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please rate my essay

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Joined: 19 Sep 2018
Posts: 2
please rate my essay  [#permalink]

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New post 26 Sep 2018, 08:32
“People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar , since aspartame
Can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example , high levels of aspartame
Have been shown to trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety,
Or the sense of being full, furthermore , studies suggest that sugars , if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise , actually enhance the body’s ability to burn fat. Consequently , those
Who drink aspartame-sweetener juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benefit . Thus
It appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals.”

This argument is unconvincing because it lacks cogency for three reasons . In this argument the author
reporting us ,very confused statements regarding usage of sugar and aspartame . Argument begins with promoting the usage of sugar rather than aspartame, passing some hindrance of using aspartame. Many doctors and fitness trainers, suggests the usage of aspartame the artificial sweetener, as a substitution of sugar.

The first flaw, the argument claims that consuming aspartame helps in gaining weight rather than weight loss, high intake of aspartame leads to provokes the body to have craving for food by depleting
Of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. The sense of being full means, the body is
Not ready to intake the food , with out taking the putting weight gain is a flaw. Being intake of aspartame may produces other kinds of enzymes which causes the weight gain of the person . Not all the buyers, of aspartame not for weight loss, some of them used as a sugar substitute to maintain their
Insulin levels in their body.
The second flaw In the argument, is the author is claims that sugar and aspartame acts as fat burners.
After work out of the body like doing exercise, yoga , working out with instruments for 45 minutes , consuming sugar may help in burning fat . Sugar adds sweet taste to the foods , which carries lots of calories to the consumer, which cant be burned from the body . To burn this added calorie ,people do kinds of work outs . considering the levels of insulin levels in the body some consumers replace sugar with aspartame . consumption of over sugar may leads many health issues like abnormality in the blood flows , sugar levels etc .
Finally, there is no correlation of loosing the function of burning calories while intaking of aspartame or sugar. While is adding calories to the body and aspartame is calorie free substance, but they don’t act as
Calorie burners . Taking aspartame is not obstruction for dietaries , it is a sweetener which helps in not adding calories to the body this way it helps in working out . It acting one of the role loosing weight or maintaining body weight .
This argument is defective because , the author is missing some important clues to the argument beginning and conclusion . There are confused statements of using aspartame as a substitute of sugar.
The argument didn’t give us correct reasons not using the aspartame to the readers.
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Joined: 12 Feb 2015
Posts: 917
Re: please rate my essay  [#permalink]

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New post 20 Oct 2018, 09:50
Just in case if you are not aware there is an official product available on

GMAT Write® -

I hope you find this information useful. Do share your feedback. All the best!!
Manish :geek:

"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me"
Joined: 19 Oct 2018
Posts: 4
Location: United States
Concentration: Entrepreneurship, Finance
GPA: 3.97
Re: please rate my essay  [#permalink]

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New post 23 Oct 2018, 03:26
Looks decent. Need to improve more the structure of the thinking. But overall it looks fine. I think you can go ahead with this. But how much score are you targeting?
GMAT Club Bot
Re: please rate my essay   [#permalink] 23 Oct 2018, 03:26
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