As public concern over drug abuse has increased, authorities have beco

Question

The following appeared in the editorial section of a newspaper:

"As public concern over drug abuse has increased, authorities have become more vigilant in their efforts to prevent illegal drugs from entering the country. Many drug traffickers have consequently switched from marijuana, which is bulky, or heroin, which has a market too small to justify the risk of severe punishment, to cocaine. Thus enforcement effots have ironically resulted in an observed increase in the illegal use of cocaine."

Thanks!

BeckyRobinsonTPR · Answer

this essay has all the main components necessary but lacks the complete analysis to get top scores. if your body paragraph introductions explained a little more than just saying your point, your score would be greatly improved. Also, avoid terms such as "will be discussed next" it is too informal for this type of essay. however, you have three good points and use good topic sentences. I would score this essay a 4 - 4.5

icanandwill · Answer

The argument claims that the enforcement efforts of the authorities to prevent illegal drugs from entering the country have resulted in an increase in the illegal use of cocaine. This conclusion is based on the premise that as the authorities have become more vigilant in their efforts to prevent illegal drugs from entering the country, many drug traffickers have switched from marijuana or heroin to cocaine. The argument is based on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that that the drug traffickers have switched from marijuana and heroin to cocaine because of an increased vigilance from the authorities. However, there is no evidence provided to support this assumption. In fact, the argument states that marijuana is bulky and heroin has a small market. Hence, it leads one to infer that due to these reasons, the drug traffickers have switched to cocaine. The argument fails to establish the correlation between an increased vigilance of authorities to the increase in the cocaine trafficking. Hence, this assumption is not valid.

Second, the argument does not provide any data regarding how successful the traffickers are in attempting to smuggle cocaine in the country. In order to access the success or failure of the authorities in diminishing the trafficking, it is necessary to analyze this information. For example, even if many traffickers have now switched to cocaine, there is no evidence that they are actually being successful in doing so. Therefore, without this crucial information, this assumption is not very sound.

Third, the argument does not present any statistics of cocaine usage before and after the increased vigilance from the authorities. The argument merely provides a weak reasoning that since many drug traffickers have switched to cocaine, there is an increase in the cocaine usage. However, there is no evidence cited to support this assumption. It is quite possible that even though there is an increase in the availability of cocaine, there is no increase in its usage. Hence, this assumption is not convincing.

In conclusion, without further evidence, the argument stands unsubstantiated and open to debate. The author must provide further evidence as stated above to make the argument more compelling.

donu · Answer

Please help me evaluate my essay based on the prompt:

The argument in the newspaper posits that enforcemnet efforts have resulted in an observed increase in the illegal use of cocaine because many drug traffickers have stopped trafficking marijuana, because of its bulky nature, and heroine, becuase it does not have a sufficiently large market, and have switched to cocaine. This argument is flawed and unconvincing because it relies on several assumptions for which no evidence is provided and fails to discuss other key factors necessary in evaluating its conclusion.

First, the argument claims that drug traffickers have switched to trafficking cocaine instead of marjiuana and heroine because marijuana is bulky and the market for heroine is not large enough to risk severe punishment for trafficking the drug. However, there could be several other reasons as to why traffickers have stopped trafficking these specific drugs. For example, because marijuana in recent years has become legal in many countries around the world, the price for the drug could have declined significantly because it is now readily and easily accessible to its users. An increase in supply of the drug, keeping demand constant, could cause a decline in the world-wide price of the substance making it less profitable for traffickers to move the drug causing them to switch to a drug such as cocaine whose trade is still profitable. The argument is flawed because it offers no evidence to show that the aforementioned reasons were the true justifications for switching from marijuana and heroine. The argument could support its reason for traffickers switching from heroine if it offered specific data to show that the market for heroine is small compared to cocaine and other trafficked substances.

In addition, the argument is flawed because suggests that the increased enforcement led to an increased illegal use of cocaine and does not provide cogent evidence to bolster the claim. Furthermore, the argument does not quantify the increase in the illegal use of cocaine and leaves one to wonder whether it was a 3% increase or 300% increase in the illegal use of the substance. The argument also seems to paint the heightened levels of drug enforcement in a negative light because of the rise in the use of cocaine but also clearly states that the enforecement has caused a decline in the trafficking, and most likely the use, of other drugs. If cocaine use rose by 3% but the use of all other drugs reduced by 60% then the rise in enforcement levels and vigilance may indeed have had a net positive impact on drug abuse in the country. The argument could be clearer in trying to show the irony of the increased enforcement levels by providing data that indicate that the use of cocaine as well as other hard drugs increased by a substantial amount.

