https://gmatclub.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/2015-06-16_19-29-30-150x150.png By Adam Hoff, Amerasia Consulting Group This is a post I write basically every year because it comes from what I'm seeing each round, every day, on basically every application. That drum beat is really rigid, hard-to-read Why School X sections on essays. I give the same note to every single client so now I'm giving it to everybody: the simplest and most important thing you can do to improve your Why School X portion of career goals essay is to personalize any and all content. This is a great way to avoid writing something off-putting, as well as a quick and easy method for making your essays warmer, more personal, and easier to connect with. So, what do I mean by "personalizing" this part of the app? Simple: make anything you write about the school specific to you, your experience, your desires, or what you require from a program. Never just state absolutes, generalities, or even known truths and facts - always make them personally-held viewpoints. Examples are the best way to understand this (after the jump): Example #1 GOOD - "I am seeking an intense MBA experience, which is why INSEAD is my top choice." BAD - "INSEAD is one of the most intense MBA programs in the world." WHY - The first sentence is a statement about what you want (an intense experience), which is used as justification for pursuing the school. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong in your assessment, so long as you believe it and can then base a decision on that belief. Whereas in the second sentence, you are simply stating a fact. There are multiple problems with this: A) you might be wrong, B) even if you are right it might sound lecturing (which can irritate a reader who is far more of an expert on the subject than you are), or C) even if you are right and the reader is not mildly irritated, you still miss a chance to express something about you. Anything in any essay that doesn't tell the reader more about you, your world, and what you want is wasted space. Example #2 Good - "One thing that drew me to Duke right away was the small class size, which has always been the ideal setting for me to grow and learn." BAD - "Small class sizes are the best way to learn, which is why I love Duke." WHY - This one has a wrinkle, which is that the "bad" sentence sort of seems to personalize the statement with the "why I love Duke" part. The problem is that the revelation is still not based on a personal belief, but rather a statement of fact. Indeed, this statement of fact is even more egregious than the INSEAD statement above because it's offering up as concrete fact something that is highly debatable. Maybe large classes are the best way to learn. Maybe it's online. Maybe it's one-on-one. Who are you to say? Who am I to say? None of us are experts in the sphere of ideal learning models, so this just sounds completely arrogant. Whereas in the "good" example, we see that it's simply a personal preference that is the basis for further interest in Duke. I could go on and on and write 10 examples, but two is probably enough. The main thing is to read every single sentence you write about a program and make sure that it's always personal - told from your perspective, your opinion, your beliefs, and your desires. If it dissolves into "brochure writing" - just statements of fact, no matter how benign or flattering to the school - there is zero upside and plenty of downside. It's a small thing, but we see it crop up in probably 90% of the essays we read, so it's obviously a fairly widespread problem. And while it may not be the entire difference between being admitted or denied, it can definitely be the difference between getting a good or a bad read of your file. And in our experience, *that* is often the difference between being admitted or denied. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you are interested in making sure your essays are personalized (as well as everything else they need to be), hit us up at mba@amerasiaconsulting.com .

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Why I chose INSEAD over my other B-School offer

As I prepare to face my year at INSEAD, I’m reflecting on the journey that led to this very moment: starting from the decision of applying to an MBA, to the whole application process and ultimately the decision of going... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: This MBA program might actually be for you!

The first time I ever heard of an MBA program was when I was 13 and my brother was showing me around his University. “There’s the Teacher’s College. And there’s the law school – many top lawyers come out of... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Fonty ’18J: it’s finally about to begin!

I’m a bit late to the party myself, but it’s been great reading some of the introductory blog posts from my fellow classmates the last few days; I can’t wait to meet you all from tomorrow! It feels surreal to... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: So You Quit Your Job to Live Life as a B-School Partner for the next year… Now What?

After hours of discussions and careful consideration, you’ve quit your job and will join your B-Schooler on a journey. “Do I stay or do I go?”—it’s a question that goes through everyone’s mind when their significant other gets accepted into... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: The Business Foundations Programme – Quant Demystified!

