Recommendation Letter - Recommender's comments seem abrupt?

Question

My recommender had to answer one of the questions regarding Weaknesses (Like identify 3 or so) in a very different way....he basically made a statement that he finds these questions to be quite a moot point and that he'd rather focus on the strengths and build on those because that is how he perceives people...he did identify how I accepted feedback etc but didn't really list out 3 weaknesses.....It is a little too radical but it is also his honest opinion on the question....anyone else deal with a situation like this?

Should I reach out to him and persuade him to follow suit and somewhat bring up some weaknesses that I have given him some pointers on already? Recommendations are a lot more work and stressful than Essays

thanks for your help!

str1der · Answer

While you cannot help what the recommender writes, as you are not supposed to look at what he submits, I believe the way he is answering the question above won't help your case in any way. It could additionally reflect poorly on you in the adcom's eyes as well, as if you read blogs by, for example, Dee leopold (HBS) she asks that you choose the recommender whom you think can answer the question on improvement/weakness rather than strength.

Everyone has flaws, how big or small they are is a separate discussion. Accepting feedback - that typically is another question in the recommendation by itself.

Forcing him to write three weaknesses won't help you as well, as if he honestly believes there are none in his opinion, the answer will come across as forced and not honest. However, you should tell him that questions need to be answered directly i.e. if they ask for a weakness or a strength, you need to specify those points. There could be 2 genuine weaknesses (eg: needs to improve communication, should be more mature about accepting others viewpoints) and the third could still be preachy (eg: needs to go to B school to gain some leadership experience). But to say there are no weaknesses, will raise a red flag. Search for sample recommendation letters online and maybe send those his way as samples?

Hope this helps.

RyanCJW · Answer

I think it depends on how close you are with your recommender. If you don't think he would take it personally, just let him know that every answer is used to evaluate the candidate and the questions need to be properly addressed. Is he sending you the essay before submitting it? He may think that you would take it personally. I'd let him know that you wouldn't take any constructive criticism personally or even pass on him sending it to you before submitting it so that he feels comfortable being candid with the adcom.

In terms of it adversely affecting you, I don't know that the adcom will blame you for choosing a recommender who cannot follow directions. Most of the time people do not get to see their recommendation letters before they're submitted, so there probably are plenty of cases where the recommender goes off on a tangent/answers a question completely different from the one that is asked and I'm sure that the adcom knows how to deal with it.

I'd probably reach out to him and see if he can come up with a more appropriate response, but if he finds it difficult to identify weaknesses in people, I wouldn't see it as the end of the world. You probably have more than one recommendation due, so hopefully those other recommenders can point out some flaws.

dawizard · Answer

Thanks guys for your response.

He just mentioned it to me so on his take there so I was a bit apprehensive and quite concerned really. He did get back to me saying he had double thoughts about it and will revise that....so I think problem has been resolved :D

Recommendation Letter - Recommender's comments seem abrupt?

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