Hello - I also wrote a response to the first question in this post, namely:
"Nadir does not need to adopt the costly ‘family-friendly’ programs that have been proposed, such as part-time work, work at home, and job-sharing. When these programs were made available at the Summit Company, the leader in its industry, only a small percentage of employees participated in them. Rather than adversely affecting our profitability by offering these programs, we should concentrate on offering extensive training that will enable employees to increase their productivity.”
I would be very grateful for your feedback, as this is the first essay I am writing, and would like to know what to focus on to get it up to par (aiming for a 6.0).
Many thanks!
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The argument claims that the company Nadir should not adopt family-friendly employee programs because they are expensive; instead, it should offer training to increase employee productivity. However, in its current form the argument is poorly substantiated, and based on weak logical connections.
The argument suggests that the family-friendly program should not be adopted because it is expensive and would thus adversely affect the company’s profitability. However, this view fails to factor in the longer-term impact of such a policy on profitability. If the program was successful in allowing employees to enjoy more quality family time, without having any negative repercussions on their careers, then it is likely that the employees would be happier, and thus more productive. In this scenario, the cost of the program would be negated by an overall gain in profitability, in turn driven by higher productivity.
The author also sites that the program was poorly adopted at another company, namely Summit Company, in order to demonstrate that the program was unsuccessful. There are a number of flaws in this assumption. Firstly, it is possible that despite there being few, the program was nonetheless successful among the employees that adopted it. Secondly, the program may not have been well developed or supported at Summit Company. Specifically, employees that adopted the program may have been disadvantaged in a variety of ways – for example not being considered for promotion – versus employees that did not adopt the program; this could have led to few employees subsequently adopting the program. Finally, though a leader in its industry, Summit Company may be in a completely different industry to Nadir, which in turn could have different characteristics. For example, Summit Company might be in the fashion industry where the majority of employees are young and do not yet have families. Thus, the fact that the policy was poorly adopted at Summit Company does not mean that it was unsuccessful, or moreover, that it would thus also be unsuccessful at Nadir.
Finally, the author suggests that extensive training be implemented in lieu of the family-friendly programs. However, it is likely that such training would also be expensive. In order to justify this part of the argument, the author would need to demonstrate that the training would be cheaper. As the author does not do this, it is not possible to justify the use of training, rather than introduction of the family-friendly program.
In conclusion, the author fails to substantiate his argument by providing incomplete evidence, and using this to draw conclusions that do not hold up to questioning, as is demonstrated above.