lgcat wrote:
Hello, I am trying to study for the GMAT and did my first time practice for AWA. Could you please give any advice you have and what it would be scored? I do know that it is short.
“In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart’s Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960’s, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Café, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners ofthe new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.”
This argument, while making several valid points, does not fully justify this argument. The author states that because Heart's Delight is now selling cheeses made with high butterfat content and that the owners of House of Beef are millionaires, people must be eating more red meat and fatty cheeses. There are several flaws in this argument, including a change in the area, other incomes and what each store and restaurant has to offer.
First, comparing the living of both the owners of Good Earth Cafe and House of Beef does not actually tell us if they are making money only from these restaurants. It doesn't give or compare any information about the quality and price of the restaurants or if there any other locations.
The second flaw in this argument is that we do not know any more about Heart's Delights sales. The author fails to give the reader more information if they are still selling fruits and vegetables or now just a wide selection of cheeses.
The third and final flaw in this arguement is we don't know the rest of the shopping and restaurant opportunities in the area. People may have always been buying this much red meat and fatty cheese, just at different locations. As another shop closes, Heart's Delight may have seen another opportunity in the market and added a high selection of cheeses to their store. The new House of Beef restaurant may be popularity due to it's recent opening and people's excitment to try it.
While understandable how the author drew their conclusion, they still do not justify their arguement. They include several flaws, such as lack of details behind their beliefs.
write more in last paragraph, your conclusion is too short.