Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily G

Question

“Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will
help you increase your sales. Consider the results of a study conducted last month.
Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were advertised in the Gazette
for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad. Two-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

In this argument, the author asserts that advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help grocery stores in Marston area increase their sales. To substantiate this conclusion, the author cites the results of a study conducted last month showing that thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston advertised in Gazette for four days, and clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad each time one or more of the thirty items was purchase. Tow-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative, and more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store. At first glance, the author’s argument appears to be somewhat convincing, but close scrutiny reveals that the line of reasoning employed is invalid and hence the conclusion is probably misleading due to several critical logic flaws. In short, the author’s analysis does not lend strong support to the author’s claim, and lack of credibility in reasoning makes the conclusion problematic.

First, the method of conducting the study commits several mistakes. In the study, clerks from the store asked to shopper that they had read the ad when a shopper purchased each time one or more of the 30 items. However, this question violates the essential virtue of survey, neutrality of questionnaire. Thus, this study as a whole loses credibility to represent the effect of advertising in Gazette. To gain confidence of the study, therefore make the conclusion more convincing, the study should construct the questionnaire obeying the neutrality. For example, rather than asking whether a shopper had read the ad, asking what makes a shopper choose the item brings more credibility in the study.

Second, the author omits to recognize that the sample from the study can not represent the population. Scilicet, the size of the sample is too small to generalize. In the study, only 200 shoppers were asked about the ad, and among them, roughly 133 customers affirmative about the ad. Furthermore, approximately 67 customers among them spent over $100 at the store. However, this evidence is questionable, since the study does not offer absolute number of total customers to evaluate validity. Knowing that this study had conducted for four days, I infer total number of customers who visited a store for four days would be much higher than 200 customer. Even though the number counts near 200, this study suffers from lack of the number of samples. Therefore, in every aspects, this study has failed to lend strong buttress to the author’s claim.

To sum up, the author fails to provide adequate justification for the argument. The premise cited is not only incomplete but also dubious. Therefore, to support the conclusion of the argument more logically convincing, the author should include the above-mentioned assumptions as additional evidence. If so, the argument would be much more persuasive.

Thank you so much !

DisciplinedPrep · Answer

suminha  - In short, this AWA attempt is very good and such a passage could very well fetch you a score of 5.5 and above. I am happy you have incorporated all feedback and strengthened your writing; also, I notice fewer grammar issues. Overall, it is a solid passage. Please make sure to practice a few AWA from the official guide; allocate a good 2-3 min to proofread your writing every time so that it becomes a habit. All the best.

suminha · Answer

Thank you so much DisciplinedPrep ! All kudos to you

saumyap · Answer

I am open to suggestions for improvement. Please evaluate it
Prompt:

The following appeared as part of a promotional campaign to sell advertising space in the Daily Gazette to grocery stores in the Marston area:
“Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help you increase your sales. Consider the results of a study conducted last month. Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were advertised in The Gazette for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad. Two-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

Essay:
The above argument is flawed for numerous reasons. The claim made by the author stating, “Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will help you increase your sales." is unsubstantiated because of the number of unwarranted assumptions made by the author to prove this.

Firstly, the author has stated the evidence from a study which was conducted in the downtown Marston area. It is not necessary that the other areas of Marston will produce similar results. Many factors like the population of the area, type of clientele, type of locality etc. affects the sales. The author has failed to account for any of these factors while stating the study as an evidence for the guaranteed increase in sales through advertising in the Daily Gazette.

Moreover, It is mentioned that each time when one or more of the 30 items were purchased by a customer then at least two thirds of those customers had read the ad. But, this does not mean that the customer bought the discounted items because of the ad. It can be the case that the items were essential items, and the customer would have bought them even without the sale.

Furthermore, the statement that , more than half of the buyers who read the ad spent more than 100 dollars does not support how it will lead to an increased profit. It might be the case that remaining percentage of the total customers spent substantially fewer than the 100 dollars. Hence, this data does not validate the increased sales of other items as well.

Lastly, the author could have strengthened argument by providing the relevant data corresponding to several other locations of the Marston area, and by giving the information pertaining to the type of customers who visited the store, and the items which were on the sale.

In conclusion, the author has failed to make a convincing argument regarding the increase in sales from advertising in the Daily Gazette.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5-5.5 out of 6!

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5  
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5  
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5 
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

PS: You are expected to write a little more in terms of the quantity of the text.

Good Luck

yashaancawasji · Answer

Hi all, Could you please evaluate this essay I have written.

I think I got the whole essence of the argument wrong. COuld you please give me some feedback on this apart from the computer generated feedback?

My Essay:

The argument claims that in a study conducted; 30 items from a grocery store were put on sale and advertised in the Daily Gazette for four days the revenues of the store increased as two third of the 200 shoppers read the advertisement. It further stated that more than half of the shoppers who read the advertisement spent over $100. This argument later concludes that advertising with promotional offers and discounts in the Daily Gazette will help stores to increase sales. This argument lacks any evidence and is flawed in several ways.

