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Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition

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touchmba
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Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink] New post   Updated on: 19 Feb 2015, 12:25
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Happy Valentines Day!

I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey but know the storyline: intimidated college senior (Anastasia Steele) meets successful magnate (Christian Grey), and they have a wild romance.

To many candidates, applying to elite MBA programs can be as mysterious as Christian Grey, as unsettling a tryst.

Yeah yeah yeah, maybe the analogy falls short. But here are 50 reasons desired MBA programs will put you in the grey zone. The grey zone, in this case, would be the “maybe” or “no” piles.

Admissions Directors could never say these (there are always exceptions to the rules!), so I’ll do it for them (I used to be one). They can thank me later.

Remember no candidate – or application – is perfect. The goal here is minimize admissions alarm bells.

Avoid these grey zone signals to score with your target MBA.

    1. GMAT score below average
    2. Crappy grades in undergrad
    3. Poor grades in quantitative business courses
    4. Not meeting minimum TOEFL or IELTS score
    5. Graduating from an unknown university
    6. Poor English
    7. Mentioning the wrong business school in your application
    8. Vague career goals
    9. Wildly unrealistic career goals
    10. Career goals that have nothing to do with your past experience
    11. Little or no progression in job responsibility
    12. Zero international experience
    13. CV longer than 1 page
    14. CV looks like it’s going to take a long time to read (i.e. no white space)
    15. Indian Male Engineers
    16. No work experience
    17. Little, if any, extracurricular impact during school or work
    18. Being late to an interview
    19. Dressing unprofessionally to an interview
    20. Not having spoken to any students at target school
    21. Taking more than 4 minutes to answer an interview question
    22. Asking ridiculously obvious questions at end of interview
    23. Treating any admissions officer (no matter what rank) rudely
    24. Badgering the admissions office for an answer
    25. Thinking you’re IN because you have a 760+ GMAT
    26. Reciting the school brochure in your essays
    27. Giving canned interview answers
    28. Essays that exceed the word limit
    29. Your essay writing and AWA writing don’t match up
    30. You want to be a management consultant with a GMAT in the 600s
    31. The adcom asks you to retake the GMAT… and you don’t
    32. No concrete business results in your resume
    33. You’ve worked 4 jobs in 4 years
    34. You have unexplained gaps in your resume
    35. Your application is nearly identical to someone else in your demographic
    36. Short recommendations
    37. Lukewarm recommendations
    38. No recommendations from current or past supervisors
    39. You treat the school (and application) like a backup option
    40. You expectantly ask about scholarship funding before getting in
    41. You ask the admissions office to connect you to alumni without a reason
    42. You say “school x is the perfect fit for me” in your application or interview
    43. You treat career services like a job placement service
    44. You only have one post-MBA job in mind
    45. There is no evidence of self-reflection in your application
    46. You don’t answer the essay question asked
    47. Your essays are all lecture, no scenes
    48. Your essay sounds like a cut and paste from another essay
    49. You use your optional essay to cut and paste another essay
    50. You can’t name 3 industries or 3 companies that interest you

Got questions? Objections? Hate the book? :) Let’s hear them

Darren, Touch MBA

update 2/14/2015 - I just found out Matt Symonds of Fortuna Consulting wrote a similarly titled post on Forbes, check it out - 50 Shades of Admissions Grey. Evidence of poor ethics is definitely something I should have included on my list...

Originally posted by touchmba on 14 Feb 2015, 12:27.
Last edited by touchmba on 19 Feb 2015, 12:25, edited 1 time in total.
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ShoeBunny
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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink] New post   14 Feb 2015, 19:14
50 Shades was a terrible book series. It was not very well written, and after a while it became predictable and boring. The end of the series was also really lame. Hopefully Bschool won't fall short of all the hyped up expectations. I would have gone to see the movie, but I hear it's only got an R rating. I might as well watch real porn.

Anyway, all your points are good ones. #15 made me chuckle because it's probably the only one that really isn't in an applicant's control.
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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink] New post   19 Feb 2015, 12:25
ShoeBunny wrote:
50 Shades was a terrible book series. It was not very well written, and after a while it became predictable and boring. The end of the series was also really lame. Hopefully Bschool won't fall short of all the hyped up expectations. I would have gone to see the movie, but I hear it's only got an R rating. I might as well watch real porn.

Anyway, all your points are good ones. #15 made me chuckle because it's probably the only one that really isn't in an applicant's control.


Ha ha, another reason not to read it!
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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink] New post   26 Feb 2015, 05:59
Haha, as a member of #15, I laughed pretty hard about that one.
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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink] New post   26 Feb 2015, 20:00
balki1867 wrote:
Haha, as a member of #15, I laughed pretty hard about that one.


Definitely the most crowded applicant pool. So much talent too!
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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink] New post   29 Apr 2015, 00:57
Great points :)

51. You don't use Papers Gear writing advice
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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink] New post   29 Apr 2015, 07:37
Papers Gear?
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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink] New post   17 Oct 2019, 11:09
Hello from the GMAT Club MBAbot!

Thanks to another GMAT Club member, I have just discovered this valuable topic, yet it had no discussion for over a year. I am now bumping it up - doing my job. I think you may find it valuable (esp those replies with Kudos).

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Re: Fifty Shades of Grey: MBA Edition [#permalink]
17 Oct 2019, 11:09

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