Hello everyone, A simple question regarding AWA section on the GMAT. Are we allowed to cite fictious examples? Can we then relate them with the situation present in the Argument. For instance, lets take a sample statement from 1st essay in GMAT published list of Analysis of argument essays. Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. This statement rests on the gratuitous assumption that “long experience” has taught the organization to do things better. There is however, no guarantee that this is the case. Now, can we cite a fictious example here, of say an organization Y that has achieved decline in cost processing during a period of couple of months? After this example, can we elaborate that since organization Y has achieved decline in cost processing in few months the author initial statement is flawed ? Please help me out with this confusion. Thanks in advance.

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Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations

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rajvirxoxo

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“Over time the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In colour film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5 inch print fell from 59 cents for five day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympian Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

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25 May 2021, 11:51

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Hi all

Please review the below essay. Need Genuine suggestions.
Thanks
==========================================================
The following appeared in an article in a health–and–fitness magazine:

“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”

==========================================================
The argument above states that studies from the laboratory show that Saluda natural Spring water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. It also states that residents of Saluda ,where the water is bottled are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. It concludes by saying that even though the Saluda Natural spring water may seem expensive ,drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health . As per my understanding this argument is flawed for a number of reasons , which we we will be discussing below

Firstly, the studies state that the water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health. Linking those minerals directly to better health or less hospitalization is not correct. No where they have stated a strong reason or proof which confirms that only because of these minerals being present in the water people are less hospitalized. There might be another factors which would have reduced the number of visits to hospital. Even if more number people can't afford hospital fees it would show a reduction in cases. Even if people improve their life standards and the quality of life, they may fell less sick and the visits would reduce. We might have seen less cases reported but we don't know whether the actual cases have reduced or the reported cases have reduced. The studies claim that the water is bacteria free. Good or bad bacteria isn't proved in the study .We might have lost some good bacteria too. Bacteria which might be required for the human body and the only source of getting that bacteria into the body might be through water.

Secondly the argument assumes that people of Saluda drink spring water in place of tap water . How do we know this? We just know that the spring water is bottled. Do we have any evidence or data showing the number of folks consuming spring water? We also don't know if the spring water is completely owned by the bottling company or not. If it is then there is no way of getting the water free of cost. People have to buy them. There is no proof that water is being consumed by residents. There might be a possibility that the company might be providing them bottles at a subsidized price but again why should someone pay an amount when tap water is accessible free of cost unless we have a valid reason to use spring water for drinking purposes. These assumptions are just baseless.

In conclusion I feel the study and the analysis still needs more research. They need to gather rock solid evidence in support of their claims. Fake claims if proved someday might destroy the company's image. Strong research along with proper data can help in supporting the claim and even make the product a super hit in the market.

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27 May 2021, 07:22

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Until the experts approach on this post here is my response. I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6!

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5

The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good luck

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Can somebody please review my response-

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

Response

The argument that the price of production reduces over a period of time considers improvement in technical know how as the only parameter that dictates pricing. However, in reality, the cost of productions may be linked to various key elements like availability of raw material, cost of labour, infrastructure, storage, transportation, marketing and so on. A shortage or increase in cost of any of these parameters would have a direct impact on the pricing of the end product.

The argument makes a rather illogical comparison between the cost of food processing with the cost of film processing depite the two being very different industries that involve unrelated processes, raw materials and scale of operation. It does not mention anything regarding what led to the reduction in th prices for film processing. It could be possible that the industry saw rapid technological advancement but the same did not happen to the food processing industry and they still operate on traditional knowledge. A more elaborate explanation of how the cost of two industries are related and what factirs affect them would make this argument sound realistic

Further, author further tries to assert that 25 years of experience in food industry would help Olympic foods minimize cost and maximize profit. However, he does not mention anything regarding the plan of action to reduce the cost of processing. 25 years is a long period and what worked in the past might not work today considering.

The argument misses out on explaining key factors involved in cost of food processing and how the company plans to act on the pain points thus making the claim dubious. Including more information about these would make the argument more convincing.

