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21 Jan 2016, 08:42
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Illogical Meaning Drill
2. Jonathan Swift wrote a newly discovered letter in the same year that he published Gulliver’s Travels.
please explain the error in this sentence clearly and also the correct form of this sentence.
3. So persistent were John’s inquires at Harvard Business School that he was eventually admitted, even with a GMAT score well below the average at HBS.
This was explained to be correct while I believe
2. Jonathan Swift wrote a newly discovered letter in the same year that he published Gulliver’s Travels.
please explain the error in this sentence clearly and also the correct form of this sentence.
3. So persistent were John’s inquires at Harvard Business School that he was eventually admitted, even with a GMAT score well below the average at HBS.
This was explained to be correct while I believe
- this has pronoun error as he cannot refer to possessive form of John.
the comma was not required according to me as it does introduces modifier error.
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21 Jan 2016, 11:01
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Nevernevergiveup
Dear Nevernevergiveup,
I like the perseverance implied in your screenname and I am happy to respond.
Sentence #2 I would call awkward but not out-and-out wrong. Obviously when Swift wrote the letter it wasn't "newly discovered." They are trying to combine the facts that
(a) Swift wrote the letter
(b) apparently the letter was lost, and it has been recently discovered
The time element, "in the year ...", applies naturally and logically to the subject. I don't believe any confusion is implied by the time of the "discovering."
Another issue is the modification "... in the same year that he published ..." To my ear, this is colloquial and a bit illogical. It should be " ... in the same year in which he published ..."
The sentence is not ideal, a bit awkward, but it could pass even as a GMAT OA, because sometimes a SC OA is a little awkward, just clearly better than the other answer. Here is, I believe, the best version of the sentence,
In the same year in which he published Gulliver’s Travels, Jonathan Swift wrote a letter that has been newly discovered.
This version separates the time attribution, putting it at the beginning so that it clearly applies to the main verb. It also clearly articulates facts (a) & (b) above as distinct.
As for #3, I agree it's not ideal. I agree that the pronoun mistake would not fly on the GMAT SC. Also, there's something awkward about the "with" preposition at the end.
. . . even with a GMAT score well below the average . . .
. . . even though he had a GMAT score well below the average . . .
Something sounds smoother and more natural about encapsulating that information in a clause, rather than trying to cram it into a prepositional phrase.
I also don't like the sentence because it suggests the very dangerous and misleading idea that being persistent in contacting adcom will improve one's chances of admission. FALSE! If you demand a great deal of attention from adcom, over and above that demanded by the typical applicant, this only serves to annoy people who are already busy and under stress, and those people will not look on such behavior favorably.
Does all this make sense?
Mike
09 Apr 2017, 05:45
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So persistent were John’s inquires at Harvard Business School that he was eventually admitted, even with a GMAT score well below the average at HBS
Inquire/enquire is a verb. How can it be used as a noun? Please help
Inquire/enquire is a verb. How can it be used as a noun? Please help
