I intentionally chose a provoking title, so you will read my awa and give me some critical hints
Since our company started manufacturing and marketing a deluxe light bulb six months ago, sales of our economy light bulb—and company profits—have decreased significantly. Although the deluxe light bulb sells for 50 percent more than the economy bulb, it lasts twice as long. Therefore, to increase repeat sales and maximize profits, we should discontinue the deluxe light bulb.In the passage, the author argues that the company should stop selling a recently developed and marketed deluxe light bulb which is priced fifty percent higher and has double the lifetime as the economy bulb has. Since the introduction of this new light bulb, company profits and sales of the economy light bulb have both decreased. This is based on the premise that although the deluxe light bulb sells for fifty percent more, it has double the lifetime than the economy light bulb. However, on deeper analyisis
(spellcheck) it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of serious flaws and mistaken assumptions.
One such flaw is the very superficial assumption that the decrease of sales of the economy bulb is due to the new deluxe light bulb. Other reasons such as an innovative new LED light bulb produced by another company X could be the cause for the drop of sales of the economy light bulb. Therefore, in order to strengthen the arugment
(spellcheck), the author needs to analyse the sales numbers of the light bulb company with respect to the sales of the new deluxe light bulb. If, for example, the sales of the new deluxe light bulb increased directly proportional to the decrease of the economy light bulb, it would indeed strengthen the conclusion of the author.
Further the author wrongly assumes that to stop selling the new deluxe light bulb is the only option for the company to repeat sales and maximize profits. However, there are plenty of other possibilities which the author has not taken into consideration. In order to repeat sales and maximise profits the company could opt for an expansion strategy to boost sales on both, the new deluxe bulb and economy bulb. Another way to boost sales could also be broader product diversification fitting the needs of a wide range of customers. In order to render this argument more valid, the writer has to dig depper
(spellcheck) for all possible strategies the company can consider to boost sales and profits.
More over, the writer's argument fails to analyse the profit margins of each of the two light bulbs sold. The proft
(spellcheck) margins are of paramount importance when analysing the decreasing profits. Given that the profit margin of the newly developed light bulb is thrice the maring
(spellcheck) of the economy bulb, the company could expand and focus on selling solely the new delux light bulb, becoming a specialized high end producer of deluxe light bulbs worldwide. To overcome this flaw, the author has to analyse and include the profit margins of the two light bulbs into his argument.
After closer examination of the passage presented, it is apparent that there are several logical flaws. The recommendations in the essay show how the argument may be strengthend
(spellcheck) and made more logically sound.
Congrats for writing a good essay. I think it can score 5.5 at least(would be nice if you did a proof reading, avoid spelling mistakes).
May be you can mention that even though the company is selling less number of deluxe light bulbs, selling just half the total number of economy bulbs can drive up the company profits, so why would the company go against its own benefit?
I may have mentioned that once a reputed company starts selling a product or starts manufacturing and marketing a product, discontinuing it can have an adverse effect on the reputation of the company.
P.S: I am really confused whether to use 's' or 'z' in certain words. Though both are correct, I prefer to use 'Z' in my words (analyze, minimize, etc). I am not sure if the former is distinguished as incorrect on GMAT.
I hope that helps.