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29 May 2021, 07:03

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RG95

Can somebody please review my response-

The argument that the price of production reduces over a period of time considers improvement in technical know how as the only parameter that dictates pricing. However, in reality, the cost of productions may be linked to various key elements like availability of raw material, cost of labour, infrastructure, storage, transportation, marketing and so on. A shortage or increase in cost of any of these parameters would have a direct impact on the pricing of the end product.

The argument makes a rather illogical comparison between the cost of food processing with the cost of film processing depite the two being very different industries that involve unrelated processes, raw materials and scale of operation. It does not mention anything regarding what led to the reduction in th prices for film processing. It could be possible that the industry saw rapid technological advancement but the same did not happen to the food processing industry and they still operate on traditional knowledge. A more elaborate explanation of how the cost of two industries are related and what factirs affect them would make this argument sound realistic

Further, author further tries to assert that 25 years of experience in food industry would help Olympic foods minimize cost and maximize profit. However, he does not mention anything regarding the plan of action to reduce the cost of processing. 25 years is a long period and what worked in the past might not work today considering.

The argument misses out on explaining key factors involved in cost of food processing and how the company plans to act on the pain points thus making the claim dubious. Including more information about these would make the argument more convincing.

Hi RG95

Welcome to GMAT Club!

Is below the prompt your essay is based on?

“Laboratory studies show that Saluda Natural Spring Water contains several of the minerals necessary for good health and that it is completely free of bacteria. Residents of Saluda, the small town where the water is bottled, are hospitalized less frequently than the national average. Even though Saluda Natural Spring Water may seem expensive, drinking it instead of tap water is a wise investment in good health.”

Please make sure to add the prompt next time so the members can understand on what prompt you essay is based on.

Thank you

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Hi Sajjad1994

Apologies, I missed out on adding the prompt. My essay is based on the following prompt-

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

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30 May 2021, 09:19

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AWA Score: 5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 3.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of idea and expression from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analysed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs is evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocaubulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word-usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

RG95

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Sajjad1994 Requesting you to please review my AWA. I am writing GMAT on 22nd June 2021

Question

Quote:

The following appeared as part of a column in a popular entertainment magazine:

“The producers of the forthcoming movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it—even though that amount is far more than any other person involved with the movie will make. After all, Robin has in the past been paid a similar amount to work in several films that were very financially successful.”

My response:
The argument presented here, that is reportedly exerpted from a popular entertainment magazine, reaches a quick conclusion, skipping basic assessment and essential information. Thus, the argument is too flawed to provide any insight to the reader.

In the argument, the author states that paying millions of dollars to Robin Good to star in the movie 3003, an amount far more than any other person involved with the movie, will most likely result in the producers earning maximum profits possible from the project. The reason quoted is that paying such an amount to Robin Good in the past has resulted in financially successful projects. Here, the author has clearly misinterpreted the cause and effect case for the successful projects. While there is no denying that the star actor has a significant impact on the financial success of a project, there could be various other factors behind it. These may include, but are not limited to, storyline, clear target group, cinemetography, script, acting by other actors. Clearly, there must have been some impact of these parameters in the previous financially successful proejcts, in which Robin Good started. The influence of these factors in the financial successes of Robin Good, good or bad or negligible, has not been provided in the argument at all. This makes this conclusion unconvincing.

Apart from an unconvincing analysis, the author has not attempted to confirm the validation of payments made to Robin Good in the earlier projects. Generally, neither the producer nor the actor is willing to disclose the amount in media. So such infomation is likely to come via any internal contact, a movie enthusiast, a cinema analyst who analyses cases, statements and other details associated with the industry, or someone else. It is the responsibility of the reporter to validate the authencity of such reports. The lack of any attempt to validate the same, or even the mention of the synonyms of the word 'validate', makes the information presented here hard to accept. While this is also possible that a responsible stakeloder, going against the trend, might have disclosed the amount Robin Good was paid, the mention of the same in the argument is important to weighten the argument.

There are numerous examples from the cinema industry that weaken the conclusion presented in the argument. One of them is, clearly, a recent movie of the Kollywood Superstar Mr. Rajnikant. Mr. Rajnikant has been a superstar in his industry for decades, and has been receiving hefty amounts for his performances. However, his recent movie, despite him playing a lead role, failed to replicate the magic most of his previous movies had shown. This is a glaring example, out of many, to show that the argument presented here might not face the tide of time.