Firstly, the argument readily assumes that sample of 200 shoppers in their study equally represents the whole population of the Marston town and that the purchasing behaviour of these 200 shoppers resonates with the population of the town. This statement is extremely questionable as the sample of study must represent the whole population rendering the inferences inaccurate and biased. This statement would’ve been valid if the number of shoppers at least represented 20-25% of the population.

Secondly, the author claims that providing discounts in your store will guarantee an increase in sales as per the study mentioned. This claim is flawed and lacks vital information of the revenue generated from those 200 shoppers and whether the sales actually increased or no. To illustrate further- the author should have a matrix with quantifiable data proving the purchasing behaviour of residents of Marston before the discount promotion and after the promotion. Without this quantifiable data the conclusion that sales will increase due to discounts provided is considered invalid and illogical.

Lastly, the argument further assumes that the goods kept on sale are in demand in the market. This assumption is also incorrect as there is no evidence of the demand in the Marston town. What if the items on sale aren’t required by any of the 200 shoppers? What if the items on sale are the least interesting products in the grocery store? Without any justifiable answer to these questions this assumption is considered flawed.

In conclusion, the whole argument that suggests a reducing the price of selected grocery items will increase sales is questionable. To strengthen this the author should look into the flaws mentioned above and take actions accordingly in order to attract more grocery store owners. Without the required evidence and information this argument stands invalid and open to debate.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5  
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 2.5/5   
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5 
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

blehh · Answer

Can someone please rate my AWA response:

Prompt-
The following appeared as part of a promotional campaign to sell advertising space in the Daily Gazette to grocery stores in the Marston area.

“Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily Gazette will
help you increase your sales. Consider the results of a study conducted last month.
Thirty sale items from a store in downtown Marston were advertised in the Gazette
for four days. Each time one or more of the 30 items was purchased, clerks asked whether the shopper had read the ad. Two-thirds of the 200 shoppers asked answered in the affirmative. Furthermore, more than half the customers who answered in the affirmative spent over $100 at the store.”
Discuss how well reasoned... etc.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

Response-
The argument states that advertising about the reduced price of grocery items lead to an increase in the sales. The argument further tries to prove this by providing an example from an instance of a store in downtown Marston. However, this argument is flawed and there are major gaps in the reasoning which makes the argument unconvincing.

First of all, the author mentions about an instance from a store in which the sales increased after advertising. This reasoning is flawed because there might be other stores in Marston whose sales have not increased even after advertising their products in the Daily Gazette. Also, advertising is not the only way in which a store can increase its sales. If the store is located in a bad locality or is inaccessible to a majority then even after advertising their sales might not improve.

Moreover, the argument states of that two-thirds of the twenty shoppers answered that they came to the store after seeing the advertisement. This argument is flawed as there might have been other shoppers who were not surveyed by the clerks and would have missed the advertisements but still shopped from the store. Also, it is a possibility that the items that are listed on discount are essential items and buyers would have bought them even if they had not seen the advertisement.

Lastly, the argument mentions that more than half of the people who saw the ad and came to shop spent more than $100 at the store. It is possible that the remaining half would have spent an amount substantially less than $100. If this is the case then the store might not have made as much profit as it had expected from the advertisement.

Thus, we can conclude that the argument is flawed and unconvincing. The argument fails to provide relevant data and there are logical discrepancies which makes the argument weak. In order to strengthen the argument relevant data should be provided which can prove that advertising in the Daily Gazette is the only reason for the increase in sales, and should also provide evidence from other stores that advertise in the Daily Gazette.

Sajjad1994 · Answer

AWA Score: 4.5 out of 6

Coherence and Connectivity: 4/6
The essay shows a moderate level of coherence and connectivity. The arguments are presented in a logical sequence, but some transitions between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother.

Word Structure: 4.5/6
The word structure is generally sound, with appropriate use of vocabulary and sentence structures. Some sentences could be improved for clarity and precision.

Paragraph Structure and Formation: 4/6
The essay has a basic paragraph structure, but some paragraphs could be better organized. There is room for improvement in terms of topic sentences and supporting details.

Language and Grammar: 5/6
The language and grammar are mostly accurate, with only minor errors in tense agreement and sentence construction.

Vocabulary and Word Expression: 4/6
The vocabulary and word expression are adequate, but there is room for more varied and precise word choices.

The essay critically evaluates the provided argument and points out several flaws in the reasoning. It highlights the lack of evidence from other stores, the possibility of other factors influencing sales, and the limitations of the survey conducted by the clerks. The essay correctly identifies questionable assumptions in the argument, such as assuming that advertising is the sole reason for the increase in sales.

To further improve the essay, the author could provide specific data or examples from other stores in Marston that advertised in the Daily Gazette and their sales outcomes. This would strengthen the argument by offering a more comprehensive picture of the impact of advertising in the newspaper.

Overall, the essay provides a reasonable critique of the argument, but it could benefit from better paragraph organization, more varied vocabulary, and additional supporting evidence to reinforce its points. With these improvements, the essay would be more logically sound and compelling.

Read the following guides for a perfect 6!

https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html

https://gmatclub.com/forum/the-gmatclub ... 36251.html

https://gmatclub.com/forum/tips-to-writ ... 07550.html

Good luck!

Advertising the reduced price of selected grocery items in the Daily G

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