https://gmatclub.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/2015-06-16_19-29-30-150x150.png By Adam Hoff, Amerasia Consulting Group This is a post I write basically every year because it comes from what I'm seeing each round, every day, on basically every application. That drum beat is really rigid, hard-to-read Why School X sections on essays. I give the same note to every single client so now I'm giving it to everybody: the simplest and most important thing you can do to improve your Why School X portion of career goals essay is to personalize any and all content. This is a great way to avoid writing something off-putting, as well as a quick and easy method for making your essays warmer, more personal, and easier to connect with. So, what do I mean by "personalizing" this part of the app? Simple: make anything you write about the school specific to you, your experience, your desires, or what you require from a program. Never just state absolutes, generalities, or even known truths and facts - always make them personally-held viewpoints. Examples are the best way to understand this (after the jump): Example #1 GOOD - "I am seeking an intense MBA experience, which is why INSEAD is my top choice." BAD - "INSEAD is one of the most intense MBA programs in the world." WHY - The first sentence is a statement about what you want (an intense experience), which is used as justification for pursuing the school. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong in your assessment, so long as you believe it and can then base a decision on that belief. Whereas in the second sentence, you are simply stating a fact. There are multiple problems with this: A) you might be wrong, B) even if you are right it might sound lecturing (which can irritate a reader who is far more of an expert on the subject than you are), or C) even if you are right and the reader is not mildly irritated, you still miss a chance to express something about you. Anything in any essay that doesn't tell the reader more about you, your world, and what you want is wasted space. Example #2 Good - "One thing that drew me to Duke right away was the small class size, which has always been the ideal setting for me to grow and learn." BAD - "Small class sizes are the best way to learn, which is why I love Duke." WHY - This one has a wrinkle, which is that the "bad" sentence sort of seems to personalize the statement with the "why I love Duke" part. The problem is that the revelation is still not based on a personal belief, but rather a statement of fact. Indeed, this statement of fact is even more egregious than the INSEAD statement above because it's offering up as concrete fact something that is highly debatable. Maybe large classes are the best way to learn. Maybe it's online. Maybe it's one-on-one. Who are you to say? Who am I to say? None of us are experts in the sphere of ideal learning models, so this just sounds completely arrogant. Whereas in the "good" example, we see that it's simply a personal preference that is the basis for further interest in Duke. I could go on and on and write 10 examples, but two is probably enough. The main thing is to read every single sentence you write about a program and make sure that it's always personal - told from your perspective, your opinion, your beliefs, and your desires. If it dissolves into "brochure writing" - just statements of fact, no matter how benign or flattering to the school - there is zero upside and plenty of downside. It's a small thing, but we see it crop up in probably 90% of the essays we read, so it's obviously a fairly widespread problem. And while it may not be the entire difference between being admitted or denied, it can definitely be the difference between getting a good or a bad read of your file. And in our experience, *that* is often the difference between being admitted or denied. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you are interested in making sure your essays are personalized (as well as everything else they need to be), hit us up at mba@amerasiaconsulting.com .

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Feeling the void? Join the club!

Are you a hard worker? Have you reached that point in your career where you believe that everything should be falling into place, yet something is just missing? Join the club! My name is Esmat and I was in your... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Bracing for change: 3 Tips on how to prepare for your next phase

A while ago, I got to talking with an long-time friend who really is one of those awe-inspiring women. A high flying executive, and mom of two who ferries her kids between classes and admittedly “could write an assessment book”... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Saying “I’m Sorry”

I am sure a number of you have read the New York Times article about women in tech and their experiences of sexual harassment in the industry. The article named a number of men in tech and gave specific... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Pregnancy, Parenthood and Relationships during INSEAD

It’s been almost a year since you last heard from me. You can bet that a lot has changed: the cohort I started with, ’18J, has graduated; I’m the mother of an 8-month old boy, I’m doing an internship in... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Why I Chose INSEAD

Having recently landed in Singapore, my INSEAD journey feels ever more real than ever. What started as an intriguing career move 5 years ago, developed over time into a full-fledged obsession to integrate the school and represent what it stood... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: What made me choose INSEAD?

School starts soon and I am getting more and more excited by the minute! Rewinding to 12 months back, I remember being in an introspective phase of trying to figure out what I want my MBA experience to look like... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: And 10 years later, not too young anymore

Flashback, 13 June 2008, Singapore I timidly entered the INSEAD Singapore campus at the Ayer Rajah Avenue and attended a class discussion by Prof. Horacio Falcao, as a part of the MBA In-House Event. It was my first experience of... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Bonjour France !

Bonjour France ! “Time flies when you’re having fun”, people always said that to me, and there’s a truth to their words. It’s been almost 2 months since I arrived in France earlier than most of the 19Js, to, as... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: A Foundation In More Ways Than One

From the decision of doing an MBA, to sitting for the GMAT, and staring longingly at your mobile phone to see if I would get the admissions call, it has been quite a journey to get here. With the official... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Making My Way to INSEAD

Hey there! I feel it will be a good idea to briefly introduce myself before I start my blog. My name is Sona, an Indian living in a small country on the coasts of Persian Gulf, Qatar for past 4... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Preparing for the MBA with my partner

I still remember receiving my acceptance phone call from INSEAD (Class of 19J). It felt like a large dose of dopamine being released in my brain. I murmured “thank you” a lot while stumbling over a chair trying to get... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: How I switched careers multiple times without ever applying for a job…

So this is how it started. It was year 2000, and I’d been working as a lawyer all of two years. And I disliked it, to put it mildly. I was stressed out, doing the work of two people (I... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Starting INSEAD the intensive way…

Coming from jobs that got us to INSEAD, M&A investment banking for me, I wanted to spend time travelling, meeting family and friends, or just relaxing before all the excitement started. But the exit language is a strict graduation requirement!... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Designing a Career in Fashion Tech

Hi everyone! Melissa Lim here, one of the ’19J bloggers at INSEAD’s Fontainebleau campus. NB for new readers (aka my friends and family): “’19J” is INSEAD-speak for “please let me graduate in July 2019

” I was born in San Francisco,... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Zurich, My Love

Dear All, Several weeks ago, I promised an entry about Zurich. Finally, here it is. Zurich was home for me; thus, this entry is also about home. Over the last weeks, I was spending only a little time in Zurich,... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Behind the enemy lines

When I told people a that I’d soon be attending an MBA program in Singapore and France, their first question would be “Why?”. Leaving my software engineer career in San Francisco, the hottest job in the hottest sector, seemed very... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: A Thrilling Start

Why Does a Doctor Need an MBA? For the past ten years, I have been working as a physician, and I feel this duration is long enough to remain in my comfort zone. The past year has been really interesting... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: First Impressions @ INSEAD

Hey everyone, it’s been a few weeks since my last post and since then activities started at INSEAD and I started to meet some of my fellow classmates. INSEAD is a bowl of different nationalities and everyone say this all... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: To Do Or Not To Do: The Intensive Language Program – That Is The Question

I believe a lot of people wonder about this. In fact, I owe a 19D a thorough review of the intensive language program. To give you some background, I am a 19J who chose to do French in Fontainebleau during... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Relatable Biases and the MBA Decision

‘Why would you want to leave the stability of your well-paying job, the proximity to your family and the comfort of the city where you’ve lived for the past few years to do an MBA in France?’ – the classic,... Continue Reading →