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# All Business School essays decoded

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Director
Joined: 26 Aug 2014
Posts: 824
Concentration: Marketing
GPA: 3.4

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10 Mar 2015, 12:54
8
1
Found this on another blog and it made me laugh. Now that essays are behind most people, I'm sure you can appreciate the humor.

Harvard: Of which Fortune 1000 company are you going to become the CEO and why would you pick that company?

Wharton: Of which Fortune 1000 company are you going to become the CFO and why would you pick that company?

MIT: Draw an ASCII picture of your favorite Lord of the Rings character and describe three lessons that today's business leaders can learn from Lord Of The Rings.

Stanford: Why? (100,000 words recommended)

Chicago Booth: Provide a detailed statistical analysis of why Chicago-Booth is #1 in BWeek and never higher than #3 in USNews. Do the math in your head.

NYU: How badly do you need a vacation from your ibanking job, and what makes you think you will be able to get back into ibanking upon graduation?

Yale SOM: Which nonprofit organization do you plan to run, and what about running a nonprofit makes you feel important?

Columbia: In your opinion, what is the best way to sabotage the Whartonian CFO of your company and become CFO?

UC Berkeley Haas: What makes a hippie like you think you can succeed in business? Use the words 'sustainable' and 'green' at least twice in your response.

Cornell Johnson: Describe how awesome being an Ivy Leaguer would make you feel.

UVA Darden: How badly do you want your ass to be kicked by our professors on a scale of 9 to 10?

Notre Dame: Describe how awesome Irish Football is, and list ten ways we can make our MBA program as well-known as our NFL training program.

London Business School: Answer NYU's essay and use the find/replace function to replace all 'NYU' with 'LBS', 'New York' with 'London' and 'program' with 'programme'.

Wash U Olin: How early are you willing to wake up to serve coffee to our medical students?

UNC Kenan-Flagler: See Notre Dame but replace Irish Football with Tar Heel basketball, and NFL with NBA.

U of Phx (pick 2 of 4): When your boss finds out you have enrolled here, how loudly will he/she laugh? Have you ever wasted a lot of money on something useless before? Would you be willing to appear on a billboard or would you rather keep your enrollment a secret? What is 5+8?

Tuck: Do you remember summer camp? How amazing was that!?!? Don't you wish you could go to camp for 21 months? Attach a letter you wrote to your parents in fifth grade summer camp explaining how awesome it was.

UMich Ross: What was the craziest thing you did while tailgating during undergrad, and are you prepared to tailgate like a pro again? In your essay, try to include the words moonshine, goat, and anus.

Kellogg: Explain why you think good quantitative skills are not required in business and discuss the importance of teamwork in situations in which no one is skilled enough to do the job by himself.

UCLA Anderson: Have you seen that show "The Hills?" Isn't it amazing? Discuss your strategies for getting into clubs to party with the cast of "The Hills" so you can feel important.

Duke Fuqua: What are your short-term and long-term career goals? Begin your essay with the sentence, "My career goal is to provide investment and business advice to the much more successful graduates of the Duke Law and Medical Schools."

Carnegie Mellon Tepper: Draw an ASCII picture of your favorite MIT student and list three things that business leaders can learn from MIT.

INSEAD: List the number of languages in which you are fluent, and explain how knowing a bunch of languages and studying in one of the world's slowest economies for ten months will make you an effective business leader.

CEIBS: Would you rather be upper middle class in the US, or rich in China? Pleeeeeeeease say rich in China!
Manager
Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 75
Location: United States
GMAT 2: 670 Q46 V36
GMAT 3: 610 Q44 V28
GPA: 3.46
WE: Sales (Consumer Products)

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10 Mar 2015, 13:02
HIGH-larious!!!!

Especially the MIT one and the Johnson one.

angelfire213 wrote:
Found this on another blog and it made me laugh. Now that essays are behind most people, I'm sure you can appreciate the humor.

Harvard: Of which Fortune 1000 company are you going to become the CEO and why would you pick that company?

