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tslaxz
Joined: 03 Aug 2015
Last visit: 16 Sep 2016
Posts: 7
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Schools: INSEAD Jan '17 (II)
10 Feb 2016, 09:58
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Hello,
I will take the GMAT tomorrow and that is my first try on AWA (did not have time to practice it before). It would be great if someone could try to evaluate my essay and even give me some advices.
Thanks in advance!
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a science magazine:
“The “Space Race” of the 1960’s between the USA and Russia was very expensive but it yielded a tremendous number of technological advances. These advances have provided many economic and humanitarian benefits. The benefits have more than paid for the effort and money spent during the Space Race and therefore the government should make allowances within the budget to pay for a manned Mars landing by 2020.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
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MY ESSAY (533 words):
The argument states that the Space Race, which happened 50 years ago, brought many technological advances and these improvements caused several economic and humanitarian benefits to our world. Also, it mentions that, assuming this past experience as a true, we could reproduce it easily in the future, by trying to land in Mars by 2020. Despite the author makes some logical connections among the facts he states, there are some strong and unproven assumption he takes for granted, making the argument unconvincing and too extreme.
First, the author assumes that the many economic and humanitarian benefits more than paid for all the effort and money spent during the Space Race. Clearly, there is lack of evidence in this assertion because, as there were so many different sources of expenses during the Space Race and humanitarian benefits are almost impossible to quantify, we can not compare these two things. The author could even say that the benefits that came from the Space Race were extremely important and it seems they compensated all the effort that the USA and Russia had, but he goes too far in his assertion. It is not clear whether the author really has a good knowledge of the situation, if so, he should mention that in order to make his point.
Second, The author assumes that an successful endeavor of the past implies that it will be successful again in the future. Surely, this is a leap of faith as we have no guarantee of that. The world changed a lot since the Space Race and it is much more difficult to develop new and relevant technological advances nowadays than it was 50 years ago. To illustrate, 50 years ago we did not even have the personal computer, which is almost considered an old technology currently.
Third, the author readily considers that the government is in an economic situation that permits devoting a lot of resources and effort to a project that can, maybe, bring some benefit in the future and we are not even aware of what kind of benefit it is. It shows a lack of sense of reality from the authors' point of view, as we know that even developed countries, such as USA, are not in their best days, financially-speaking, and can not engage in such a demanding project in this moment. Even if a country change the destination of its resources, for instance, from education or healthy to a new Space Race, it would probably makes more bad than good and could cancel the benefits that the Space Race could bring, even if we consider the best scenarios.
In conclusion, the argument makes extremes and unverified assumptions in order to convince the reader about the authors' opinion. To improve the argument, the writer should consider researching about the real facts of the Space Race so he could make a more accurate comparison between its costs and benefits, be more cautious while assuming that this past experience can be replicated in the future, and try to understand what takes for a country to start such an overwhelming project. Considering these points, the author can make several improvements in the text and be more well reasoned.
I will take the GMAT tomorrow and that is my first try on AWA (did not have time to practice it before). It would be great if someone could try to evaluate my essay and even give me some advices.
Thanks in advance!
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a science magazine:
“The “Space Race” of the 1960’s between the USA and Russia was very expensive but it yielded a tremendous number of technological advances. These advances have provided many economic and humanitarian benefits. The benefits have more than paid for the effort and money spent during the Space Race and therefore the government should make allowances within the budget to pay for a manned Mars landing by 2020.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
---
MY ESSAY (533 words):
The argument states that the Space Race, which happened 50 years ago, brought many technological advances and these improvements caused several economic and humanitarian benefits to our world. Also, it mentions that, assuming this past experience as a true, we could reproduce it easily in the future, by trying to land in Mars by 2020. Despite the author makes some logical connections among the facts he states, there are some strong and unproven assumption he takes for granted, making the argument unconvincing and too extreme.
First, the author assumes that the many economic and humanitarian benefits more than paid for all the effort and money spent during the Space Race. Clearly, there is lack of evidence in this assertion because, as there were so many different sources of expenses during the Space Race and humanitarian benefits are almost impossible to quantify, we can not compare these two things. The author could even say that the benefits that came from the Space Race were extremely important and it seems they compensated all the effort that the USA and Russia had, but he goes too far in his assertion. It is not clear whether the author really has a good knowledge of the situation, if so, he should mention that in order to make his point.
Second, The author assumes that an successful endeavor of the past implies that it will be successful again in the future. Surely, this is a leap of faith as we have no guarantee of that. The world changed a lot since the Space Race and it is much more difficult to develop new and relevant technological advances nowadays than it was 50 years ago. To illustrate, 50 years ago we did not even have the personal computer, which is almost considered an old technology currently.
Third, the author readily considers that the government is in an economic situation that permits devoting a lot of resources and effort to a project that can, maybe, bring some benefit in the future and we are not even aware of what kind of benefit it is. It shows a lack of sense of reality from the authors' point of view, as we know that even developed countries, such as USA, are not in their best days, financially-speaking, and can not engage in such a demanding project in this moment. Even if a country change the destination of its resources, for instance, from education or healthy to a new Space Race, it would probably makes more bad than good and could cancel the benefits that the Space Race could bring, even if we consider the best scenarios.
In conclusion, the argument makes extremes and unverified assumptions in order to convince the reader about the authors' opinion. To improve the argument, the writer should consider researching about the real facts of the Space Race so he could make a more accurate comparison between its costs and benefits, be more cautious while assuming that this past experience can be replicated in the future, and try to understand what takes for a country to start such an overwhelming project. Considering these points, the author can make several improvements in the text and be more well reasoned.
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