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19 Jul 2020, 08:38
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" To reverse the deterioration of postal service, the government should raise the price of postage stamps. This solution will no doubt prove effective, since the price increase will generate larger revenues and will also reduce the volume of mail, thereby eliminating the strain on the existing system and contributing to improved morale."
Can someone please review my essay?
At first glance, the aforementioned argument seems to be correct in asserting that an increase in the price of postage stamps would lead to only positive benefits such as larger revenues, reduce strain on the existing system, and contribute to improved morale. However, subsequent readings expose inherent flaws in the argument such as lack of quantifiable data and failure to justify assumptions.
Firstly, the author wrongly assumes that by increasing the price of the postage stamp, the revenues will increase. Increasing prices of public services is a very sensitive issue and may not work in the government's favour. This may be because the significant drop in the volume may not be compensated by the increase in the price per letter. Also, the author has not given the price details of the current service and the supposed increased strain on the consumer. The argument assumes that higher price will reduce volumes. However, the drop in volumes may not be significant if the proposed increase in the price of the postage stamp is not high enough to deter customers from using the service. The argument also doesn't provide more details about the possible alternatives to customers. If post is the only way to send messages, then customers will continue the services even if they have to pay a higher price.
Secondly, the author provides no reasons for the increasing strain on the current systems. The current strain on the systems may be because of inefficiencies in the current processes. Public services are known to employ workers even though they slack off on duty and this may be the cause behind the stress. Hence, in such a situation, increasing prices may prove counterproductive as the existing workers may slack off even more because of the reduced volumes.
Furthermore, the author doesn't take into account the inconvenience to the public because of the hike in prices. Public utilities are to be used by all strata of the society and hence must be available to those who cannot afford other available services. These users may form a significant proportion of the votes collected by the government and an increase in the price may force the voters to support the opposition parties. As a result, the hike may prove disastrous to the government and so the government would not take such a step.
The author could have given more quantifiable data to predict the financial gains of the proposed hike. Moreover, if the author had considered all the sides of the argument, he would not have resorted to making unsubstantiated claims. By considering and publishing the impact on all the stakeholders, the readers would be able to understand the overall picture and would have a more informed view of the author's claims.Furthermore, the author could've suggested such as use of technology and better manpower management to improve efficiency and build capacity in the future.
To conclude, had the author of the article provided data to prove the financial impact, the argument could have been much more reliable. Moreover, by following the suggestions mentioned in the aforementioned paragraph, the author could've made a much stronger case for increasing the prices of postage stamps.
Can someone please review my essay?
At first glance, the aforementioned argument seems to be correct in asserting that an increase in the price of postage stamps would lead to only positive benefits such as larger revenues, reduce strain on the existing system, and contribute to improved morale. However, subsequent readings expose inherent flaws in the argument such as lack of quantifiable data and failure to justify assumptions.
Firstly, the author wrongly assumes that by increasing the price of the postage stamp, the revenues will increase. Increasing prices of public services is a very sensitive issue and may not work in the government's favour. This may be because the significant drop in the volume may not be compensated by the increase in the price per letter. Also, the author has not given the price details of the current service and the supposed increased strain on the consumer. The argument assumes that higher price will reduce volumes. However, the drop in volumes may not be significant if the proposed increase in the price of the postage stamp is not high enough to deter customers from using the service. The argument also doesn't provide more details about the possible alternatives to customers. If post is the only way to send messages, then customers will continue the services even if they have to pay a higher price.
Secondly, the author provides no reasons for the increasing strain on the current systems. The current strain on the systems may be because of inefficiencies in the current processes. Public services are known to employ workers even though they slack off on duty and this may be the cause behind the stress. Hence, in such a situation, increasing prices may prove counterproductive as the existing workers may slack off even more because of the reduced volumes.
Furthermore, the author doesn't take into account the inconvenience to the public because of the hike in prices. Public utilities are to be used by all strata of the society and hence must be available to those who cannot afford other available services. These users may form a significant proportion of the votes collected by the government and an increase in the price may force the voters to support the opposition parties. As a result, the hike may prove disastrous to the government and so the government would not take such a step.
The author could have given more quantifiable data to predict the financial gains of the proposed hike. Moreover, if the author had considered all the sides of the argument, he would not have resorted to making unsubstantiated claims. By considering and publishing the impact on all the stakeholders, the readers would be able to understand the overall picture and would have a more informed view of the author's claims.Furthermore, the author could've suggested such as use of technology and better manpower management to improve efficiency and build capacity in the future.
To conclude, had the author of the article provided data to prove the financial impact, the argument could have been much more reliable. Moreover, by following the suggestions mentioned in the aforementioned paragraph, the author could've made a much stronger case for increasing the prices of postage stamps.
19 Jul 2020, 09:53
Kudos
Bookmarks
This is a very well written essay. I think you have hit a good word count number and used good language. I think the 3rd paragraph regarding the effect on government and votes is a tad out of scope. Since this is a 'Plan' type of argument, you could have brought in the aspect of long-term effects on increasing stamp prices such as preference for other types of communication. Nevertheless, good attempt.
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