function.

helg · Answer

I'd modify it as follows:
 I received tremendous (incredible, enthusiastic, whatever...) feedback from my colleagues. Some of them couldn't even imagine a macro performing that function.

rhyme · Answer

Without knowing the story, I actually had a different reaction. My inclination was to point out that "including some that never knew a macro could perform this function" probably doesn't add anything really important that wouldn't already be conveyed in: "The feedback I received from my colleagues was incredible". 

That said, if you keep both, I'd go with helg's two sentence structure.

Which one is grammatically correct?

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