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Please rate my Toefl essay. I have exam this weekend :)

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Intern
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Please rate my Toefl essay. I have exam this weekend :) [#permalink]

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New post 14 Dec 2017, 00:54
Toefl Independant Writing

Q-2
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends easily.


My response

Happiness is perhaps the most sough after thing in the world. /it depends greatly on the person himself however the environment around him plays a key role. Friends play a vital role in nes life and sure are a source of strength and happiness. Hence it is important to keep your friend closer t you and at the same time meet new people and enjoy the experience.

Time changes in a person life. Sunshine does not last forever there are gloomy days as well. So when the going gets tougher we seek out to the people who are closer to us. Friends provide you with comfort and strength to get through the tough time. Maintaining good fiends is hence important also the longer the friendship is the more trustworthy is the relationship.

When my grandmother passed away i was devastated. Family was engulfed with sorrow and hence every where i looked i saw sadness. That was the time when friends cam over to counsel and comfort us. Childhood friends who i shared laughter with ere there to offer support

While the maintaining close relationship with old friends is important. It is also important that we meet new people and make friends. Meeting new people gives you a different perspective of life. They can add values in your life by broadening your perspective. I like to travel a lot and meet new people. I love to make new friends and see how they perceive about life and happiness.

I still remember that i was a workaholic person before i went abroad fro the 1st time to Rome. I went there for a day but latter decided to stay for two days. I met people smiling around, Happy they seemed to be. Laughing at smaller things, things that i ignored allmy life. Things that could have brought happiness in my life. I met new people made friends and few i still am in touch with.

To sum it up in a nutshell. Old friends are a source of happiness. Whenever you meet them you have trust between yourselves and you can figure out any problem you have or can laugh about stupid things you have done together in the past. Having said that, you can find happiness in meeting new people and making new friends and learning to stay happy as you are not the only one with problems. Millions around you are the same as you are
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Re: Please rate my Toefl essay. I have exam this weekend :) [#permalink]

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New post 14 Dec 2017, 05:14
Full of typos, missing punctuation marks and grammatical mistakes, you should review on your own before posting here for others to review. I saw the first para and didn't feel like reading/reviewing further.

Happiness is perhaps the most sough after thing in the world. /it depends greatly on the person himself however the environment around him plays a key role. Friends play a vital role in nes life and sure are a source of strength and happiness. Hence it is important to keep your friend closer t you and at the same time meet new people and enjoy the experience.
_________________

Formula of Life -> Achievement/Potential = k * Happiness (where k is a constant)

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Re: Please rate my Toefl essay. I have exam this weekend :) [#permalink]

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New post 14 Dec 2017, 06:52
subhashghosh wrote:
Full of typos, missing punctuation marks and grammatical mistakes, you should review on your own before posting here for others to review. I saw the first para and didn't feel like reading/reviewing further.

Happiness is perhaps the most sough after thing in the world. /it depends greatly on the person himself however the environment around him plays a key role. Friends play a vital role in nes life and sure are a source of strength and happiness. Hence it is important to keep your friend closer t you and at the same time meet new people and enjoy the experience.


Apologies.
Re: Please rate my Toefl essay. I have exam this weekend :)   [#permalink] 14 Dec 2017, 06:52
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Please rate my Toefl essay. I have exam this weekend :)

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