https://gmatclub.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/2015-06-16_19-29-30-150x150.png By Adam Hoff, Amerasia Consulting Group This is a post I write basically every year because it comes from what I'm seeing each round, every day, on basically every application. That drum beat is really rigid, hard-to-read Why School X sections on essays. I give the same note to every single client so now I'm giving it to everybody: the simplest and most important thing you can do to improve your Why School X portion of career goals essay is to personalize any and all content. This is a great way to avoid writing something off-putting, as well as a quick and easy method for making your essays warmer, more personal, and easier to connect with. So, what do I mean by "personalizing" this part of the app? Simple: make anything you write about the school specific to you, your experience, your desires, or what you require from a program. Never just state absolutes, generalities, or even known truths and facts - always make them personally-held viewpoints. Examples are the best way to understand this (after the jump): Example #1 GOOD - "I am seeking an intense MBA experience, which is why INSEAD is my top choice." BAD - "INSEAD is one of the most intense MBA programs in the world." WHY - The first sentence is a statement about what you want (an intense experience), which is used as justification for pursuing the school. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong in your assessment, so long as you believe it and can then base a decision on that belief. Whereas in the second sentence, you are simply stating a fact. There are multiple problems with this: A) you might be wrong, B) even if you are right it might sound lecturing (which can irritate a reader who is far more of an expert on the subject than you are), or C) even if you are right and the reader is not mildly irritated, you still miss a chance to express something about you. Anything in any essay that doesn't tell the reader more about you, your world, and what you want is wasted space. Example #2 Good - "One thing that drew me to Duke right away was the small class size, which has always been the ideal setting for me to grow and learn." BAD - "Small class sizes are the best way to learn, which is why I love Duke." WHY - This one has a wrinkle, which is that the "bad" sentence sort of seems to personalize the statement with the "why I love Duke" part. The problem is that the revelation is still not based on a personal belief, but rather a statement of fact. Indeed, this statement of fact is even more egregious than the INSEAD statement above because it's offering up as concrete fact something that is highly debatable. Maybe large classes are the best way to learn. Maybe it's online. Maybe it's one-on-one. Who are you to say? Who am I to say? None of us are experts in the sphere of ideal learning models, so this just sounds completely arrogant. Whereas in the "good" example, we see that it's simply a personal preference that is the basis for further interest in Duke. I could go on and on and write 10 examples, but two is probably enough. The main thing is to read every single sentence you write about a program and make sure that it's always personal - told from your perspective, your opinion, your beliefs, and your desires. If it dissolves into "brochure writing" - just statements of fact, no matter how benign or flattering to the school - there is zero upside and plenty of downside. It's a small thing, but we see it crop up in probably 90% of the essays we read, so it's obviously a fairly widespread problem. And while it may not be the entire difference between being admitted or denied, it can definitely be the difference between getting a good or a bad read of your file. And in our experience, *that* is often the difference between being admitted or denied. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you are interested in making sure your essays are personalized (as well as everything else they need to be), hit us up at mba@amerasiaconsulting.com .

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Three things to do to break out of your profession and thrive!

Networks…we all know about them, are part of them and create them. In my previous article, I wrote about how I ended up as what I now term a Career Adventurist – exploring different roles, industries and sometimes doing two or... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: The Struggle Is Real!

Partying on a Friday night is always a good idea. You have fun, decompress, some good music and drinks. Meeting new people is always exciting. Then you wake up the next day with a headache and you swear to... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Is INSEAD Worth the Investment?

Is INSEAD worth the investment? Would you do it if you’re earning close to 300k/year in your thirties? Because you are asking this question, perhaps, you want to change something about this 300k salary job. If you do… the question... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Changing lives, one house at a time

Choosing what to do on your summer internship is tricky. Should you look for something that helps you build skills that might be useful for your next job? Something that would look good in your CV? Perhaps you can take... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: How a mindfulness practitioner got re-minded to be mindful!

I read a lot online during my daily commutes and yes the occasional listicle is valuable. Heck, I even write them myself! But I increasingly find myself rolling my eyes – one of my superpowers if you ask my husband... Continue Reading →

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01 Oct 2018, 02:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Diversity and Inclusion

Diversity and inclusion has been a topic particularly close to my heart – from my undergraduate in Social Anthropology (yes they allow people to do this degree!) through to working in the Middle East with an organization providing a mentoring... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Chicago fever

Dear All, I am in love, once again. This time, it’s Chicago. By now you might wonder whether I fall in love with every city I move to, and indeed, there is a pattern. It’s a family thing. However, in... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Social Impact Internship: Kumwe Harvest

I joined INSEAD after spending a few years in corporate roles in consulting and insurance. For the two-month summer break I knew that I wanted to try something different. When I saw the posting about a position at Kumwe Harvest... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: The cost of ambition

THIS PHRASE CAME UP FOR ME SEVERAL TIMES THIS WEEK AND IT STUNG. IT STUNG HARD. What do I, as a coach/Career Adventurist, stand for when it comes to prioritising my multiple commitments — marriage, kids, family, friendships, work, money,... Continue Reading →

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08 Oct 2018, 23:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Is INSEAD Better Than Harvard Business School?

It is a great question to ask, as you can get insider views on the pros and cons of both schools. Before I selected INSEAD MBA as a school of my choice, of course, just like you, I was asking... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: PeoplePods: Social Impact Internship

After working for five years in the corporate world, I came to INSEAD to explore my options. I wanted to do something different during my summer break. I saw my summer as a window to explore something new. A new... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Microfinance in Mexico

Following 8 years in the financial services industry, I came to INSEAD to discover ways in which I could leverage my past experience to make a substantial difference in the lives of ordinary people. When searching for a summer project,... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Bringing your Whole Self to INSEAD

In celebration of National Coming Out Day, I decided to share my journey to INSEAD, some highlights of my experience so far, and how it’s been shaped by being out on campus. To be out or not to be... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: My summer supporting women in tech at accelerateHER

During this past summer I had the pleasure of interning with accelerateHER in London. The organisation spun out of Founders Forum a couple of years ago, in response to an increasing desire of the tech community to improve gender equality... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Social Impact Internship: Electrifying Rural Kenya

One of INSEAD’s application essays asks you to write about your short and long term career aspirations with your MBA from INSEAD. I wrote about building a renewable energy company to bring power to the unelectrified areas of Africa. I... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Study-Life Balance at INSEAD Does Exist!!

It would not be too difficult to imagine what kind of year you will have at INSEAD when you only have one year to study, network, find a job, and enjoy student life. Your INSEAD year will be dynamic, fun,... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: What Do You Google?

I love free books. Last week I borrowed Everybody Lies –by the way INSEAD Library and Europe CE Library both worth a visit! This book is a best seller written by economist Stephens Davidowitz on ”Big Data, New Data, and... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Creative partnerships for new impact models

Unlike most of my INSEAD class-mates, I had lived and worked in a single country prior to stepping foot on the snowy Fontainebleau campus in January 2018. That country is South Africa, a vibrant nation with a scarred history. South... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: What are my chances of getting in Columbia Business School and INSEAD?

Having applied to IMD, INSEAD and COLUMBIA Business School, I got accepted at the last two schools. My choice was INSEAD. The question you might want to ask is what YOU need to do to get in the world’s best... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Impact Investing

Having worked in the financial market for more than 10 years, I decided to come to INSEAD not only expecting to broaden my knowledge and skills, but also looking for the next step I should take in my career. Somehow,... Continue Reading →