Requesting Feedback on AWA - GMAT In 2 weeks. Thanks!
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28 Nov 2017, 18:58
Hi Guys - would appreciate any feedback on my essay below. This was my first AWA and my exam is in 2 weeks. Please advise if my response is too short?
Thanks!
Essay Question:
The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:
“The inflow of immigrant workers into our community has put a downward pressure on wages. In fact, the average compensation of unskilled labor in our city has declined by nearly 10% over the past 5 years. Therefore, to protect our local economy, it is essential to impose a moratorium on further immigration.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.
My Response:
This argument lacks sound reasoning and logic. Firstly, the argument is based on the assumption that only one factor, immigration, has contributed to the decline in wages. The author fails to consider other causes that may have led to the decline in the average compensation such as an economic downturn or recession. If there are fewer jobs available in the community, as may be the case in a recession, it is likely that wages would fall as the number of people seeking jobs is greater than the number of available jobs.
The author also fails to provide evidence to support his/her correlation between the inflow of immigrant workers and the compensation of unskilled labor. There is no mention of the increase in immigrant workers or how many of them are unskilled labor. In fact, had this been provided, it may indicate a weaker or no correlation between the two, thereby, countering the author's argument. Conversely, it may provide support to the author's point and could strengthen the argument if provided.
Furthermore, the argument fails to consider or highlight the positive economic impacts immigrant workers can have on the community. It is assumed that the immigrant workers are mostly unskilled but in fact, there may be several skilled immigrant workers who contribute to the local economy by paying taxes or creating jobs through small and medium businesses. As a result, the author's conclusion that a moratorium on further immigration is needed to protect the local economy is flawed.
Overall, the author could have strengthened the argument by providing greater evidence in support of the correlation between immigrant workers and the decline in wages. In addition, evidence ruling out other causes for the falling wages such as an economic downturn could also improve the argument's logic.