Motivation and self destructive behaviour.

Question

As a 33 M stuck in a dead end job (10Y) , getting a MBA sorta feels like the escape . It has felt like that to me a couple of times in the last 2years. 
But just when i begin to pick up some steam my self destuctive behaviour kicks in. I scroll through the admission pages of colleges and students who 
have been admitted only to realise what an inadequate profile i have, one that doesnt compare to the lovely people on here. That just murders my motivation and i go into a spiral looking at other colleges cutoffs , Avg fees, salaries etc and asking myself whether id be able to afford the fees , whether it even makes sense given the ROI and so on . I then go back to the stupid job and the comfort it offers and try to avoid the anxiety that this process brings. 
 
I understand its a mental thing and i wouldnt know how my profile stacks up until after i give the exam , but yeah studying without motivaton feels like dragging yourself through quicksand. Im sure there are other people on here that feel the same way , how do you do it ? Any tips ?

bb · Answer

I’m sorry to hear about the situation. You’re finding yourself in. This is definitely hard and I’m glad you reaching out and trying to find answers.

The bottom line is that you have to have the motivation. Some of these issues come from chemical, imbalance, or depression, or lack of focus or ADHD. Perhaps something to consider seeing a specialist about just to rule it out.

But all of it comes down to having motivation to put in the work and focus to stay on target for a pretty long period of time. Applications is a rigorous process. And many of us had no other options, and we preferred studying for the GMAT and that pain versus what we were dealing with on a daily basis at work.

PS. Oh, maybe you don’t mind the status quo in your current situation. Ultimately, you have to want the change badly enough to endure the pain of the change.

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MBACrystalBall · Answer

What you're feeling isn't uncommon. There are countless professionals going through the same turmoil and trapping themselves in their thought process.

Most would keep their thoughts to themselves for the fear of being judged. Kudos to you for reaching out and sharing your story.

BB has already shared several ideas for you to think about. Here are a few more.

Your anxiety (if it is not triggered by any medical condition) probably originates from the high-stakes game that the MBA journey entails. It's just your gut-feel telling you to be careful.

If the entire prospect of taking a big leap sounds intimidating, you don't have to push yourself.

Try out other smaller and less risky ideas to test the waters - like free / short courses, volunteering, trying out a small business independently.

That'll give you reason to be happy and something to look forward to, other than your 9 to 5 job.

Hope you find the answers you're looking for.

And do get the medical angle sorted out at the earliest, to ensure there isn't a bigger underlying issue.

Good luck, buddy!

Motivation and self destructive behaviour.

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