Wharton: Of which Fortune 1000 company are you going to become the CFO and why would you pick that company?

MIT: Draw an ASCII picture of your favorite Lord of the Rings character and describe three lessons that today's business leaders can learn from Lord Of The Rings.

Stanford: Why? (100,000 words recommended)

Chicago Booth: Provide a detailed statistical analysis of why Chicago-Booth is #1 in BWeek and never higher than #3 in USNews. Do the math in your head.

NYU: How badly do you need a vacation from your ibanking job, and what makes you think you will be able to get back into ibanking upon graduation?

Yale SOM: Which nonprofit organization do you plan to run, and what about running a nonprofit makes you feel important?

Columbia: In your opinion, what is the best way to sabotage the Whartonian CFO of your company and become CFO?

UC Berkeley Haas: What makes a hippie like you think you can succeed in business? Use the words 'sustainable' and 'green' at least twice in your response.

Cornell Johnson: Describe how awesome being an Ivy Leaguer would make you feel.

UVA Darden: How badly do you want your ass to be kicked by our professors on a scale of 9 to 10?

Notre Dame: Describe how awesome Irish Football is, and list ten ways we can make our MBA program as well-known as our NFL training program.

London Business School: Answer NYU's essay and use the find/replace function to replace all 'NYU' with 'LBS', 'New York' with 'London' and 'program' with 'programme'.

Wash U Olin: How early are you willing to wake up to serve coffee to our medical students?

UNC Kenan-Flagler: See Notre Dame but replace Irish Football with Tar Heel basketball, and NFL with NBA.

U of Phx (pick 2 of 4): When your boss finds out you have enrolled here, how loudly will he/she laugh? Have you ever wasted a lot of money on something useless before? Would you be willing to appear on a billboard or would you rather keep your enrollment a secret? What is 5+8?

Tuck: Do you remember summer camp? How amazing was that!?!? Don't you wish you could go to camp for 21 months? Attach a letter you wrote to your parents in fifth grade summer camp explaining how awesome it was.

UMich Ross: What was the craziest thing you did while tailgating during undergrad, and are you prepared to tailgate like a pro again? In your essay, try to include the words moonshine, goat, and anus.

Kellogg: Explain why you think good quantitative skills are not required in business and discuss the importance of teamwork in situations in which no one is skilled enough to do the job by himself.

UCLA Anderson: Have you seen that show "The Hills?" Isn't it amazing? Discuss your strategies for getting into clubs to party with the cast of "The Hills" so you can feel important.

Duke Fuqua: What are your short-term and long-term career goals? Begin your essay with the sentence, "My career goal is to provide investment and business advice to the much more successful graduates of the Duke Law and Medical Schools."

Carnegie Mellon Tepper: Draw an ASCII picture of your favorite MIT student and list three things that business leaders can learn from MIT.

INSEAD: List the number of languages in which you are fluent, and explain how knowing a bunch of languages and studying in one of the world's slowest economies for ten months will make you an effective business leader.

CEIBS: Would you rather be upper middle class in the US, or rich in China? Pleeeeeeeease say rich in China!
Manager
Joined: 28 Apr 2013
Posts: 177
Concentration: Technology
Schools: Anderson '18 (M)
GMAT 1: 710 Q47 V40
WE: Information Technology (Internet and New Media)

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10 Mar 2015, 22:48
UCLA Anderson: Have you seen that show "The Hills?" Isn't it amazing? Discuss your strategies for getting into clubs to party with the cast of "The Hills" so you can feel important.

I would ace this essay, LIKE OMG, LIKE I TOTALLY would.
Intern
Joined: 04 Jul 2014
Posts: 23
GMAT 1: 730 Q49 V40
WE: Project Management (Energy and Utilities)

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11 Mar 2015, 07:00
INSEAD: List the number of languages in which you are fluent, and explain how knowing a bunch of languages and studying in one of the world's slowest economies for ten months will make you an effective business leader.