In conclusion, the argument is weak because of the aformentioned reasons. It could have been significantly strengthened if it offered cogent evidence to bolster its claims as well as by discussing how other key factors even if considered would have not impact on its overall conclusion. However, because the argument does not do so, it is flawed and open to debate.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay is well-organized and maintains a clear focus throughout. The introduction and conclusion are strong, and each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects to the thesis. Transitions between paragraphs are smooth, and ideas are logically connected.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5.5/6
Each paragraph has a clear structure, beginning with a topic sentence that previews the main point of the paragraph. The writer provides sufficient evidence to support each claim and offers analysis to explain how the evidence supports the argument.

Vocabulary and word expression: 6/6
The essay uses a variety of sophisticated vocabulary and sentence structures that enhance the overall quality of the writing. The language is precise and appropriate for the task at hand.

Overall, this essay is well-written, with strong coherence and connectivity, sound paragraph structure, and excellent vocabulary and word expression. The writer effectively analyzes the argument and identifies its weaknesses, offering alternative explanations and counterexamples to weaken the conclusion. The essay could have been further improved by providing more specific examples and data to support its claims. However, it effectively addresses the task and provides a well-reasoned critique of the argument presented in the newspaper editorial. Therefore, the essay earns a score of 5.5/6.

Cheers

jim441 · Answer

Please evaluate  sajjad

The argument claims that the enforcement efforts by authorities to stop the illegal drugs from entering in the country have resulted in increased use of cocaine. the conclusion of the argument is based on the premise that drug traffickers have switched from marijuana or heroin to cocaine because of bulky nature of marijuana and small market of heroin. The conclusion of the argument relies on the assumption for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument mentions that the reasons drug traffickers have switched to cocaine are the bulky nature of marijuana and small market of heroin. The argument has not at all mentioned such other possible reasons as profit margins and high popularity of cocaine among the users. There has been no indication in the argument that negates these reasons as the probable causes of increased use of cocaine. Hence in such a case, the conclusion of the argument is not justifiable.

Second, the argument assumes that the drugs that are sold in the country can only be procured from some other country. It is very likely that the such drugs as mariujana or heroine can be manufactured inside the country. If drugs can successfully be manufactured inside the country then it is very likely the drugs are easily available for consumption in the country and there are some other factor that have resulted in the decreased usage of marijuana and increased usage of cocaine.

Finally, the argument states that the authorities have become more vigilant and thus their efforts have resulted in the prevention of illegal drugs from entering inside the country. However, the argument has not clearly expressed the effectivness of these efforts. It is quite possible that even after the strong implementation of these efforts the drug import in the country has still not decreased. In such a case the conclusion of the argument will fall apart.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and is thus unconvincing. based upon the given premises, it can't be concluded that the efforts of authorties to prevent drugs from enetring in the country has resulted in decreased use of marijuana or heroin and increased use of cocaine. Without any further knowledge and data the argument remains unsubstantiated and open for debate.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5.5/6
The essay presents a well-organized response to the argument presented in the editorial. The writer effectively develops their arguments, provides clear examples to support their claims, and concludes the essay in a logical and coherent manner. The essay demonstrates good connectivity between ideas, with smooth transitions between paragraphs.

Word structure: 5/6
The writer uses an appropriate range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey their ideas. However, there are a few instances where the phrasing could be improved for greater clarity.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/6
The writer presents their ideas in a well-structured format with clear paragraph breaks. However, some paragraphs could have been more focused on a single idea.

Language and Grammar: 5.5/6
The essay is well-written with few grammatical errors. The writer effectively uses language to convey their ideas and make their arguments clear.

Vocabulary and word expression: 5/6
The writer uses a good range of vocabulary to convey their ideas. However, there are some areas where the use of more precise or academic language could enhance the essay.

As public concern over drug abuse has increased, authorities have beco

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