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31 Jan 2022, 08:04
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Hey guys, This is my first attempt at GRE issue essay topic, please grade it out of 6 points. 
#. Some people believe that competition drives young athletes to perform at their best, while others believe that competition discourages those who are not athletically talented from participating in organised sports.
Write a response in which you discuss which view closely aligns with your own and explain your reasoning for your position. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address both views presented.
Healthy competition is necessary in each and every field. It is equally important in sports as in businesses. Any field without competition becomes dull and not enjoyable to the majority of people. For example if the competition from a particular type of business lets say Smartphone becomes hugely dominated by a particular company that indicates more and more people are dependent on it, so the scope of improvement or innovation to try out new things starts to diminish as the companies know they are the only players in the market. This lack of competition essentially becomes dictatorship of a single company which is never a good sign not just only in businesses but in any field.
As competition is necessary for business to thrive, it is also necessary in the field of sports to make it more interesting and keep the audience on the edge of their seat. For example, one of the most watched sports event in the world IPL (Indian premier league) is watches by hundreds of millions of people world wide. There are total of 8 different teams (although the number might change every few years). The number of teams participating makes it ever so slightly more competitive, which helps to bring out the joy watching one’s favourite team win.
In the similar way, competition drives athletes to perform at their best and keep the fire in their heart to keep getting better and better at it in every single match. Although it might make the game intimidating to participate as there is tough chance at winning, one might also claim this will discourage those who are not athletically talented from participating in organised sports, but I disagree with this claim. According to me the more the competitive the game the more its popularity, so if one were to cap the most important aspect of the game that makes it so popular, it is doomed to fade into the background, and will be overtook by some other game, and similarly if the same happens with other games, it too starts to become less competitive and overall it will hurt the games more than it will help.
Athletics is not just only about playing the game for winning it, it is much more than that. It teaches the walks of life that simply cannot be taught in the classroom. It teaches perseverance, it teaches teams work. All in all, a sport cannot develop if there is a lack of competition and although it will discourage novice athletes to participate at start, but once the athlete shows some courage and participate without thinking a lot about claiming the top spot, it will be the catalyst that will make the same novice player a champion in long run. In conclusion I highly believe that competition drives young athletes to perform at their best.
#. Some people believe that competition drives young athletes to perform at their best, while others believe that competition discourages those who are not athletically talented from participating in organised sports.
Write a response in which you discuss which view closely aligns with your own and explain your reasoning for your position. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address both views presented.
Healthy competition is necessary in each and every field. It is equally important in sports as in businesses. Any field without competition becomes dull and not enjoyable to the majority of people. For example if the competition from a particular type of business lets say Smartphone becomes hugely dominated by a particular company that indicates more and more people are dependent on it, so the scope of improvement or innovation to try out new things starts to diminish as the companies know they are the only players in the market. This lack of competition essentially becomes dictatorship of a single company which is never a good sign not just only in businesses but in any field.
As competition is necessary for business to thrive, it is also necessary in the field of sports to make it more interesting and keep the audience on the edge of their seat. For example, one of the most watched sports event in the world IPL (Indian premier league) is watches by hundreds of millions of people world wide. There are total of 8 different teams (although the number might change every few years). The number of teams participating makes it ever so slightly more competitive, which helps to bring out the joy watching one’s favourite team win.
In the similar way, competition drives athletes to perform at their best and keep the fire in their heart to keep getting better and better at it in every single match. Although it might make the game intimidating to participate as there is tough chance at winning, one might also claim this will discourage those who are not athletically talented from participating in organised sports, but I disagree with this claim. According to me the more the competitive the game the more its popularity, so if one were to cap the most important aspect of the game that makes it so popular, it is doomed to fade into the background, and will be overtook by some other game, and similarly if the same happens with other games, it too starts to become less competitive and overall it will hurt the games more than it will help.
Athletics is not just only about playing the game for winning it, it is much more than that. It teaches the walks of life that simply cannot be taught in the classroom. It teaches perseverance, it teaches teams work. All in all, a sport cannot develop if there is a lack of competition and although it will discourage novice athletes to participate at start, but once the athlete shows some courage and participate without thinking a lot about claiming the top spot, it will be the catalyst that will make the same novice player a champion in long run. In conclusion I highly believe that competition drives young athletes to perform at their best.
31 Jan 2022, 09:03
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Welcome to GMAT Club!
AWA Score: 4 - 4.5 out of 6
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 3/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.
Coherence and connectivity: 3/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.
Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!
For any of your upcoming posts you are supposed to follow the AWA forum rules; click on the link below to read the rules.
https://gmatclub.com/forum/awa-forum-ru ... 64141.html
Good Luck
nnd123321
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