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Please help me evaluate writing task 2

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Current Student
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Joined: 03 Jan 2016
Posts: 104
Location: India
GMAT 1: 640 Q49 V29
GMAT 2: 760 Q51 V41
GPA: 3.2
Please help me evaluate writing task 2  [#permalink]

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New post 30 Apr 2017, 09:02
Que - Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Time - 30 mins
Word Count - 448

Essay -
A time comes in each one of our lives when we have to leave the houses of our parents and learn to be independent. One may need to move out of their parent's house for going to the university, for a new job, or for a variety of other reasons. Here the topic of discussion is whether I feel that it is better to move out as early as possible or stay for a longer time. In my view, this is a complex question, but generally it is better to move out as early as possible and I feel this way for the following reasons.

First, by moving out early one can start preparing for the real world sooner. During early stages of life, one lives in the sheltered enivronment of one's parent's house where many of one's needs are met without much hassle. However, in the real world, one has to take care of everything by oneself regardless of how difficult something is. For example, when I lived with my parents I never had to go for grocery shopping because everything that I might need was bought by my mother on her routine trips to the departmental store. However, as soon as I arrived at college, I was surprised to realize how quickly some of the items one uses on a regular basis ,such as toothpaste, are used up and one has to make trips to the store. Also, I had to manage not only the time out of busy schedule, but also the money out of my allowance to go for grocery shopping.

Second, the sooner the one moves out of one's parents house, the sooner the parents become more financially free. The parents usually have to go through much financial burden to raise a child. Many parents endure heavy expenses such as school fee, cost of books, clothing expense, etc for their children. But when a child moves out and becomes independent, they don't bear any expense towards their child, or the expense is substantially reduced. Then the parents can use the money for themselves by saving for retirement, going out for a vacation, etc. For instance, when I moved to the university, I also took a part-time job to meet the cost of my education. As my parents no longer had to pay for my education, they saved a considerable sum for their retirement. Now that they are in their retirement, they live comfortable lives and don't have to worry about the cost of their daily expenses.

In summary, I believe that one should move out as early as possible because it helps one grow and it is also good for one's parent's wallet.
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Please help me evaluate writing task 2   [#permalink] 30 Apr 2017, 09:02
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Please help me evaluate writing task 2

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