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Krystallized
Joined: 05 Nov 2016
Last visit: 12 Jul 2018
Posts: 26
Own Kudos:
Given Kudos: 68
Location: India
Concentration: Operations
Schools: Ivey '19 Schulich Sept 18 Intake (A)
GMAT 1: 610 Q48 V26
GMAT 2: 660 Q49 V31
GPA: 3.9
WE:Engineering (Consulting)
30 Jul 2017, 23:27
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Can anyone please review my essay? I could not complete this essay in 30 min, but i want to know whether i am writing the essay in a correct manner or not. Please help me by providing your valuable comments, so that i can improve.
The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine.
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
ANALYSIS:-
The author of the article recommends its readers to drink Saluda Natural spring Water, instead of tap water. To support the recommendation the author provides two premises: First, the presence of several minerals that are necessary for maintaining good health and the absence of bacteria in the water, which are proved to be true as per the laboratory studies, second, the fact that residents of the Saluda town are less frequently hospitalized than the national average. The author’s argument is based on unwarranted premise and it fails to establish the cost-benefit relationship for choosing Saluda Natural Spring Water over Tap water.
First, the author assumes that the minerals necessary for maintaining good health are absent, or at least in a lesser proportion, in the tap water as compared to the Saluda Natural Spring Water. This assumption unwarranted. The presence of minerals in the water, however, does not necessarily mean that those minerals are effectively absorbed in the body. This fact makes the author’s premise weak and naïve.
Second, the author assumes that the residents of the Saluda town drink water of the Saluda Natural Spring and, hence, are less frequently hospitalized than the national average. The residents of Saluda town, however, could be healthier because of their healthy dietary habits and regular workout routines. The author uses an oversimplified fact to justify his recommendation.
Finally, the author does not say anything about any less expensive option other than the Bottled Saluda Natural Spring Water. There could be some other alternative which are economical and have the same benefits as that of the Saluda Natural Spring Water.
To conclude, the author’s argument has many unanswered questions which make the argument weak. If the author would have provided data: regarding the lack of minerals in the tap water or the better absorption of the minerals present in the Saluda Natural Spring water in the body, proving that the residents of the Saluda town drink Water from the Saluda’s Natural Spring, which has made them healthier, and that there are no other economical options which yield the same health benefits as that of the Spring’s water. The argument would be more sound and persuasive.
The following appeared in an article in a health and fitness magazine.
“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.
ANALYSIS:-
The author of the article recommends its readers to drink Saluda Natural spring Water, instead of tap water. To support the recommendation the author provides two premises: First, the presence of several minerals that are necessary for maintaining good health and the absence of bacteria in the water, which are proved to be true as per the laboratory studies, second, the fact that residents of the Saluda town are less frequently hospitalized than the national average. The author’s argument is based on unwarranted premise and it fails to establish the cost-benefit relationship for choosing Saluda Natural Spring Water over Tap water.
First, the author assumes that the minerals necessary for maintaining good health are absent, or at least in a lesser proportion, in the tap water as compared to the Saluda Natural Spring Water. This assumption unwarranted. The presence of minerals in the water, however, does not necessarily mean that those minerals are effectively absorbed in the body. This fact makes the author’s premise weak and naïve.
Second, the author assumes that the residents of the Saluda town drink water of the Saluda Natural Spring and, hence, are less frequently hospitalized than the national average. The residents of Saluda town, however, could be healthier because of their healthy dietary habits and regular workout routines. The author uses an oversimplified fact to justify his recommendation.
Finally, the author does not say anything about any less expensive option other than the Bottled Saluda Natural Spring Water. There could be some other alternative which are economical and have the same benefits as that of the Saluda Natural Spring Water.
To conclude, the author’s argument has many unanswered questions which make the argument weak. If the author would have provided data: regarding the lack of minerals in the tap water or the better absorption of the minerals present in the Saluda Natural Spring water in the body, proving that the residents of the Saluda town drink Water from the Saluda’s Natural Spring, which has made them healthier, and that there are no other economical options which yield the same health benefits as that of the Spring’s water. The argument would be more sound and persuasive.
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