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Struggling with the general outline. Never crossed 4.5 on mocks

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Intern
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Joined: 07 Sep 2017
Posts: 17

Kudos [?]: 7 [0], given: 4

Struggling with the general outline. Never crossed 4.5 on mocks [#permalink]

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New post 21 Sep 2017, 05:13
Read the statement and the instructions that follow it, and then make any notes that will help you plan your response. Begin typing your response at the bottom of the screen. You have 30 minutes in which to complete the essay.

"Although Ramshackle County has had fiscal problems for the past few years, there is no reason to raise local taxes. A significant part of the shortfall has come from road, bridge, and rail maintenance projects. However, those expenditures will soon decrease dramatically, since recent survey results show that the percentage of employed persons who telecommute has been growing at double-digit rates over the past four years. Thus, far fewer people will be using the county's roads, bridges, and rails, significantly reducing maintenance costs."
Discuss how well-reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.


The statement sheds light on Ramshackle County's fiscal problems over the past few years, dismisses one possible solution to the problem and suggests that the problem will resolve by itself. It supports this stance by citing a survey, however no statistics are provided. It also banks heavily on certain assumptions which could flawed. The statement can be strengthened with the aid of more comprehensive statstics and figures that will help in judging the situation better. Data on breakdown of commuters on the basis of employment or purpose (such as tourism) and vehicle types could help further isolate the cause of increased expenditure on the county's infrastructure and address it accordingly.

Firstly, the statement relies on the assumption that employed people commuting is the primary reason for the infrastructural projects and consequently the shortfall in the county's budget. It is possible that the county is gaining popularity as a tourist spot and that a surge in the number of tourists visiting over the past few years has led to an unforeseeable increase in the wear and tear of the county's channels of transport. In such a scenario, even if the percentage of employed persons who telecommute increases at an exponential rate, it would be of little help to aid the fiscal health of the county.

Secondly, the statement cites a survey but does not cite comprehensive statistics. It is probable that employed people form a very small percentage of commuters or that majority of commuters consist of college students or heavy commercial vehicles. Also, if the percentage of employed people in the country were to drop drastically over the coming years, the author's forecast of fewer people using transport would fall flat.

Moreover, it is possible that inflation in industrial goods that are generally used to build and maintain the county's infrastructure could overshadow any gains derived from declines in the percentage of employed people that commute.

Lastly, there could be a scenario wherein unemployed persons or commercial vehicles constitute a smaller percentage of commuters than do employed persons but use heavier vehicles that contribute considerably more to the wear and tear of infrastructure.

In conclusion, it seems to be conjecture on the author's part to assume that merely employed commuters (or even people, for that matter) are responsible for majority of the maintenance required by the infrastructre. Citing further studies could definitely help eliminate other factors (such as weather conditions) and plausible coincidences.

Scored 3.0

========================================================================================================================

Read the statement and the instructions that follow it, and then make any notes that will help you plan your response. Begin typing your response at the bottom of the screen. You have 30 minutes in which to complete the essay.
"Seven years ago, Zephyr Industries had no problem recruiting qualified candidates from college campuses. This year, however, Zephyr has hired only three qualified interns, fewer than one-quarter of those hired in each of the three preceding years. This suggests that the company's recruitment efforts need to be revamped. Since a growing number of potential recruits learn of career opportunities via social media and online discussion boards, Zephyr should suspend its campus recruitment efforts and instead hire social media consultants."
Discuss how well-reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion, be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.


The statement presents the case of Zephyr industries, which has drastically reduced hiring from college campuses. The statement provides the disparity in figures of qualified interns hired in the current year and those hired in each of the three preceding years. Furthermore, the author recognizes this reduction in campus recruits as a need to revamp Zephyr's recruitment efforts. Lastly, the statement suggests hiring social media consultants, citing the growing number of potential recruits that discover career opportunities via social media and online discussion boards and also suspending campus recruitment efforts entirely. The argument is flawed because it presents no evidence to back its claim that recruitment efforts are in need of a revamp. It also provides no statistics that lend credibility to social media and discussion boards as a growing pool of potential recruits. Even if a growing number of potential recruits learn of career opportunities from said sources, it would be a gamble to suspend campus recruitment efforts entirely.

Firstly, the statement does not provide any information of the changes that have taken place in Zephyr over the past seven years. It is entirely possible that the company has changed its line of business or has scaled down its operations considerably. Such scenarios would definitely warrant cutting down the number of campus recruits. Moreover, hiring an individual in a company requires consent from said individual. A scenario in which candidates were extended offers but declined to accept or changed their minds after accepting the offer. There are ways to tackle such instances but in no way do they require Zephyr to revamp recruitment efforts.

Secondly, it is possible that a reduction in hiring college recruits in itself is a revamp of Zephyr's recruitment policy. A dip in quality of work and company standards brought about by hiring too many interns might have prompted Zephyr to cut down on the number of individuals it intakes from colleges. The argument presented does not consider this scenario and only translates this change as a cause for further action and overhaul.

The author has also presented social media and online discussion boards as a growing pool of potential candidates which can be tapped into but provides no statstics that demonstrate the effectiveness of these platforms. If a study were to show that majority of employees who quit jobs are absorbed from these platforms, it would heavily dent the credibility of this suggestion. Lastly, instead of suggesting the company to ease into other sources of hiring candidates, the author suggests a heavily risky move of suspending campus recruitment efforts in its entirety. A safer option might be to increase social media participation in phases.

Scored 3.5

Kudos [?]: 7 [0], given: 4

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Re: Struggling with the general outline. Never crossed 4.5 on mocks [#permalink]

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New post 21 Sep 2017, 07:27
Hi dejavu,

there is one pdf freely available on internet . This pdf contains sample answer for all official issue/Argument topics.
Just read this pdf and you will come to know how to write this segment.
Also you can follow chineseburned template available on gclub.
_________________

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Kudos [?]: 39 [0], given: 18

Intern
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Joined: 07 Sep 2017
Posts: 17

Kudos [?]: 7 [0], given: 4

Re: Struggling with the general outline. Never crossed 4.5 on mocks [#permalink]

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New post 21 Sep 2017, 08:32
mbaaspirant80 wrote:
Hi dejavu,

there is one pdf freely available on internet . This pdf contains sample answer for all official issue/Argument topics.
Just read this pdf and you will come to know how to write this segment.
Also you can follow chineseburned template available on gclub.


I referred to the pdf as well as the stickied post by chineseburned before attempting these AWAs. Where exactly am I going wrong?

Kudos [?]: 7 [0], given: 4

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Status: Transforming Educational System
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GMAT 1: 650 Q50 V27
GRE 1: 319 Q170 V149
WE: Education (Non-Profit and Government)
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Re: Struggling with the general outline. Never crossed 4.5 on mocks [#permalink]

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New post 21 Sep 2017, 23:07
dejavu619 wrote:
mbaaspirant80 wrote:
Hi dejavu,

there is one pdf freely available on internet . This pdf contains sample answer for all official issue/Argument topics.
Just read this pdf and you will come to know how to write this segment.
Also you can follow chineseburned template available on gclub.


I referred to the pdf as well as the stickied post by chineseburned before attempting these AWAs. Where exactly am I going wrong?



This one might help. Have a look at the attachments too.

https://gmatclub.com/forum/useful-gmat- ... 23478.html
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If you found my post helpful, kindly press "+1 Kudos" to appreciate :) ..TIA

Kudos [?]: 88 [0], given: 42

Re: Struggling with the general outline. Never crossed 4.5 on mocks   [#permalink] 21 Sep 2017, 23:07
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Struggling with the general outline. Never crossed 4.5 on mocks

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