That his presentation on compound interest initiatives was criticized

Question

That his presentation on compound interest initiatives was criticized harshly by the members of the bank’s board who examined his proposal with relative indifference came as a shock to the low-level executive.

(A) That his presentation on compound interest initiatives was criticized harshly by the members of the bank’s board who examined his proposal with relative indifference came as a shock to the low-level executive.

(B) The low-level executive was shocked that his presented proposal on compound interest initiatives was criticized harshly by the members of the bank’s board who examined it relatively indifferently.

(C) The fact that his presentation on compound interest initiations was criticized harshly by the members of the bank’s board, which had examined it with relative indifference, came as a shock to the low-level executive.

(D) Shocked that his presentation on compound interest initiatives was criticized harshly, the members of the bank’s board examined the proposal by the low-level executive with relative indifference.

(E) Examining it with relative indifference, the bank’s board examined the proposal on compound interest initiatives by the low-level executive with harsh criticism, shocking him.

I answered B. Can you explain why A is right ?

Hatakekakashi · Answer

hi,

Is there an official explanation?? What is the exact source of the question?

hazelnut  ,  Vyshak  help

Regards,
HK

arabella · Answer

Hi,

This is the official explanation-

There is nothing incorrect with the existing sentence in (A). Don’t confuse complex or unusual sentence structure with grammatical error. “That” is correctly used. Choice (C) may have been tempting, but it’s less concise and contains several drawn-out clauses. Choice (D) contains a modification error. As written, it implies the “board” was “shocked” but it’s the “low-level executive” who is shocked. (B) and (E) are wordy and awkward. In (B), there should also be a comma before the word “who” since it creates a new clause. In (E), it is also unclear what “it” refers to. We cannot introduce a pronoun without a clear, logical antecedent. The correct answer is (A).

I found this question here  https://gmatrockstar.com/2015/02/01/sentence-fragments-and-run-ons-pacing-drill/

jkpi003688 · Answer

I don't understand why A is the credited answer since the pronoun "his" doesn't have clear reference.

arabella · Answer

Hi ! 
Can any of the experts please tell why option A is correct ? To me it just sounds very awkward.

Hatakekakashi · Answer

1) Is this a standard question?
2) Kindly explain

Hatakekakashi · Answer

I've requested an expert reply, let's hope that this doubt gets cleared.

poul_249 · Answer

I am just trying to understand if it is correct to refer bank's board as "who". Could someone please clarify?

DmitryFarber · Answer

Like most "Other"-sourced questions, this probably isn't up to GMAT standards, but A is certainly the best choice here. It's the only one with no glaring errors of grammar or meaning.

Let's look at the basic core of the sentence:

That his presentation was criticized came as a shock to the executive.

Most of us would say this more directly: "The executive was shocked that his presentation was criticized." However, the form used here is valid. We can say "That a senator whose main source of funding is an industry lobbying group consistently votes in favor of that group's interests should come as a surprise to nobody."

What about "his"? There's no problem here. There's only one singular person here, so it's clear that "his" refers to the low-level executive. There is certainly no rule preventing the pronoun from coming before the antecedent.

What else? "Who examined" modifies "members." The proposal was examined by members of the bank's board.

So could we have said this all more efficiently? Sure. But presumably the writer was trying to make an instructional point about interpreting lengthy and ungainly sentences. This sentence isn't beautiful, but it works.

Mpuneet · Answer

A is the correct choice, it is error free and more concise than C, which is the only other error free choice. B is missing a comma after who. It needs it there because a new clause begins. E lacks a clear antecedent for “it”. D has a modifier error, it implies that the board was shocked, not the executive.

harshdev · Answer

I dont find anything wrong in D 
D means that the Board was shocked.

It does make sense as the Governing body or Examining body can be shocked when they see that something that is appreciable is being harshly criticized.

Or there may be other reasons for the Examining body , The Board to be shocked that the work of low level executive is harshly criticized. The question does give clue why the board should not be shocked.

Posted from my mobile device

BOB1993 · Answer

The low-level executive was shocked that his presented proposal on compound interest initiatives was criticized harshly by the members of the bank’s board who examined it relatively indifferently.

I am still trying to understand the reason for usage of comma after who in option B , Veritas  karishma

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That his presentation on compound interest initiatives was criticized

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That his presentation on compound interest initiatives was criticized

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