OFFICIAL EXPLANATIONProject SC Butler: Sentence Correction (SC1)
For SC butler Questions Click Here THE PROMPTQuote:
A famed alchemist in the early sixteenth century, Paracelsus' contributions to modern science included the rudiments of what later became toxicology as well as the name of the element zinc.
• Meaning?
Paracelsus was a famous alchemist in the early 1500s whose contributions to modern science include (1) the basic elements of what is now toxicology, and (2) the name of the element zinc.("Alchemist"? If you do not know a word in
any verbal question, save perhaps in RC when you stare at some horrible technological jargon that is clearly not a vocabulary word, look up that word. An alchemist practiced alchemy. The word
alchemy is defined
here. I am never sure whether to think of alchemy as cool or crazy.)
THE OPTIONSQuote:
A) A famed alchemist in the early sixteenth century, Paracelsus' contributions to modern science included
• Modifier error
→ a person's contributions are not "a famed alchemist." (An alchemist is a
person.)
→ The first part of this sentence is called an appositive, which is explained efficiently on this site,
here.
That appositive,
a famed alchemist, must refer to Paracelsus himself, not to his contributions.
Eliminate A.
Quote:
B) Paracelsus's famous alchemical contribution to modern science in the early sixteenth century included
•
contribution should be plural
contributions→ The non-underlined portion of the sentence discusses more than one contribution.
Saying "contribution" is both illogical and inelegant.
• nonsensical: what, exactly, is "
modern science in the
early sixteenth century"?
• slightly confusing because it describes his contributions as both famous and alchemical.
We want to say that Paracelsus himself was a famous alchemist, not label his contributions as both "famous" and "alchemical."
Eliminate B.
Quote:
C) Paracelsus was a famed alchemist in the early sixteenth century including in his contributions to modern science
• Serious construction, diction, and style problem, but not quite ungrammatical
→ The phrasing in pink,
including in his contributions to modern science is logically unsound because it sounds as though Paracelsus consciously chose, before modern science arrived, which contributions to modern science he would make.
I really dislike this answer, but to be conservative, I will keep it and look for an answer better than this one.
KEEP, tentatively
Quote:
D) Paracelsus, a famed alchemist in the early sixteenth century [VERB?], and his contributions to modern science included
• the case of the missing verb
→ Strip the sentence.
Paracelsus . . ., his contributions to modern science included XYZ and ABC.
The subject of the first clause is Paracelsus. The sentence contains no verb for him. Fatal
(The subject of the second clause is
contributions, whose verb is
included.)
• Very close to a comma splice: this option tries to "stick" two wanna-be sentences together with nothing more than a comma.
→ To join two independent clauses that are logically related to each other, we have five choices (and the fifth is fairly rare):
1. COMMA + CONJUNCTION (often and, but, or)
2. SEMICOLON (by itself)
3. SEMICOLON + conjunctive adverb (such as
consequently or
however)
after the semicolon
4. A period.
5. A colon.
Notice that "a comma by itself without a conjunction" is NOT a possibility.
This option is not quite a comma splice because the first part is not a full clause, but its error is similar and similarly ungrammatical.
→ Run-on:
The dictator is barbaric his army slaughters children and fires at nuclear reactors. ← ← TWO complete sentences not separated at all.
→ Comma splice:
The dictator is barbaric, his army slaughters children and fires live rounds at nuclear reactors. ← ← TWO complete sentence, separated by only a comma. (Not allowed.)
→
Correct, semicolon joins:
The dictator is barbaric; his army slaughters children and fires live rounds at nuclear reactors. →
Correct, comma plus conjunction:
The dictator is barbaric, for his army slaughters children and fires live rounds at nuclear reactors.Option D is a hot mess.
Eliminate D.
Quote:
E) Paracelsus, the famous early sixteenth century alchemist, made contributions to modern science, including
• I do not see any errors
•
Paracelsus, the famous early sixteenth century alchemist = noun + appositive phrase, a structure that correctly identifies the man himself as the famous alchemist.
• we have a direct and active verb structure.
"Paracelsus … made contributions to modern science": the core of the sentence has a clear, concise, efficient structure.
• the modifier is simple and effective.
That is, "including," introduces the rest of the sentence in a simple, sleek, and elegant manner.
• FAQ: doesn't COMMA + INCLUDING modify the entire previous clause somehow?
→ No. Including is an exception to participle [verbING] rules.
→
TAKEAWAY: Including is not a "normal" present participle (verbING) word.
Including is typically considered a preposition (
look here at its definition) that modifies nouns; that must be followed by nouns; and that can be thought of as meaning "for example."
Option E is far superior to option C (the one I conservatively kept): option E contains clear structure and meaning, whereas option C makes it sound as though Paracelsus himself intended to include his contributions to modern science.
How can a person compel the future to include specific contributions?
Answer: he cannot. It may turn out that history and science collide in favor of the contributions of Paracelsus—but he cannot will that matter.
The best answer is E.COMMENTSI am glued to news—recording different channels, switching tabs between laptops, scribbling notes that are driven by my ever-present writer's instinct . . . as if words could make sense.
Still, we must try.
Enforced silence and inaction are the enemies of peace.
The atrocities defy description.
We can all help.
Click on the link in my signature.
My thoughts are with Ukrainians and their loved ones everywhere.