As a liberal arts major, I’ve always lived with a massive phobia of numbers. But business is all about numbers – if you can’t understand them, you literally can’t manage a firm. And more pressingly, with the influx of... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Life Is A Jungle Gym

“It’s a jungle gym, not a ladder… There’s only one way to get to the top of a ladder, but there are many ways to get to the top of a jungle gym.” ― Sheryl Sandberg, Lean In I read... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: My First Day in Fonty

I had moved from Paris to Fontainebleau mid-July, yet it took me two whole weeks before my first real day as a Fonty resident. First of all because the moving was quite hectic, as I did five trips between... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Definitely not the wrong room – Welcome class of 18J

Week 1 of our INSEAD journey is in the books, class of July 2018 is officially in session and I am already struggling to synthesize my thoughts, impressions and emotions. I could go on for many paragraphs, from the inspiring... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Come to INSEAD to promote Business as a Force for Good

When I first thought of doing an MBA, one of the first people I spoke to was a friend from the class of ’15D at INSEAD. She was so excited that I had decided to pursue an MBA and... Continue Reading →

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31 Aug 2017, 03:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: WFP in Uganda: Shifting Role From Charity to Private Sector Catalyst

This summer I was lucky to get an opportunity to intern with World Food Programme in Kampala, the capital of Uganda. It was my first time in Sub-Saharan Africa: vaccination, difficult conversation with family and full luggage of ammunition against... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Why you shouldn’t talk to your friends

Excited, optimistic and slightly naïve I arrived in Johannesburg, South Africa to work on my summer project to deliver world class, affordable healthcare. Last 6 months of INSEAD have been a wild rollercoaster, and the two summer months are a... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Impact and Consulting

A surprising start I came to INSEAD with the goal of consolidating my skills as a Consultant and at the same time explore new sectors and expand my horizons. So when I saw the job post published by ASTI and... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: And Liftoff

I’m a week into the programme and I already need to catch my breath. What an experience! Inspiring lectures, meetings with high profile alums, trips to Paris, group work, soul searching, and some refreshing beverages in between it all. We are... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: PLDP Purposeful Leadership Depends on Peers

INSEAD has just introduced a Personal Leadership Development Programme (PLDP) to their curriculum. The decision was made after collecting feedback from employers and I must admit, a convincing argument in choosing this Business School. The kick-off took place a couple... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Dignified and affordable housing: People Pods

The mission of PeoplePods is to provide dignified and affordable housing to low-income workers. The Southeast Asian economy is booming. However, worsening traffic and the lack of affordable housing in industrial and commercial areas force low-income workers to spend... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Why you should meet INSEAD’s Exit Language requirement as early as possible

INSEAD’s language policy requires all students to speak at least three languages. In cases in which English is not the native language, these three languages will be: 1 – Your native language 2 – English (called by INSEAD the “entry... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Traditionally Speaking

In 2011, then Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke sat opposite Republican Congressman Ron Paul at the Financial Services Committee semi-annual review. At one point, Representative Paul prompted Mr. Bernanke, “The price of gold today is fifteen hundred and eighty dollars…when... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Happily Divorced at 31!

Fifteen months ago, on June 7, 2016, I divorced my best friend of 10 years and husband of 2 years. I spent the next two weeks sitting on a seafoam green couch, staring at the half-empty, one-bedroom apartment on Michigan... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Love What You Do/Do What You Love

Let me tell you about George Eddy (summarized from a New York Times Article). Eddy was raised in Orlando, FL by a partly paralyzed American farther and a blind French mother. He was obsessed with all things basketball. That... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: My MBA internhip with Agastya – one of the largest non-profits in India

Before coming to INSEAD in January 2017, as I was preparing for a year filled with extraordinary experiences, I made a promise to myself – This is the year to be brave, to think about the long term, and to... Continue Reading →