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Please grade my essay..

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Intern
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Joined: 23 Apr 2017
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GMAT 1: 620 Q45 V31
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New post 14 May 2017, 11:22
The following appeared in a memo to the Saluda town council from the town’s business manager:
“Research indicates that those who exercise regularly are hospitalized less than half as often as those who
don’t exercise. By providing a well-equipped gym for Saluda’s municipal employees, we should be able to reduce
the cost of our group health insurance coverage by approximately 50 percent and thereby achieve a balanced
town budget.”
Discuss how well reasoned … etc.




This argument is completely flawed due to a number of reasons.It is based on the unwarranted assumption that by providing a gymming facility the members wont need much of a health coverage, which is completely flawed.

First of all, anybody can fall ill anywhere and anytime.Although a healthy body does decrease the tendency of falling ill but still there is no guarantee that the person
will not fall ill.There are numerous diseases which any amount of rigorous exercise cannot control eg. Flu,virus attacks etc.Also factors like stress,insomnia,food poisoning can arise due to a number of reasons on which a person has no control.

Moreover such an insurance also covers accidents, which are beyond immediate control and reducing the coverage will only add to the economic burden of the patient who might go through it.
Even if we do consider the assumption as being appropriate, there is still no assurance that all the employees will go to the gym regularly for improving their health.Unless put under some obligation,it is the natural tendency of human mind to find the easy way out and to only go after a 'low-hanging fruit'.

The argument also assumes that all the employees have a similar physical requirement which is again absurd.The employees will hail from different age groups and genders and therefore will have different bodily requirements which having a gymming facility might not be able to fully address.For example if there is a pregnant lady who is an employee or a physically disabled person ,they might not be able to use the gym at all and such a case will need special needs.

Some members might already be using some gymming or yoga facility ,and for them such a thing would be redundant or an add on.For such a case they would not want their coverage to be reduced.

In short,based on the above mentioned reasons,the argument of the town Business manager is completely flawed and the plan should be rectified at the earliest.There can be several other ways for the manager for achieving a balanced town budget.
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New post 04 Aug 2019, 22:32
This is an official product from GMAC:-

https://www.mba.com/exam-prep/gmat-write

You may find this tool useful.

All the best!!
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New post Updated on: 08 Aug 2019, 01:42
Try to write more facts and remove extra interjections. The idea is cool, I like it, but it's worth a little refinement.

Originally posted by LiamBlack on 04 Aug 2019, 22:46.
Last edited by LiamBlack on 08 Aug 2019, 01:42, edited 1 time in total.
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New post 06 Aug 2019, 04:57
Looks good. Keep it up, friend!
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Re: Please grade my essay..   [#permalink] 06 Aug 2019, 04:57
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