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06 Jul 2019, 09:05
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This was the prompt: "The producers of the forthcoming movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it - even though that amount is far more than any other person involved with the movie will make. After all, Robin has in the past been paid a similar amount to work in several films that were very financially successful."
This was the essay I wrote in ~24 mins: "The argument makes the case that by hiring Robin Good for several million dollars that the movie in development will be a commercial success and maximize profits. Though the argument is compelling at face value, the author fails to consider a multitude of logic issues. Specifically, the author fails to address or review other characteristics of Robin Good's prior work.
One item the author fails to consider is that Robin's co-stars may have been of much higher quality in his prior work compared to this film. This is notable as the author informs us that his co-stars in this movie will be paid significantly less than him. The author could have strengthened his argument if he had provided support that in prior movies Robin's co-stars were similarly compensated.
Additionally, the author fails to provide information of who the movie’s director is. Directors of movies have outsized influence in the success or failure of a movie. One example of this is the Avatar movie which collected billions of dollars at the box office. The films actors, while talented, were rarely mentioned as to why the movie was so successful. Most of the credit went to the director, James Cameron. The author should have provided us information as to who directed Robin's prior films and who they planned to direct this film.
Finally, the author fails to consider the quality of the movie's script. There are numerous examples of movies with tremendous star power, but were commercially unsuccessful due to poor movie scripts. Even the most talented actors cannot create a great movie if the lines they are provided are of poor quality.
In summary, the author's argument rests on circumstantial evidence at best. The fact that Robin Good has been paid significant sums in prior movies has a weak correlation to the commercial success of the movie. The author could have strengthened the argument by providing the information previously discussed. Given this fact pattern, it seems unlikely that paying Robin Good millions of dollars will maximize their profits."
- Is 337 words enough to get a high score?
- Is the essay above high enough quality to get a high score?
This was the essay I wrote in ~24 mins: "The argument makes the case that by hiring Robin Good for several million dollars that the movie in development will be a commercial success and maximize profits. Though the argument is compelling at face value, the author fails to consider a multitude of logic issues. Specifically, the author fails to address or review other characteristics of Robin Good's prior work.
One item the author fails to consider is that Robin's co-stars may have been of much higher quality in his prior work compared to this film. This is notable as the author informs us that his co-stars in this movie will be paid significantly less than him. The author could have strengthened his argument if he had provided support that in prior movies Robin's co-stars were similarly compensated.
Additionally, the author fails to provide information of who the movie’s director is. Directors of movies have outsized influence in the success or failure of a movie. One example of this is the Avatar movie which collected billions of dollars at the box office. The films actors, while talented, were rarely mentioned as to why the movie was so successful. Most of the credit went to the director, James Cameron. The author should have provided us information as to who directed Robin's prior films and who they planned to direct this film.
Finally, the author fails to consider the quality of the movie's script. There are numerous examples of movies with tremendous star power, but were commercially unsuccessful due to poor movie scripts. Even the most talented actors cannot create a great movie if the lines they are provided are of poor quality.
In summary, the author's argument rests on circumstantial evidence at best. The fact that Robin Good has been paid significant sums in prior movies has a weak correlation to the commercial success of the movie. The author could have strengthened the argument by providing the information previously discussed. Given this fact pattern, it seems unlikely that paying Robin Good millions of dollars will maximize their profits."
- Is 337 words enough to get a high score?
- Is the essay above high enough quality to get a high score?
06 Jul 2019, 10:05
Kudos
Bookmarks
jfarvin
This was the prompt: "The producers of the forthcoming movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it - even though that amount is far more than any other person involved with the movie will make. After all, Robin has in the past been paid a similar amount to work in several films that were very financially successful."
This was the essay I wrote in ~24 mins: "The argument makes the case that, by hiring Robin Good for several million dollarsthat, the movie in development will be a commercial success and maximize profits (of maximum profit). Though the argument is compelling at face value, the author fails to consider a multitude of logic issues. Specifically, the author fails to address or review other characteristics of Robin Good's prior work.
Oneitem (point, gap) the author fails to consider is that Robin's co-stars may have been of much higher quality in his prior work compared to this film. This is notable as the author informs us that his co-stars in this movie will be paid significantly less than him. The author could have strengthened his argument if he had provided support that in prior movies Robin's co-stars were similarly compensated.
Additionally, the author fails to provide information of who the movie’s director is. Directors of movies have outsized influencein (on) the success or failure of a movie. One example of this is the Avatar movie which (that) collected billions of dollars at the box office. The films actors, while talented, were rarely mentioned as to why the movie was so successful. Most of the credit went to the director, James Cameron. The author should have provided us information as to (not idiomatic. better use: about/on) who directed Robin's prior films and who they (they refers to what?) planned (plan) to direct this film.
Finally, the author fails to consider (repeated several times, you have to show more vocabulary) the quality of the movie's script. There are numerous examples of movies with tremendous star power, but were commercially unsuccessfuldue to (due to should modify a noun, and unsuccessful is an adjective - because of is better) poor movie scripts. Even the most talented actors cannot create a great movie if the lines they are provided are of poor quality.
In summary, the author's argument rests on circumstantial evidence at best. The fact that Robin Good has been paid significant sums in prior movies has a weak correlation to the commercial success of the movie. The author could have strengthened the argument by providing the information previously discussed. Given this fact pattern, it seems unlikely that paying Robin Good millions of dollars will maximize their (their refers to who in the sentence?) profits."
- Is 337 words enough to get a high score?
- Is the essay above high enough quality to get a high score?
This was the essay I wrote in ~24 mins: "The argument makes the case that, by hiring Robin Good for several million dollars
One
Additionally, the author fails to provide information of who the movie’s director is. Directors of movies have outsized influence
Finally, the author fails to consider (repeated several times, you have to show more vocabulary) the quality of the movie's script. There are numerous examples of movies with tremendous star power, but were commercially unsuccessful
In summary, the author's argument rests on circumstantial evidence at best. The fact that Robin Good has been paid significant sums in prior movies has a weak correlation to the commercial success of the movie. The author could have strengthened the argument by providing the information previously discussed. Given this fact pattern, it seems unlikely that paying Robin Good millions of dollars will maximize their (their refers to who in the sentence?) profits."
- Is 337 words enough to get a high score?
- Is the essay above high enough quality to get a high score?
Hi jfarvin
yes, 337 is enough (300-450 is a good range), and yes, the essay can get high score.
about the quality:
1- identifying the gaps and attacking them was excellent.
2- you spend lots of words to illustrate your examples.
3- I have small comments on the structure of the sentences and grammar (redundancy, prepositions,pronouns,... and other things we learn from SC)
(to tackle this, prepare a template for yourself to save your time and effort in the exam. here is an example of what I mean: https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6-0-awa-my-guide-64327.html#p470475)
06 Jul 2019, 11:33
Kudos
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Thank you Mahmoudfawzy83. It was very helpful to have someone take a look at this. It was my first attempt so I'm happy to see I won't have to spend much time writing practice essays. Again, thank you very much! Hopefully my kudos help.