Overall, the argument presented here, for the lack of authenticity and analysis, does not look more than a printed rumour. The argument may not add any value to the reader. Rather, it may have an ill effect on the reputation of the magazine. The editor must make sure that such flawed reports do not make to the final print of the magazine.

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21 Jun 2021, 03:26

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AWA Score: 4.5-5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 2.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

adityaganjoo

Sajjad1994 Requesting you to please review my AWA. I am writing GMAT on 22nd June 2021

Question

Quote:

ashx

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Hi Sajjad1994, please review my AWA

The following appeared as part of an article in a magazine devoted to regional life:
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”

Response:

The author of the argument claims that corporations should look to Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. The author provides a handful of reasons to support his or her claim, however, the author's argument is flawed. Some of the key issues with the argument are outlined below.

First and foremost, the author states that during the recent recession, Helios’ unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. This argument is flawed as the author is merely benchmarking the unemployment rate against the regional average. The author does not provide any information on whether the regional average was lower, at par or higher than the trends on a national level. This information can play a huge role for a corporation seeking new business opportunities or a new location. In case, the regional average is significantly lower than the national average, this would not be an attractive proposition for a corporation.

Second, the author states that Helios is the industrial center of the region and has historically provided a large share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. The author assumes that a historical trend will continue to exist in the future. The author fails to shed light on the current trends and future forecasts. This argument fails to account for the possibility of a significant deviation in future trends.

Third, the author suggests that Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. The author does not provide sufficient information of what steps the city is taking to attract new companies and furthermore, the author does not provide any information on whether these attempts by Helios have been successful. This information would play a significant role in the argument.

To conclude, the author has failed to provide clear and essential information to support the argument and assumes that past trends will hold good in the future. The author should focus on providing information about the national average of unemployment rates, future trends and actionable steps taken by the city of Helios to attract new corporations.

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24 Jun 2021, 08:38

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AWA Score: 5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

ashx

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Hi,
Please evaluate my essay. This is the first AWA essay that I have written.

Prompt:
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen
foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become
more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day
service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And
since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to
minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

My essay:
The following argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Primarily, because of the ambiguity in the statement and because they have cited an example from a completely different industry – film processing, which is not at all similar to the food processing industry.
Firstly, the very ambiguous first statement of the argument states that, “over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient.” This statement does not provide any clarity on what are these “things” are that the company is doing in a better way. And, they haven’t justified this “better”. Is this the betterment in the technology used in production or the decrease in the wastage production or the improvement in the labor skills with time? It is not clear what they have improved in order for the costs to be reduced.
Secondly, they have stated an example of the film processing industry which is not related to the food processing in any aspect. Hence, the development and enhancement of the film processing cannot justify that the same will occur for the food processing. Thus, the same principle of cost reduction and profit maximization over time of the film processing cannot be correlated to the food processing.
Furthermore, the statement stating that their long experience will minimize costs is not justified in the argument. What things they have changed or improved over the period of 25 years that can lead to cost reduction and thus profit maximization is mentioned anywhere in the argument. Thus, weakening the argument significantly.
Lastly, the argument can be strengthened by citing an example from the food processing industry instead of some completely unrelated industry and, by providing quantification for the efficiency, costs, and profit.
In conclusion, because the argument makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make a convincing case that Olympic Foods will minimize costs and increase their profits.

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16 Jul 2021, 01:12

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Welcome to GMAT Club!

AWA Score: 5 out of 6!

I have used a GMATAWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 4/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

Good Luck

For your next AWA post please follow the AWA forum posting rules to get your essay evaluated.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Read the rules here: https://gmatclub.com/forum/awa-forum-ru ... 64141.html

Best

saumyap

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Hey Guys, this is my first attempt at the AWA part of the GMAT.
Could someone please try to review my essay.

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods: “Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

The report talks about the expectation of rising profits of the Olympic foods company, a processor of frozen foods. The author assumes a bold conclusion, which is based on several logical flaws such as far-reaching assumptions, comparing apples to oranges, and mistakes of cause and effect.

The evidence cited involves the assumption that the cost of processing will go down because the organization learns to do things better over time and it becomes more efficient. This is only true however when there is a significant investment in research and development. If the author would list how the processing workflow has improved in recent years the argument would be able to hold its ground. The presumption that a business automatically improves over time is simply flawed.

