Note that I wrote this essay under the given time constraint.
Analysis of an Argument Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for more than 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers-some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track.
My Essay:
In the passage the author writes that a foreign company copying a certain bike which has originally been manufactured
by motorcycle X, motorcyle X is a model and not a company has failed to attract motorcycle X's customers. People say that the copied bike lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcyce X. The writer does not agree with the conventional belief that the lack of noise is the reason for the failure of the foreign company trying to copy motorcylce X's bike. This is based on the premise that foreign cars tend to be quiter than similar American-made cars, but sell at least as well.
Further, the author points out that the television advertisement for motorcycle X highlights its durability and sleek lines, rather than its
noisiness, noisiness is not an appropriate word, you cna use loud noise wherever you want bring forward this particular characteristic of the bike, indicating that motorcycle X is not selling its bike for the
noisiness. However, on deeper analysis it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the very general assumptons that
whole, entire group of foreign cars can be compared to a certain motorcycle. It is not logical to compare two different group of products because each of these
producs,products tend to attract different customers. The foreign cars might be selling well because they are fuel efficient. However when we compare bikes, it is possible that the customer does not focus on fuel efficiency anymore and shifts to another kind of
preference, try to give example of a generality, in this case for a new preference that can be less price etc. To render this argument more valid, the writer should compare two groups which are actually comparable.
Example given:, For example By, by comparing the
overall group of foreign bikes with the
overall group of domestic bikes one might conclude that
noisiness bikes sell better not depending on the domestic or foreign manufacturer, very incoherent way of writing this. I cant understand what you wnated to mention here..
Further, "Further," or "Furthermore," the
authors', author's argument regarding the advertisments of motorcycle X is wrongly based on the premise that the manufacturer of Motorcycle X will highlight the one and only
attributes, attribute which
are, is a reason to buy the motorcycle. However, the bike might sell because of other reasons or preferences of the customer. To overcome this flaw, the writer should start a survey asking the buyers of motorcycle X for the reason why they purchased the specific bike.
This is a very similar point to the one above and as might not be providing any new information.Finally, "Finally," the author
wrongly assumes, try not to repeat the sentence construction. You can mention "flaw or lack of coherence etc" that a broad
based customer group of foreign car buyers can be compared with a very specific customer group of a motorbike. Here we are dealing with two very
distinguish, distinct customers groups,
all of whomhaving different needs and preferences. Therefore it is impossible to compare these two groups in general. In order to strengthen this argument, the writer of the passage can build more specific groups of customers which then will be compared logically. It is recommended to use the group of possible bike purchasers as a whole and then to further analyse the specific preferences of the customers regarding the purchase of a bike.
Again, this seems like an extension of paragraph 1 and presents almost repeated information.After closer examination of the passage presented, it is apparent that there are several logical flaws. The recommendations in the essay show how the argument may be strengthened and made more logically sound.
Thanks