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Learn what truly sets the UC Riverside MBA apart and how it helps in your professional growth
30 May 2015, 11:31
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Hello everyone,
kindly evaluate my essay. Any feedback is highly appreciated.
The following appeared as part of a campaign to sell advertising time on a local radio station to local businesses:
“The Cumquat Café began advertising on our local radio station this year and was delighted to see its business increase by 10 percent over last year’s totals. Their success shows you how you can use radio advertising to make your business more profitable.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
In this passage, the author states, that the increased turnover of the Cumquat Cafe was the consequence of advertising on the local radio station in the passed year. Although there might be some ground in this claim, the author could have put more evidence, that all other factors, like advertising campaign in the previous year or other advertising methods and competitors’ strategies in this year didn’t influence the positive financial outcome.
First of all, it would be more convincing, if the author has clearly stressed out, that besides radio advertising, there were no other attempts to expand its business in this year. If, for example, the cafe has used several promotional activities in parallel, like flyers on the streets, advertising in the local newspaper, reasonable business-lunches for nearby office community or setting up a playground, attracting new audience with children, then it is wrong to connect the result with radio advertising only. The author should give more information about the year’s advertising compaign to convince the readers, that it was the radio, that was the most effective measure.
Second, the author states, that this year’s sales grew up in comparison to the sales in the previous year due to radio advertising. In order to evaluate this argument, it is necessary to know, what promotion strategy did the Cumquat Cafe has before. If it comes out, that there was no advertising at all, then the presented result proves more the effectiveness of the advertisements in general, rather than the radio advertising in particular.
Third, the presented evidence would be convincing, if there were no other changes in business of the cafe over two year, as well as there were no changes in the neighborhood. It means, that if other cafes on this street closed, or the Cumquat Cafe presented the new menu, appreciated by more clients, or it simply raised prices, or managed to get cheaper rent - then it becomes obvious, that the improved year’s figures have nothing to do with radio advertising. If this is the case, these two facts, that there were radio advertising and that the sales went up, show correlation, but not a reason-consequence connection.
To summarize the abovementioned, hense normally advertising helps to improve business results and advertising on radio is not worse than any other sort of advertising, in this particular case the author should present more proofs, that it was radio ads, that caused the mentioned effect, and not the other factors. Also, some more information about this year business and last year strategy would also be helpful in order to convince the readers.
kindly evaluate my essay. Any feedback is highly appreciated.
The following appeared as part of a campaign to sell advertising time on a local radio station to local businesses:
“The Cumquat Café began advertising on our local radio station this year and was delighted to see its business increase by 10 percent over last year’s totals. Their success shows you how you can use radio advertising to make your business more profitable.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
In this passage, the author states, that the increased turnover of the Cumquat Cafe was the consequence of advertising on the local radio station in the passed year. Although there might be some ground in this claim, the author could have put more evidence, that all other factors, like advertising campaign in the previous year or other advertising methods and competitors’ strategies in this year didn’t influence the positive financial outcome.
First of all, it would be more convincing, if the author has clearly stressed out, that besides radio advertising, there were no other attempts to expand its business in this year. If, for example, the cafe has used several promotional activities in parallel, like flyers on the streets, advertising in the local newspaper, reasonable business-lunches for nearby office community or setting up a playground, attracting new audience with children, then it is wrong to connect the result with radio advertising only. The author should give more information about the year’s advertising compaign to convince the readers, that it was the radio, that was the most effective measure.
Second, the author states, that this year’s sales grew up in comparison to the sales in the previous year due to radio advertising. In order to evaluate this argument, it is necessary to know, what promotion strategy did the Cumquat Cafe has before. If it comes out, that there was no advertising at all, then the presented result proves more the effectiveness of the advertisements in general, rather than the radio advertising in particular.
Third, the presented evidence would be convincing, if there were no other changes in business of the cafe over two year, as well as there were no changes in the neighborhood. It means, that if other cafes on this street closed, or the Cumquat Cafe presented the new menu, appreciated by more clients, or it simply raised prices, or managed to get cheaper rent - then it becomes obvious, that the improved year’s figures have nothing to do with radio advertising. If this is the case, these two facts, that there were radio advertising and that the sales went up, show correlation, but not a reason-consequence connection.
To summarize the abovementioned, hense normally advertising helps to improve business results and advertising on radio is not worse than any other sort of advertising, in this particular case the author should present more proofs, that it was radio ads, that caused the mentioned effect, and not the other factors. Also, some more information about this year business and last year strategy would also be helpful in order to convince the readers.
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