Let's do it..let's meet in Greenwich Village over yonder
I can see how it plays out:
lagomez: Sons of The Consortium, I am lagomez.
all the applicants well then say: lagomez is 7 feet tall.
lagomez: Yes, I've heard. sends in applications by the hundreds, and if the admission committees were here he'd consume them with fireballs from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse. I AM lagomez. And I see a whole army of my fellow applicants here in defiance of the diversity day. You have come to fight as free applicants, and free applicants you are. What would you do without a fellowship? Will you fight?
other applicants: Fight? Against that? No, we will run; and we will apply somewhere else.
lagomez: Aye, fight and you may accepted. Run and you'll live -- at least a while before another ding. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance to get into your favorite Consortium school, just one chance to come back here and tell our future Consortium applicants that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our application fees!!!
lagomez and applicants: Alba gu bra! (Consortium forever!)