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08 Jul 2017, 14:58
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This is my first post the GMATClub Forum. I've just started preparing for the GMAT, and this forum is a great help. Would love anyone's help that I can get on giving me feedback and a grade on my AWA essay below:
“Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help you increase your sales. Consider the results of a study conducted last month. Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were advertised in the Gazette for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad. Two-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
_______ My Essay Below _________
The Daily Gazette's promotional campaign, aimed towards supplying proof that grocery store advertisers can increase sales through advertising in the Gazette, is flawed and non-convincing. While making some attempt to provide facts and figures that support it's claim that advertising "will help you increase your sales," the claims it makes are vague, unfoundedly assume correlation and use evidence that does not fully support the argument.
Perhaps the most damming point of the claim is it's vague wording. When the claim introduces that sales will be increased, it does not give a percentage or dollar amount increase that grocers should expect. Likewise, the claim does not identify the name of the specific store in downtown Marston, nor the type of store; thinking that the promotional copy viewer will assume the downtown Marston store is of the grocery variety further leads to the damage done by vague claims.
Another flaw that decreases the effectiveness of the promotional copy is that the writers unfoundedly assume correlation between consumers seeing the advertisement and then, because of the advertisement, choosing to shop at that specific store. Having the sales clerks ask if the consumers had seen the ads, while potentially leading to false positive responses, yet another flaw in the Daily Gazette's methodology, does not indicate that that is the reason the consumer is shopping at the store. In fact, due to the vague nature of the promotional copy, combined with this error of correlation, perhaps the downtown Marston store is the only store within a 30 mile radius and so shoppers would have visited this location with or without having viewed the advertisements.
Furthermore, in an attempt to communicate the effectiveness of the advertising campaign the Daily Gazette's promotional copy boasts that "more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store." This bit of information, while superficially interesting, is evidence that does not support the promotional copy's claim. In order for the evidence to loan true support, it would need to be more clear as to the actual percentage increase this "more than $100" purchase size is over the test group of individuals that did not see the advertisement.
If the Daily Gazette wishes to improve their promotional copy they should improve the methodology of measurement in the subject stores, more fully disclose percentage or dollar increases in the sales of those that have seen the advertisements, and ensure a fair comparison between the two test groups by not asking leading questions.
“Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help you increase your sales. Consider the results of a study conducted last month. Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were advertised in the Gazette for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad. Two-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
_______ My Essay Below _________
The Daily Gazette's promotional campaign, aimed towards supplying proof that grocery store advertisers can increase sales through advertising in the Gazette, is flawed and non-convincing. While making some attempt to provide facts and figures that support it's claim that advertising "will help you increase your sales," the claims it makes are vague, unfoundedly assume correlation and use evidence that does not fully support the argument.
Perhaps the most damming point of the claim is it's vague wording. When the claim introduces that sales will be increased, it does not give a percentage or dollar amount increase that grocers should expect. Likewise, the claim does not identify the name of the specific store in downtown Marston, nor the type of store; thinking that the promotional copy viewer will assume the downtown Marston store is of the grocery variety further leads to the damage done by vague claims.
Another flaw that decreases the effectiveness of the promotional copy is that the writers unfoundedly assume correlation between consumers seeing the advertisement and then, because of the advertisement, choosing to shop at that specific store. Having the sales clerks ask if the consumers had seen the ads, while potentially leading to false positive responses, yet another flaw in the Daily Gazette's methodology, does not indicate that that is the reason the consumer is shopping at the store. In fact, due to the vague nature of the promotional copy, combined with this error of correlation, perhaps the downtown Marston store is the only store within a 30 mile radius and so shoppers would have visited this location with or without having viewed the advertisements.
Furthermore, in an attempt to communicate the effectiveness of the advertising campaign the Daily Gazette's promotional copy boasts that "more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store." This bit of information, while superficially interesting, is evidence that does not support the promotional copy's claim. In order for the evidence to loan true support, it would need to be more clear as to the actual percentage increase this "more than $100" purchase size is over the test group of individuals that did not see the advertisement.
If the Daily Gazette wishes to improve their promotional copy they should improve the methodology of measurement in the subject stores, more fully disclose percentage or dollar increases in the sales of those that have seen the advertisements, and ensure a fair comparison between the two test groups by not asking leading questions.
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