TheSenator
Yesterday was mixed with lots of emotions and humbling realities... In the end, I keep telling myself it will all be worth it... and when it's done I'll look back and laugh at myself for the basket case of emotions I was.
Or will I?
At the risk of sounding soapboxy/cliche, your post recalled in me a story I read about MLK. It comes from a biography written by Harvard Sitkoff, and it centers on the Montgomery Bus boycott. King was essentially the new preacher in town and nominated by the community on the first day of the boycott to lead the Montgomery Improvement Association (MIA), which would continue the protest against the city's bus segregation -- a rather dangerous position. According to Rosa Parks, King was selected because he hadn't been there long enough to build up any enemies, but according to the other preachers, if things went south then King had the least to lose and could leave to another city.
Some recall King saying that if he had given it more thought it he would have declined the nomination. On the first day's night, King was nearly overtaken with fear because he had to address a packed church. He felt inadequate and unsure of what to say, despite a long-built reputation for oratory greatness.
To close in short, the rest is history. The lesson I took away was that even this exceptionally rare leader, a man of great skill and presence, was humbled in the moment of greatness by the disorienting emotion of fear. But it is that exact presence of fear that is a signal we are challenging ourselves to do something beyond our known capabilities. It is a signal that we are in the right place.
Whether anyone gets into a business school or not, the truth is that we are pushing ourselves to evolve and take the next step of leadership. Most of us are daring to be great, and we're giving up the security of our known lives. I have no doubt that the process is giving us all pause to consider our lives and dreams, and this long, arduous journey will pay off -- whether we get in to our dream schools or not.
Like you, I have an ebb and flow of emotions, but again for me, I find comfort knowing that I'm pushing myself in new ways.