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# GMAT AWA #1 Please rate In 2-3 lines. It would be of great help.

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Intern
Joined: 14 Jun 2018
Posts: 47
Location: India
GMAT AWA #1 Please rate In 2-3 lines. It would be of great help.  [#permalink]

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20 Sep 2018, 23:50
Hello Everyone,

Question :

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:

“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become

more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day

service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And

since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to

minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and

the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions

underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can

also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would

make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

The above argument states that an organization will improve its efficiency periodically. There is a direct correlation between the processing of color film and the processing of frozen foods. The color film is a non-consumable item whereas frozen foods are consumed over a long period of time. The annual report can be questioned in two major ways.

Firstly, the argument does not provide any past or present data about the processing of frozen foods. Also, there are no factors mentioned which are to be directly correlated with the processing of color films. For example, the cost of the freezing equipment, transportation of the frozen foods from processing plant to distribution centres, etc. It can also be seen that the principle discussed; an organization will do things better over the period of time fails. This may be highlighted by focusing on the point that the cost of coping up with frozen foods might have increased over the period of time with the advent of new technology in the industry. Secondly, just because Olympic foods will celebrate its 25th Birthday does not indicate that they will certainly minimize costs and maximize profits. It may occur that due to the fixed costs of processing of frozen foods they might have to focus more on the marketing and sales part. If that’s not taken under consideration there would not be high-profit margins.

It may be concluded that the annual report should be comprised of clear evidence data about the processing of frozen foods and the distribution of the products in the market for a precise analysis. Hence, the assumptions are not strong enough to be presented at the annual report of stockholders of Olympic foods.

Thank you!
Intern
Joined: 14 Jun 2018
Posts: 47
Location: India
Re: GMAT AWA #1 Please rate In 2-3 lines. It would be of great help.  [#permalink]

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21 Sep 2018, 03:40
Guys,

please rate my essay on a scale of 6 too. Thank you
examPAL Representative
Joined: 07 Dec 2017
Posts: 1056
Re: GMAT AWA #1 Please rate In 2-3 lines. It would be of great help.  [#permalink]

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23 Sep 2018, 09:09
1
Hey shrikumar,
while you have some good ideas of how to criticize the argument, the essay is not well organised.

- you have to start with an introduction which clearly states what the claim is, and lays out in a general way how you are going to criticise it. it is not clear from reading this what is the original argument and what is your claim:
- "There is a direct correlation between the processing of color film and the processing of frozen foods." - who is saying that? you? them?
- you mention information which is missing, but not why it is important: what would knowing past or present data on frozen foods give us?
- in general, follow a structure of: introduction, three paragraphs laying out three separate critiques, and a summary paragraph which summaries them and mentions how it could be improved.
_________________
Intern
Joined: 14 Jun 2018
Posts: 47
Location: India
Re: GMAT AWA #1 Please rate In 2-3 lines. It would be of great help.  [#permalink]

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27 Sep 2018, 06:58
DavidTutorexamPAL wrote:
Hey shrikumar,
while you have some good ideas of how to criticize the argument, the essay is not well organised.

- you have to start with an introduction which clearly states what the claim is, and lays out in a general way how you are going to criticise it. it is not clear from reading this what is the original argument and what is your claim:
- "There is a direct correlation between the processing of color film and the processing of frozen foods." - who is saying that? you? them?
- you mention information which is missing, but not why it is important: what would knowing past or present data on frozen foods give us?
- in general, follow a structure of: introduction, three paragraphs laying out three separate critiques, and a summary paragraph which summaries them and mentions how it could be improved.

DavidTutorexamPAL Thank you. I finally now know the basics. Appreciate your response!
Re: GMAT AWA #1 Please rate In 2-3 lines. It would be of great help.   [#permalink] 27 Sep 2018, 06:58
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