The report also cites the example of falling prices within the color film processing industry. Which is just the same as comparing apples to oranges. The food industry and the film industry are two industries that both fall on the other side of the spectrum, therefore comparing them with each other does not provide any solid evidence. It would be more advantageous to compare similar industries and analyze why they became more efficient.

Having presented such questionable evidence, the report then draws a sweeping conclusion that because the company will soon celebrate its 25th birthday it will minimize costs and maximize profits. The age of an organization cannot be taken as a guarantee that it will succeed. It is entirely possible that the company in its 25th year is on the brink of collapse. Evidence that the enterprise has a strong record and has been improving profits every year or lowering it’s would enormously strengthen the argument.

The report is neither sound nor persuasive. The reporter has failed to convey any compelling expectations for the Olympic frozen foods organization.

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03 Feb 2022, 00:11

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Welcome to GMAT Club!

AWA Score: 4 - 4.5 out of 6

I have used a GMAT AWA auto-grader to evaluate your essay.

Coherence and connectivity: 5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 4/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 2.5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

The following AWA guides are recommended for a score of 6.

https://gmatclub.com/forum/the-gmatclub ... 36251.html

https://gmatclub.com/forum/how-to-get-6 ... 64327.html

Good Luck

GreyRift

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Hello,

Could you please evaluate my essay? Thanks in advance.

Answer:

The author of the report claims that Olympic Foods will soon minimize costs and, thus, maximize profits, thanks to its long experience rooting from its 25 years of operations. In order to support this claim, the author asserts that as organizations learn how to do thing better, they improve their efficiency, and so the cost of processing goes down. To illustrate that, he mentions how color film processing has become more cost-efficient and that the same will apply for food processing. The argument’s conclusion is based on several assumptions whose validity is questionable and which render the argument unconvincing.

First of all, the report states that a principle that holds true for color processing, improvement in cost efficiency as time passes, applies in food processing as well. This claim is not supported by any evidence. In order for this principle to apply to both color and food processing, they must share the same characteristics that are relevant to cost efficiencies. Such characteristics could be their dependence on new technologies, the technologies’ evolution in the respective fields, the availability of skilled human capital etc. Had the author included information regarding how food and color processing are similar, one would be in a better position to evaluate this analogy and the validity of the conclusion.

In addition, the author insists on his belief that as organizations get older, they gain more experience and, thus, become more efficient. While there may be some correlation between the age of an organization and the experience it accumulates, the former does not necessitate the latter. If that were true, then all older organizations would outperform their younger competitors, at least in terms of cost-efficiencies. Even if Olympic Foods has some experience thanks to its long-term operations, this experience might as well end up useless if the industry is evolving with a pace that Olympic Foods cannot adopt to.

Lastly, the report concludes that Olympic Foods can minimize costs, which will maximize profits. Even if Olympic Foods achieves minimal costs, profits consist of both revenues and costs. The report should provide information about both in order to assess whether profits will be maximized.

To sum up, the report fails to address the aforementioned key factors, which are important to draw the conclusion stated. Hence, the report as it stands is unconvincing. Surely, more evidence about how food processing is similar to color processing, what particular experience Olympic Foods has gained throughout its operations and how revenues are evolving would be useful to better evaluate the validity of the report’s conclusion.

Sajjad1994

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04 May 2022, 09:08

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AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 4.5/5
This rating corresponds to the flow of ideas and expressions from one paragraph to another. The effective use of connectives and coherence of assertive language in arguing for/against the argument is analyzed. This is deemed as one of the most important parameters.

Paragraph structure and formation: 3/5
The structure and division of the attempt into appropriate paragraphs are evaluated. To score well on this parameter, it is important to organize the attempt into paragraphs. Preferable to follow the convention of leaving a line blank at the end of each paragraph, to make the software aware of the structure of the essay.

Vocabulary and word expression: 5/5
This parameter rates the submitted essay on the range of relevant vocabulary possessed by the candidate basis the word and expression usage. There are no extra- points for bombastic word usage. Simple is the best form of suave!

