Your self-esteem is closely related to your self-concept. Through your self-concept, you describe who you are. Through your self-esteem or self-worth, you evaluate who you are. People derive their sense of self-worth from comparing themselves to others. A belief that you cannot cook like a chef may not, in itself, lower your self-esteem. But if there are several things you can’t do well, or many important tasks that you cannot seem to master, these shortcomings may begin to colour your overall sense of worth.
Psychologist Eric Berne developed the concept of a life position to describe people’s overall sense of their own worth and that of others. He identified four positions: (1) ‘I’m OK, you’re OK,’ or positive regard for self and others; (2) ‘I’m OK, you’re not OK,’ or positive regard for self and low regard for others; (3) ‘I’m not OK, you’re OK,’ or low self-regard and positive regard for others and (4) ‘I’m not OK, you’re not OK,’ or low regard for both self and others. Your life position is a driving force in your relationships with others. People in the ‘I’m OK, you’re OK,’ position have the best chance of healthy relationships because they have discovered their own talents and recognise that others have talents different from their own.
Intrapersonal communication is communication within yourself—self-talk. Realistic positive self-talk can have a reassuring effect on your level of self-worth and your interactions with others. Conversely, repeating negative messages about your lack of skill and ability can keep you from trying and achieving.
Visualisation takes the notion of self-talk one step further. Besides, just telling yourself that you can achieve your goal, you can actually try to ‘see’ yourself conversing effectively with others, performing well on a project or exhibiting some other desirable behaviour. Research suggests that an apprehensive public speaker can manage fear not only by developing skills in public speaking but also by visualising positive results when speaking to an audience.
Reframing is the process of redefining events and experiences from a different point of view. Just as reframing a work of art can give the picture a whole new look, reframing events can change your perspective.
Having at least one other person who can help you honestly reflect on your virtues and vices can be extremely beneficial in fostering a healthy, positive self-image. The more credible the source of information, the more likely you are to believe it. Having a trusted friend, colleague or counsellor who can listen without judging you and give you the straight scoop about yourself can help you avoid ‘pity parties.
Your self-concept is not a fixed construct. It was not implanted at birth to remain constant for the rest of your life. Things change. Individuals with low self-esteem may be locking on to events and experiences that happened years ago and tenaciously refusing to let go of them.
Some of your self-image problems may be so ingrained that you need professional help. A trained therapist can help you sort through them. Because you have spent your whole lifetime developing your self-esteem, it is not easy to make big changes. But as you have seen, talking through problems can make a difference.
1. What is the central idea of the passage?(A) Comparing and contrasting intrapersonal and interpersonal communication.
(B) Discussing the differences between self-esteem and self-concept.
(C) Discussing the stages that people go through when they are facing change.
(D) Encouraging the use of therapy and counselling to deal with stress.
(E) Explaining the concept of self-esteem and describing ways to improve self-image.
2. According to the passage, visualisation can prove helpful in enhancing self-worth. This is clear from the fact that:(A) a person gets a chance to enhance self-worth when he compares himself to others.
(B) an individual’s self-concept can change with time as he visualises things.
(C) it helps in reframing events that can change one’s perspective towards life.
(D) it takes self-talk one step ahead and helps in visualising things positively which yields positive results.
(E) looking to future events and experiences can give a boost to your self-concept.
3. According to the author, what can be concluded from the passage?(A) Communication, when taking the shape of visualisation, reframing and self-talk, can foster a positive self-image.
(B) People can improve the overall sense of their own worth and that of others in several ways.
(C) Self-worth and self-concept are the most significant assets of human life.
(D) Self-concept can be changed at any stage of life.
(E) There are a variety of ways in which a healthy self-image can be fostered.
4. According to the passage, the author agrees with all of the following statements, EXCEPT:(A) developing honest relationships is important to creating a healthy self-image.
(B) speech communication empowers each of us.
(C) people can also help an individual reflect upon his virtues and vices.
(D) people and circumstances change.
(E) your self-concept is formed before you are born and remains the same.