Love it
Retired Moderator
Status: And so it ends...
Joined: 03 Feb 2014
Posts: 575
Concentration: Strategy, Other
Schools: Johnson (Cornell) - Class of 2017
GMAT 1: 730 Q49 V40
GPA: 2.48
WE: Engineering (Other)

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11 Mar 2015, 08:51
Haha, this is pretty good. Gave me a good laugh on my lunch break
_________________
Director
Joined: 26 Aug 2014
Posts: 824
Concentration: Marketing
GPA: 3.4

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11 Mar 2015, 08:55
The only one I don't really get is

Wash U Olin: How early are you willing to wake up to serve coffee to our medical students?

Don't know much about the school - is that an inside joke?
Retired Moderator
Status: And so it ends...
Joined: 03 Feb 2014
Posts: 575
Concentration: Strategy, Other
Schools: Johnson (Cornell) - Class of 2017
GMAT 1: 730 Q49 V40
GPA: 2.48
WE: Engineering (Other)

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11 Mar 2015, 09:06
angelfire213 wrote:
The only one I don't really get is

Wash U Olin: How early are you willing to wake up to serve coffee to our medical students?

Don't know much about the school - is that an inside joke?

I'm guessing it's a little bit of an inside joke and that the coffee that is meant for the Olin students typically gets taken by the medical students.
_________________
Retired Moderator
Status: And so it ends...
Joined: 03 Feb 2014
Posts: 575
Concentration: Strategy, Other
Schools: Johnson (Cornell) - Class of 2017
GMAT 1: 730 Q49 V40
GPA: 2.48
WE: Engineering (Other)

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11 Mar 2015, 09:07
angelfire213 I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to move this topic to B-school Application. I think it'll be better served over there.
_________________
Manager
Joined: 08 Feb 2014
Posts: 199
Location: United States
Concentration: Finance
GMAT 1: 650 Q39 V41
WE: Analyst (Commercial Banking)

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11 Mar 2015, 09:14
Starbucks?
Current Student
Joined: 28 Apr 2014
Posts: 162
Location: United States (PA)
Concentration: General Management, Finance
GMAT 1: 730 Q48 V41
GPA: 3.93
WE: Corporate Finance (Energy and Utilities)

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11 Mar 2015, 09:23
Or more likely that Olin is overshadowed by UW's medical school, which is #1 in the US for primary care.
Manager
Joined: 24 Sep 2013
Posts: 53
Location: Viet Nam
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Marketing
GPA: 3.7
WE: Human Resources (Education)

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12 Mar 2015, 14:20
1
Ha ha, good stuff!
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Manager
Joined: 30 Oct 2011
Posts: 189

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16 Mar 2015, 00:25
hahaha this is brilliant
Current Student
Joined: 17 Jun 2014
Posts: 78
Location: India
GMAT 1: 720 Q50 V38
GMAT 2: 740 Q50 V40
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20 Mar 2015, 01:08
LOL...i m using this for the first time on this forum... one needs to get usual bouts of laugh on GC ..btw where you lay your hands on on such on a info in a blog??
Director
Joined: 26 Aug 2014
Posts: 824
Concentration: Marketing
GPA: 3.4

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20 Mar 2015, 04:31
i can't even remember which - and btw i think you have your schools listed wrong - if you're applying this year then you should be '18 not '16
Vinitkhicha1111 wrote:
LOL...i m using this for the first time on this forum... one needs to get usual bouts of laugh on GC ..btw where you lay your hands on on such on a info in a blog??
Non-Human User
Joined: 01 Oct 2013
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03 Oct 2018, 23:23
Hello from the GMAT Club MBAbot!

Thanks to another GMAT Club member, I have just discovered this valuable topic, yet it had no discussion for over a year. I am now bumping it up - doing my job. I think you may find it valuable (esp those replies with Kudos).

Want to see all other topics I dig out? Follow me (click follow button on profile). You will receive a summary of all topics I bump in your profile area as well as via email.
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# All Business School essays decoded

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