To all the schools that turned me down

Apologies to Willie Nelson.

To all the schools that turned me down
I gave a smile, I got a frown
They think they’re right, I know they’re wrong
I dedicate this song
To all the schools that turned me down

To all schools that gave me a ding
Said I’ve got nothin’ good to bring
You said hello and shook my hand
Then you told me to go pound sand
To all the schools that turned me down

The essays, they don’t get done
More time and money down the drain
The essays, they just keep comin’
Sappin’ blood from every vein

To all the schools that said “no thanks”
We want students from investment banks
I printed ‘bout a dozen trees
I paid your application fees
You FU**IN schools that turned me down

To all the schools whose Adcoms laughed
After givin’ me the ten-foot shaft
I traveled to your stupid town
My nose covered up with brown
From all the schools that turned me down

The essays, they don’t get done
More time and money down the drain
The essays, they just keep comin’
Sappin’ blood from every vein

To all schools that sent emails
Won’t even tell me the details
I can’t believe I even tried
Should’a known I would be denied
By every school that turned me down

To all the schools that turned me down
I’m feelin’ like I’m gonna drown
In the pain, misery, and loss
It’s time for me to hit the sauce
And forget the schools that turned me down