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reto
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10 Oct 2015, 05:24
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Note that I wrote this essay under the given time constraint. 
Analysis of an Argument
Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for more than 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers-some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track.
My Essay:
In the passage the author writes that a foreign company copying a certain bike which has originally been manufactured by motorcycle X has failed to attract motorcycle X's customers. People say that the copied bike lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcyce X. The writer does not agree with the conventional belief that the lack of noise is the reason for the failure of the foreign company trying to copy motorcylce X's bike. This is based on the premise that foreign cars tend to be quiter than similar American-made cars, but sell at least as well. Further the author points out that the television advertisement for motorcycle X highlights its durability and sleek lines, rather than its noisiness, indicating that motorcycle X is not selling its bike for the noisiness. However, on deeper analysis it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the very general assumptons that whole group of foreign cars can be compared to a certain motorcycle. It is not logical to compare two different group of products because each of these producs tend to attract different customers. The foreign cars might be selling well because they are fuel efficient. However when we compare bikes, it is possible that the customer does not focus on fuel efficiency anymore and shifts to another kind of preference. To render this argument more valid, the writer should compare two groups which are actually comparable. Example given: By comparing the overall group of foreign bikes with the overall group of domestic bikes one might conclude that noisiness bikes sell better not depending on the domestic or foreign manufacturer.
Further the authors' argument regarding the advertisments of motorcycle X is wrongly based on the premise that the manufacturer of Motorcycle X will highlight the one and only attributes which are a reason to buy the motorcycle. However, the bike might sell because of other reasons or preferences of the customer. To overcome this flaw, the writer should start a survey asking the buyers of motorcycle X for the reason why they purchased the specific bike.
Finally the author wrongly assumes that a broad based customer group of foreign car buyers can be compared with a very specific customer group of a motorbike. Here we are dealing with two very distinguish customers groups, all of whom having different needs and preferences. Therefore it is impossible to compare these two groups in general. In order to strengthen this argument, the writer of the passage can build more specific groups of customers which then will be compared logically. It is recommended to use the group of possible bike purchasers as a whole and then to further analyse the specific preferences of the customers regarding the purchase of a bike.
After closer examination of the passage presented, it is apparent that there are several logical flaws. The recommendations in the essay show how the argument may be strengthened and made more logically sound.
Thanks
Analysis of an Argument
Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for more than 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers-some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but they sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice-overs or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track.
My Essay:
In the passage the author writes that a foreign company copying a certain bike which has originally been manufactured by motorcycle X has failed to attract motorcycle X's customers. People say that the copied bike lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcyce X. The writer does not agree with the conventional belief that the lack of noise is the reason for the failure of the foreign company trying to copy motorcylce X's bike. This is based on the premise that foreign cars tend to be quiter than similar American-made cars, but sell at least as well. Further the author points out that the television advertisement for motorcycle X highlights its durability and sleek lines, rather than its noisiness, indicating that motorcycle X is not selling its bike for the noisiness. However, on deeper analysis it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the very general assumptons that whole group of foreign cars can be compared to a certain motorcycle. It is not logical to compare two different group of products because each of these producs tend to attract different customers. The foreign cars might be selling well because they are fuel efficient. However when we compare bikes, it is possible that the customer does not focus on fuel efficiency anymore and shifts to another kind of preference. To render this argument more valid, the writer should compare two groups which are actually comparable. Example given: By comparing the overall group of foreign bikes with the overall group of domestic bikes one might conclude that noisiness bikes sell better not depending on the domestic or foreign manufacturer.
Further the authors' argument regarding the advertisments of motorcycle X is wrongly based on the premise that the manufacturer of Motorcycle X will highlight the one and only attributes which are a reason to buy the motorcycle. However, the bike might sell because of other reasons or preferences of the customer. To overcome this flaw, the writer should start a survey asking the buyers of motorcycle X for the reason why they purchased the specific bike.
Finally the author wrongly assumes that a broad based customer group of foreign car buyers can be compared with a very specific customer group of a motorbike. Here we are dealing with two very distinguish customers groups, all of whom having different needs and preferences. Therefore it is impossible to compare these two groups in general. In order to strengthen this argument, the writer of the passage can build more specific groups of customers which then will be compared logically. It is recommended to use the group of possible bike purchasers as a whole and then to further analyse the specific preferences of the customers regarding the purchase of a bike.
After closer examination of the passage presented, it is apparent that there are several logical flaws. The recommendations in the essay show how the argument may be strengthened and made more logically sound.
Thanks
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10 Oct 2015, 07:12
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reto
I have marked my comments in red above. I would give it 4.5-5.0.
You are making grammatical and typo errors that will reduce your score. Additionally, your 'flaws' seem to repeat themselves.
The following points in my opinion can be used to attack the given prompt:
1. Lack of basis for similarity between the cars and the bikes
2. Lack of basis of similarity of customer preferences when a coustomer is looking for a car vs a bike.
3. Inferences from advertisements considered genuine? What if the music added to some sort of bias in favor of the noise of the bike?
4. No support for the fact that even thought the company has slashed the prices, are the prices still within the reach of the same group of customers?
5. Even if the new company has been able to copy it, there is no information about the extent of copying. What if the company did not copy the most important feature etc
Do make sure to write GMAT Write software from mba.com. It is a paid app that has 4 prompts to practice and they are evaluated using the same algorithm that is used for actual GMAT AWA prompts.
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