Please evaluate my awa

Parents, if you need a summer camp for your children look no further than Federville Farms. In a recent survey, Federville Farms ranked first in both overall camper satisfaction and in food quality, and second in the variety of outdoor activities. Federville Farms has been family owned and operated for over forty years, so you have nothing to worry about when it comes to your child's safety, and it employs more Red Cross certified lifeguards than any other camp in the state. If you seek the best camp experience for your children, Federville Farms is the best choice you can make.


AWA: The author suggests that parents should send their children to Federville Farms for numbers reasons such as it is first in overall camper satisfaction, in food quality and second in variety of outdoor activities. However, the author has failed to present dat, making this argument unconvincing.

Firstly, the author assumes that a camp is safe for children without considering numerous factors affecting a child's safety. The author argues that the camp is safe because it is family owed and has operated for over 40 years. The author also asserts that the camp employee more lifeguards than any other camp. This presented statistic has not been backed by data, making it questionable. Also, a child's safety during a camp is not only ensured by the number of lifeguards but also by the quality of safety procedures and medical staff present on the site. However, there is no information presented about this. The author could strengthen her argument by elaborating why the camp is safer than others by presenting additional data such as the number of medical professionals on the campsite, safety procedures followed and number of accidents occurred in the recent years.

Secondly, the author makes an assumption that the recent survey which rates Federville farms highly is correct and collected data from all other summer camps in the region. The survey data presented may be prone to a sampling bias if the sample were too small or may have collected data from a few campers at each camp making it skewed in nature. Therefore, the author must present more information about the survey to strengthen her claim that Federville farms rank highly. The author could also include a list of fun outdoor activities to back the results of the survey.

Lastly, the author assumes that the only factor that determine a good camping experience for the child are safety, variety of outdoor activities and quality of food. The author has missed out on several important factors such as new skills that may be learned during camp, the distance of the camp from the nearest city, the capacity of the summer camp, cost of the camp and also the quality of camp counsellors. These facts may influence a parent's decision to send their child to a particular camp and the child's camping experience. Therefore, the author must thoroughly investigate these other factors to arrive at whether Federville Farms is intact the best choice or not.

The author assumes that Federville Farms provides the best camping experience because of it's safety, list of outdoor activities and quality of food offered. The author fails to make the argument convincing by considering limited aspects of safety, not explaining adequately about the data set from which these figures are arrived at and lastly not considering other factors affecting one's camping experience. Therefore, the author must present more data after thorough investigation to make this argument more comprehensive.