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rohan1093
Joined: 13 May 2016
Last visit: 19 Dec 2022
Posts: 65
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Location: India
Schools: INSEAD Aug'23 intake (A)
01 Sep 2018, 09:14
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Hi everyone, just wondering if I could please get some feedback on my essay for the following prompt. Feel free to rate out of 6. Thanks in advance!
Prompt:
The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine:
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”
Response:
The article states that laboratory studies have shown that Saluda Natural Spring water contains several minerals necessary for good health. It further goes on to say that Residents of Saluda on average are less frequently hospitalized compared to the national average. Due to these factors, the article concludes that drinking Saluda Natural spring water is a good investment even though it is expensive. At a first glance, the argument may appear convincing, but a closer scrutiny reveals certain flaws. The argument makes too many assumptions and generalizations, in addition to casual faults, which are highlighted in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, the article doesn't mention the cause of hospitalization for the national average. It assumes that, in general people get hospitalized because they don't get the necessary minerals, which deteriorates their health and results in them getting hospitalized. This statement is a stretch. For example, it maybe possible that majority of people in the national average are hospitalized due to accidents or reasons other than mineral deficiency. Had the article published data on the cause of the hospitalization along with the frequency, it would be more convincing.
Secondly, the representative samples of populations ( those of Residents of Saluda and those of the nation) are assumed to be of similar volume. This comparison is flawed and weakens the article. Given that Saluda is a small town with a small population, the frequencies of hospitalization could be very low, owing to the small size. No data is given about the national population. Had the study given any information of comparitive populations, it would have provided better insight.
Additionally, the article claims that since the spring water has worked well for Residents of Saluda, it would also improve the health of people in the country. No information is provided about the demography ( climate, pollution, food consumption habits) of the overall country. People in a certain country, get accustomed to their natural environment, however the natural spring water might contain some minerals which might not be suitable to health of the overall population. The article also assumes that Spring water doesn't contain any side effects.
In conclusion, the article doesn't appear convincing as it fails to mention key factors cited above. In its present form it remains unsubstantiated and open to debate. In any case we need more valid data and accurate comparisons to reach a holistic conclusion.
Prompt:
The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine:
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”
Response:
The article states that laboratory studies have shown that Saluda Natural Spring water contains several minerals necessary for good health. It further goes on to say that Residents of Saluda on average are less frequently hospitalized compared to the national average. Due to these factors, the article concludes that drinking Saluda Natural spring water is a good investment even though it is expensive. At a first glance, the argument may appear convincing, but a closer scrutiny reveals certain flaws. The argument makes too many assumptions and generalizations, in addition to casual faults, which are highlighted in the following paragraphs.
Firstly, the article doesn't mention the cause of hospitalization for the national average. It assumes that, in general people get hospitalized because they don't get the necessary minerals, which deteriorates their health and results in them getting hospitalized. This statement is a stretch. For example, it maybe possible that majority of people in the national average are hospitalized due to accidents or reasons other than mineral deficiency. Had the article published data on the cause of the hospitalization along with the frequency, it would be more convincing.
Secondly, the representative samples of populations ( those of Residents of Saluda and those of the nation) are assumed to be of similar volume. This comparison is flawed and weakens the article. Given that Saluda is a small town with a small population, the frequencies of hospitalization could be very low, owing to the small size. No data is given about the national population. Had the study given any information of comparitive populations, it would have provided better insight.
Additionally, the article claims that since the spring water has worked well for Residents of Saluda, it would also improve the health of people in the country. No information is provided about the demography ( climate, pollution, food consumption habits) of the overall country. People in a certain country, get accustomed to their natural environment, however the natural spring water might contain some minerals which might not be suitable to health of the overall population. The article also assumes that Spring water doesn't contain any side effects.
In conclusion, the article doesn't appear convincing as it fails to mention key factors cited above. In its present form it remains unsubstantiated and open to debate. In any case we need more valid data and accurate comparisons to reach a holistic conclusion.
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