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AWA Score: 5-5.5 out of 6!
I have used an AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
Follow the AWA subforum rules before your next post in the forum, read the rules in the post in the link below
https://gmatclub.com/forum/awa-forum-ru ... 64141.htmlGood Lucksreeb11 wrote:
Following is a timed response to the given prompt. Would be very grateful to receive responses on the same!
Prompt:
Many lives might be saved if inoculations against cow flu were routinely administered to all people in areas where the disease is detected. However, since there is a small possibility that a person will die as a result of the inoculations, we cannot permit inoculations against cow flu to be routinely administered.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
Response:
The given argument recommends that inoculations against cow flu should not be routinely administered as there exists a "small possibility" of it resulting in the death of a person. However, the argument and its conclusion lacks certain factual evidences, without which it is impossible to concretely agree or disagree with the recommendation made.
It is stated at the very beginning that many lives might be saved if inoculations against the cow flu are allowed to be routinely administered. There are several missing pieces of information here. The percentage of fatality caused by cow flu is unknown from the text. If the disease had a low mortality rate, it could help strengthen the argument presented as inoculating people may take more lives than it saves. It is also unclear that what number is meant by "many lives". If this number is high, indicating that the inoculation is highly effective against the disease, given that the disease is contagious, it could greatly weaken the argument presented.
Further, the phrase "routinely administered to all people" in the first line is ambiguous. It does not clearly state whether any age groups should be excluded in such routine administration of the inoculations. If it is the case that certain age groups are more vulnerable to fatalities from inoculations and they are excluded from being inoculated, the evidence would clearly weaken the argument presented. Further, it is not clarified whether routine administration of vaccines involves multiple doses, and what exact relationship it has with causing fatalities in people receiving the inoculations.
The next part of the argument states the small possibility of the inoculation leading to a fatality. It is not specifically states that what is meant by a "small possibility". If the percentage of fatalities caused by the vaccine is infinitesimal, it might be a better choice to allow inoculations to prevent the spread of cow flu. It is also not known from the text that which group of people are more vulnerable to fatalities from the inoculations. Further, it is not stated whether inoculations are the only way of controlling cow flu, or if there exist other preventive measures or curing medicines. If inoculations are indeed the only way to keep the disease under check, they maybe absolutely necessary, despite their ill-effects, and this evidence would also weaken the argument.
Finally, it is impossible to support or discard the argument without a picture of comparison between the effectiveness and the ill-effects of the inoculations. If the percentage of lives saved is higher than that of fatalities from the vaccines, it would be more prudent to oppose the argument, and vice versa.