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09 Aug 2015, 12:03
Kudos
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Any feedback is appreciated! Especially regarding my intro paragraph as I wasn't sure how detailed my 'thesis' should be/how much I should include before diving into the body paragraphs.
Prompt:
In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires
Answer
While the argument made by the essay is plausible, there are certain areas that require additional information. Namely, the argument assumes that ‘Heart’s Delight’ chose to exclude red meat and fatty cheeses initially because they considered them unhealthy. Another statement that must be questions can be seen when the argument assumes the House of Beef is successful because they sell meat instead of vegetarian food, while there could be other factors at play. Additionally, the argument makes an assumption that this small sample size is representative of people in general, which is not necessarily true. Reinforcing these premises with additional information would make the conclusion more plausible.
The magazine article assumes Heart’s delight was initially reluctant to sell red meat and fatty cheeses. However, it is entirely possible that, as a new business, they chose to start with simpler goods and recently transitioned into a wider range. Citing a statement directly from Heart’s Delight would greatly aid in solidifying the implied claim the argument makes about the reasoning for the recent addition of the goods.
The argument also relies on the assumption that House of Beef more successful than Good Earth Café because of the selection of food they offer. However, it is possible that other factors in the restaurant, such as service, are considered to be better. Therefore, to strengthen the claim, the argument could isolate the ‘food variable’ by ensuring the other factors are equal. This could be done through observing customer restaurant reviews and seeing whether the other areas are rated equally.
The article also states that people in general are less concerned about the intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. However, it uses a relatively minuscule sample size to justify their claim. To strengthen it, the article should either provide reasoning on why these restaurants could be representative of people in general, or cite a larger range of examples. Doing this would add more weight to their claim as, taking into account the large amount of restaurants in existence, examples could also be found to support a conclusion opposite to this one.
While the magazine’s claims are to an extent reasonable, certain claims require additional evidence to be completely valid. The article’s premises would have been strengthened through a larger sample size of restaurants. The article would have also benefited from controlling unrelated variables that could have affected their conclusions, and by discovering the underlying reasoning behind the choices made by ‘Heart’s Delight’. Although it is true that not every magazine would necessarily be held to such a high regard in its reasoning, some of the argument’s flaws could mean that the conclusion may be completely different if other examples are observed. Therefore, the magazine’s argument would improve by solidifying them.
Prompt:
In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires
Answer
While the argument made by the essay is plausible, there are certain areas that require additional information. Namely, the argument assumes that ‘Heart’s Delight’ chose to exclude red meat and fatty cheeses initially because they considered them unhealthy. Another statement that must be questions can be seen when the argument assumes the House of Beef is successful because they sell meat instead of vegetarian food, while there could be other factors at play. Additionally, the argument makes an assumption that this small sample size is representative of people in general, which is not necessarily true. Reinforcing these premises with additional information would make the conclusion more plausible.
The magazine article assumes Heart’s delight was initially reluctant to sell red meat and fatty cheeses. However, it is entirely possible that, as a new business, they chose to start with simpler goods and recently transitioned into a wider range. Citing a statement directly from Heart’s Delight would greatly aid in solidifying the implied claim the argument makes about the reasoning for the recent addition of the goods.
The argument also relies on the assumption that House of Beef more successful than Good Earth Café because of the selection of food they offer. However, it is possible that other factors in the restaurant, such as service, are considered to be better. Therefore, to strengthen the claim, the argument could isolate the ‘food variable’ by ensuring the other factors are equal. This could be done through observing customer restaurant reviews and seeing whether the other areas are rated equally.
The article also states that people in general are less concerned about the intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. However, it uses a relatively minuscule sample size to justify their claim. To strengthen it, the article should either provide reasoning on why these restaurants could be representative of people in general, or cite a larger range of examples. Doing this would add more weight to their claim as, taking into account the large amount of restaurants in existence, examples could also be found to support a conclusion opposite to this one.
While the magazine’s claims are to an extent reasonable, certain claims require additional evidence to be completely valid. The article’s premises would have been strengthened through a larger sample size of restaurants. The article would have also benefited from controlling unrelated variables that could have affected their conclusions, and by discovering the underlying reasoning behind the choices made by ‘Heart’s Delight’. Although it is true that not every magazine would necessarily be held to such a high regard in its reasoning, some of the argument’s flaws could mean that the conclusion may be completely different if other examples are observed. Therefore, the magazine’s argument would improve by solidifying them.
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