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23 Apr 2023, 09:24

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Hi! Could you please evaluate my essay below? Thanks in advance!!

# # #

The annual report of Olympic Foods argues that the company will reduce costs and increase profits through improved efficiencies. However, the reasoning presented is based on flawled arguments that are not sufficient to justify the expected outcome and will be discussed below. First, we’ll evaluate if it’s valid to compare the food processing and film industries. Then, we’ll explore how multiple arguments of cause and effect don’t show suficcient logic support. Finally, we’ll discuss the lack of specificity in the expected results presented by the company.

Olympic Foods argues that it’ll achieve a similar cost reduction in its products as did the film industry from 1970 to 1984. This comparisson is flawled since the two industries have significant structural differences. For instance, the food processing industry is less technological based, has different productive processes and faces more competition than does the film industry. These are factors that make the comparison between the two industries incoherent.

Another kind of flawled argument brought in multiple instances by Olympic Foods is weak associations of cause and effect. First, the company suggests that the great cost reduction observed in the film industry was all due to efficiencies improvements, disregarding that it could be associated to other factors like technological ou supply chain improvements. Second, it assumes that the cost reduction is merely based on time passage, not accounting for the specific acitivities needed to result in cost reduction. Finally, it argues that the company’s 25th anniversary will result in cost reductions without linking it actual activities that may cause the expected result.

Finally, the company argues that it’ll be able to “minimize costs and maximizes profits” without giving the reader an specific perspective of the expected results. Thus, the prediction would be true even at minimal changes in cost and profits that wouldn’t be meaningful for an investor.

In conclusion, Olympic Foods argues the company will be able to improve its costs and profits but doesn’t show sufficient information to support this claim. In order to provide its investors with a better perspective on its financial prediction, Olympic Food should clarify the drivers of the cost reduction, which actions have been taken in recent periods to enable the cost reduction and profits improvements, and specificy by how much they expect it to change.

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23 Apr 2023, 21:34

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AWA Score: 5.5 - 6 out of 6

Coherence and connectivity: 5/6
The essay provides a clear and logical structure that is easy to follow. The arguments are presented in a coherent way, and there is a good use of transitional words to connect different ideas. However, in a few places, the language could be more concise to improve clarity.

Word structure: 6/6
The essay uses a range of sentence structures effectively, and the language is generally precise and concise. There are no major issues with word choice or usage.

Paragraph structure and formation: 6/6
The essay is well-structured, with each paragraph addressing a specific point related to the argument. The paragraphs are clearly separated, and the essay flows smoothly.

Language and Grammar: 6/6
The language and grammar are excellent. The essay is well-written, and there are no major issues with grammar, punctuation, or spelling.

Vocabulary and word expression: 5.5/6
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary, and the word choice is generally appropriate. However, there are a few instances where simpler language could have been used to improve clarity.

Overall, the essay is well-written, with clear arguments and a logical structure. The language is generally precise and concise, with no major issues with grammar or vocabulary.

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25 Apr 2023, 06:59

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Can someone please help me review my essay. My first attempt at AWA
=============== TOPIC ====================
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:

“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”

=============== ESSAY ====================

Quote:

According to above argument, Olympic Foods has claimed that they will be minimizing costs and maximizing profits by the time they celebrate their 25th birthday. The above argument by the organisation is based upon multiple assumptions and has a high probability to fail.

Firstly, the annual report claims that the cost of processing goes down over time for organisations. The argument does not present any quantitative data to back up this phenomenon. Further, even if the processing costs do come down over time, if the sales volume fall, profitability may still get reduced.

Secondly, the annual reports claims that the cost of color film processing came down from 1970 to 1984. The comparison here is incomplete and wrong as the cost has actually increased. While previously, it costed 50 cents for a five-day service, it costed 100 cents for the same service in 1984. The argument doesn't provide information if this cost rise was due to deflation or reduced efficiency. From, the given information it is difficult to notice any decrease in the costs. Further, processing costs for color-films has no correlation with the cost of processing for Olympic Foods. Additionally, the claimed cost reduction for Color film processing happened between 1970 to 1984. However, it may not hold true in 21st century.

Because the given argument by Olympic Foods makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make a convincing case that cost of processing may come down by the time they celebrate their 25th birthday.