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10 Jun 2015, 08:00
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Hi, please review my AWA GMAT essay. It is my first try and my GMAT exam is in 3 weeks. Would be a lot of help if an expert can do it.
The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses:"Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability."
Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
The argument states that Furniture Depot used the advertising company's services and hence, was able to increases its sales and profitability. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors which can be used to evaluate the argument. Due to the absence of such factors, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument argument assumes that the use of the internet company's services has led to the increase in sales of Furniture Depot. The argument fails to give concrete evidence that use of such services was the sole reason for the company's improvement in performance. For example, high prices offered by the Furniture Depot's competitor might have led to higher sales or higher discounts by the company could have been a major factor in contributiing to the increased sales or a favourable change in the external environment might have been the cause of increased sales.
Second, the argument claims that using the advertising company's services led to higher profitability. However, the argument fails to mention the cost of employing such service. The argument states that the sales were increased by 10% while the profitability was also increased. However, without mentioning the cost of the acquired services the argument fails to tell the margin that the company ultimately earned. For instance, the company might have increased sales by 10% but the profits only increased by 1%. Therefore, the argument's effectiveness comes into questioned.
Finally, the argument is an appeal by the internet company to prospective clients for further business. However, the argument fails to clarify the kind of services provided by the advertising company. Hence, the prospective clients do not get a holistic picture of the advertising company's services, which casts a serious doubt on the effectiveness of the argument. The argument could have been strengthened by mentioning a brief outline of the kinds of strategies used by the advertising company to increase sales.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed because of the aforementioned reasons. The argument could have been strengthened if it mentioned all the relevant facts. A situation where a decision needs to be taken should be evaluated according to all its contributing factors. Without these factors, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.
The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses:"Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability."
Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
The argument states that Furniture Depot used the advertising company's services and hence, was able to increases its sales and profitability. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors which can be used to evaluate the argument. Due to the absence of such factors, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument argument assumes that the use of the internet company's services has led to the increase in sales of Furniture Depot. The argument fails to give concrete evidence that use of such services was the sole reason for the company's improvement in performance. For example, high prices offered by the Furniture Depot's competitor might have led to higher sales or higher discounts by the company could have been a major factor in contributiing to the increased sales or a favourable change in the external environment might have been the cause of increased sales.
Second, the argument claims that using the advertising company's services led to higher profitability. However, the argument fails to mention the cost of employing such service. The argument states that the sales were increased by 10% while the profitability was also increased. However, without mentioning the cost of the acquired services the argument fails to tell the margin that the company ultimately earned. For instance, the company might have increased sales by 10% but the profits only increased by 1%. Therefore, the argument's effectiveness comes into questioned.
Finally, the argument is an appeal by the internet company to prospective clients for further business. However, the argument fails to clarify the kind of services provided by the advertising company. Hence, the prospective clients do not get a holistic picture of the advertising company's services, which casts a serious doubt on the effectiveness of the argument. The argument could have been strengthened by mentioning a brief outline of the kinds of strategies used by the advertising company to increase sales.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed because of the aforementioned reasons. The argument could have been strengthened if it mentioned all the relevant facts. A situation where a decision needs to be taken should be evaluated according to all its contributing factors. Without these factors, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.
14 Jun 2015, 13:22
Kudos
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The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses:"Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability."
Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.[/b]
The argument states that Furniture Depot used the advertising company's services and hence, was able to increases its sales and profitability. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors which can be used to evaluate the argument. Due to the absence of such factors, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument argument assumes that the use of the internet company's services has led to the increase in sales of Furniture Depot. The argument fails to give concrete evidence that use of such services was the sole reason for the company's improvement in performance. For example, high prices offered by the Furniture Depot's competitor might have led to higher sales or higher discounts by the company could have been a major factor in contributiing to the increased sales or a favourable change in the external environment might have been the cause of increased sales.
The argument doesn't claim that use of internet company's services was the sole cause for the increased sales. There is no evidence that such services were a cause at all. "Use of such services" and "increase in sales" could simply be a coincidence.
Second, the argument claims that using the advertising company's services led to higher profitability. However, the argument fails to mention the cost of employing such service. The argument states that the sales were increased by 10% while the profitability was also increased. However, without mentioning the cost of the acquired services the argument fails to tell the margin that the company ultimately earned. For instance, the company might have increased sales by 10% but the profits only increased by 1%. Therefore, the argument's effectiveness comes into questioned.
Increased sales doesn't indicate anything about profit. As you rightly mentioned, the cost of employing such services isn't mentioned and thus nothing can be concluded about the profit. It's not about the "margin" that the company earned. We don't know whether the profitability increased. If the increase in cost is more than the increase in sales/ revenue, the profit will actually decline.
Finally, the argument is an appeal by the internet company to prospective clients for further business. However, the argument fails to clarify the kind of services provided by the advertising company. Hence, the prospective clients do not get a holistic picture of the advertising company's services, which casts a serious doubt on the effectiveness of the argument. The argument could have been strengthened by mentioning a brief outline of the kinds of strategies used by the advertising company to increase sales.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed because of the aforementioned reasons. The argument could have been strengthened if it mentioned all the relevant facts. A situation where a decision needs to be taken should be evaluated according to all its contributing factors. Without these factors, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Good use of transitions.
The essay has been organized well.
Good job of identifying the flawed assumptions.
Proofread your essay at the end to avoid silly spelling mistakes.
Happy Prepping!
Dolly Sharma
Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.[/b]
The argument states that Furniture Depot used the advertising company's services and hence, was able to increases its sales and profitability. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors which can be used to evaluate the argument. Due to the absence of such factors, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.
First, the argument argument assumes that the use of the internet company's services has led to the increase in sales of Furniture Depot. The argument fails to give concrete evidence that use of such services was the sole reason for the company's improvement in performance. For example, high prices offered by the Furniture Depot's competitor might have led to higher sales or higher discounts by the company could have been a major factor in contributiing to the increased sales or a favourable change in the external environment might have been the cause of increased sales.
The argument doesn't claim that use of internet company's services was the sole cause for the increased sales. There is no evidence that such services were a cause at all. "Use of such services" and "increase in sales" could simply be a coincidence.
Second, the argument claims that using the advertising company's services led to higher profitability. However, the argument fails to mention the cost of employing such service. The argument states that the sales were increased by 10% while the profitability was also increased. However, without mentioning the cost of the acquired services the argument fails to tell the margin that the company ultimately earned. For instance, the company might have increased sales by 10% but the profits only increased by 1%. Therefore, the argument's effectiveness comes into questioned.
Increased sales doesn't indicate anything about profit. As you rightly mentioned, the cost of employing such services isn't mentioned and thus nothing can be concluded about the profit. It's not about the "margin" that the company earned. We don't know whether the profitability increased. If the increase in cost is more than the increase in sales/ revenue, the profit will actually decline.
Finally, the argument is an appeal by the internet company to prospective clients for further business. However, the argument fails to clarify the kind of services provided by the advertising company. Hence, the prospective clients do not get a holistic picture of the advertising company's services, which casts a serious doubt on the effectiveness of the argument. The argument could have been strengthened by mentioning a brief outline of the kinds of strategies used by the advertising company to increase sales.
In conclusion, the argument is flawed because of the aforementioned reasons. The argument could have been strengthened if it mentioned all the relevant facts. A situation where a decision needs to be taken should be evaluated according to all its contributing factors. Without these factors, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.
Good use of transitions.
The essay has been organized well.
Good job of identifying the flawed assumptions.
Proofread your essay at the end to avoid silly spelling mistakes.
Happy Prepping!
Dolly Sharma
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