This was my first shot at an essay for the AWA without really planning for it. It popped up on my first
MGMAT CAT so I just decided to give it a quick shot. Any advice or rough evaluation to score relation would be greatly appreciated. Below is the prompt and my answer.
Also, I would like to know if there is an appropriate way for delineating paragraphs on the actual test. Should I use indentation, extra line breaks, etc.?
The following appeared in the personal finance section of a popular magazine:
“The average price of an acre of land in the United States is now 50 times what it was in 1970, and nearly 200 times what it was in 1920. The nation’s population is projected to keep increasing, even as the amount of land remains constant. Therefore, people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate in order to ensure their financial security.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
The author argues that individuals living in the United States whom are approaching retirement will be required to invest heavily in real estate in order to avoid financial pitfalls based on the projections of population increase over time. This argument is inherently flawed in that it makes numerous assumptions regarding populations and its effect on real estate and personal finances.
First, the author assumes that the price of land will continue to increase at a comparable rate as time goes on as it has in the past. This assumption is vague and about a market that fluctuates regularly over time. Assuming that land prices continue to grow is similar to making the assumption that the stock market will grow linearly over time. However, both of these markets have been shown to fluctuate greatly from one time point to the next without predictable linear growth. The authors argument here could be strengthened by demonstrating a definite steady progression of land prices increasing over time rather than just two time points. The two time points are not sufficient to provide a prediction for the future or discredit the possibility of a potential drop in land prices as certain people begin to retire.
Second, The author assumes that just because the population is projected to increase that it definitely will increase. A statement like this relies heavily on statistical and population data over time and with no display provided by the author we have no confidence in this statement. Recently data has begun to show that population growth in the United States in slowing down in rate. This data being presented would in fact show that this projection is not true and cannot be blindly trusted. This point could be strengthened by presenting various data sources indicating that population is increasing linearly over time up until now and shows no sign of recent decrease in growth rate.
Lastly, the assumption that heavy investment in real estate alone will be a keystone of financial security for those approaching retirement. An assumption such as this is flawed, inferring that in order to have financial security in retirement you are required to have a heavy investment portfolio in real estate. There are numerous instances of individuals that have obtained financial security through other means excluding any real estate investment or having real estate investment as a small portion of their investment portfolio approaching retirement. The authors argument could be strengthened here by displaying appropriate data showing how much of an effect having heavy investment in real estate correlates to financial security in retirement.
In conclusion, the author presents an argument about a primary method for obtaining financial security through real estate investment that is inherently lacking in evidence to provide sufficient information needed to confirm assumptions presented. More data and concrete facts, ranging from population rate statistics to retirement portfolio success', are required to strengthen this argument.