AWA Score: 5.5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 5/6
The essay is logically structured and follows a clear line of reasoning. The writer effectively analyzes the argument by breaking it down into its constituent parts and highlighting the assumptions and flaws in the logic. The essay flows well from one paragraph to the next, and the connections between ideas are clearly signaled.
Word structure: 6/6
The writer uses a range of sentence structures effectively to convey their ideas. The language is clear and concise, with no unnecessary repetition or wordiness. The writer also uses appropriate transitional words and phrases to connect their ideas and create a coherent argument.
Paragraph structure and formation: 6/6
The essay is well-organized into clear, coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph focuses on a single idea or argument, and the ideas are logically connected to form a cohesive argument. The paragraphs are well-developed, with appropriate evidence and analysis to support the writer's points.
Language and grammar: 6/6
The essay demonstrates a strong command of the English language, with accurate grammar, punctuation, and spelling throughout. The writer uses appropriate academic language and avoids colloquialisms or slang.
Vocabulary and word expression: 5.5/6
The writer uses a wide range of vocabulary effectively to convey their ideas. The language is precise and appropriate for the task at hand. There are a few minor errors in word choice or expression, but they do not detract significantly from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay.
Overall score: 5.5/6
The essay is well-written and effectively analyzes the argument presented in the prompt. The writer demonstrates a strong command of language and effectively uses evidence and analysis to support their points. The only area for improvement would be a few minor errors in vocabulary or word expression.
ChotuKatappa
Can someone please help me review my essay. My first attempt at AWA
=============== TOPIC ====================
The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen foods:
“Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to minimize costs and thus maximize profits.”
=============== ESSAY ====================
Quote:
According to above argument, Olympic Foods has claimed that they will be minimizing costs and maximizing profits by the time they celebrate their 25th birthday. The above argument by the organisation is based upon multiple assumptions and has a high probability to fail.
Firstly, the annual report claims that the cost of processing goes down over time for organisations. The argument does not present any quantitative data to back up this phenomenon. Further, even if the processing costs do come down over time, if the sales volume fall, profitability may still get reduced.
Secondly, the annual reports claims that the cost of color film processing came down from 1970 to 1984. The comparison here is incomplete and wrong as the cost has actually increased. While previously, it costed 50 cents for a five-day service, it costed 100 cents for the same service in 1984. The argument doesn't provide information if this cost rise was due to deflation or reduced efficiency. From, the given information it is difficult to notice any decrease in the costs. Further, processing costs for color-films has no correlation with the cost of processing for Olympic Foods. Additionally, the claimed cost reduction for Color film processing happened between 1970 to 1984. However, it may not hold true in 21st century.
Because the given argument by Olympic Foods makes several unwarranted assumptions, it fails to make a convincing case that cost of processing may come down by the time they celebrate their 25th birthday.