AWA Score: 4.5 - 5 out of 6
Coherence and connectivity: 4.5
The essay generally maintains a coherent structure and logical flow, but there are some instances of awkward phrasing and transitions between ideas. Some sentences could be better connected for improved readability.
Word structure: 5
The essay demonstrates a solid command of language and vocabulary. There are some minor grammatical issues, but the overall word structure is effective.
Paragraph structure and formation: 4.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but some of the paragraph transitions are not as smooth as they could be. It would benefit from more seamless transitions and perhaps further subdivision into smaller paragraphs to improve clarity.
Language and Grammar: 4.5
While the essay generally employs correct grammar and language, there are instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical errors, such as missing articles and prepositions. These issues slightly affect the overall fluency of the essay.
Vocabulary and word expression: 4.5
The vocabulary and word expression used in the essay are generally appropriate. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Overall, the essay provides a reasonably coherent and structured response to the argument but could benefit from smoother paragraph transitions, improved language and grammar usage, and more varied vocabulary. The evaluation of the argument's reasoning and evidence is well done, providing a clear analysis of the weaknesses in the original argument.
Shivanibh25 wrote:
Please rate my AWA essay. Any feedback will be highly appreciated.
The following appeared as part of a column in a popular entertainment magazine:
“The producers of the forthcoming movie 3003 will be most likely to maximize their profits if they are willing to pay Robin Good several million dollars to star in it—even though that amount is far more than any other person involved with the movie will make. After all, Robin has in the past been paid a similar amount to work in several films that were very financially successful.”
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counter examples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.
Your Answer:
The argument is based on an irrelevant and weak fact which makes it totally unsound. The author has claimed that by taking Robin Good on board for their next venture 3003 and paying him enormous amount, their profits will be maximized. Author's claim is based on only one fact, which is, he was paid similar amount to work in his earlier films that were successfull financially, therefore, he should be taken on board for the movie 3003 as well as paid several million dollars, which is far more than any other person involved with will make, so that the movie achieve financial success. This claim suffers from many defects and in absence of any more solid evidence, it remains vulnerable.
Firstly, as stated above, the argument is based on only one fact that as Robin Good had taken massive amount for featuring in his earlier movies and those movies has proven to be financially successfull, therefore, the producers should take him on board and pay him an exorbitant amount, which is absolutely baseless. While concluding this statement, the author has ignored many reaons that needs to considered before making this kind of decision. For instance, the budget of the movie, amount that will be paid to other people, in how many region the movie will be premiered. If the author has cited other evidence in support of his claim then it could be considerably strenthened.
Secondly, there are many other reasons due to which this suggestion needs to be reconsidered. For instance, it could be the case that all the ventures talked about in the arguemnt were released many years ago and since then, he has not been on board in any of the movies. The other factor being the media controvery, which is one of the factors which producers takes into account while selecting the actors and actresses for their movies, as this is the most critical factor which could affect the success of the movie.
Thirdly, there many other renowned actors which have delivered a successfull movies in the past and they can be starred in the upcoming venture in far less than the price on which Robin Good can be taken on board. Another factor that needs to be considered is the genre of the movie. Maybe, till now all the movies delivered by Robin Good are of Comdedy, Romantic or maybe rom-com genre and movie 3003 will be a horror or an action movie. If that being the case, then the actor suggested by the author will not be a great fit.
In summary, the arguments lacks substantive evidence, which if would have been presented by the author, could help to make a wise decision. However, there was not enough premises provided by the author, which makes it a wishfull suggestion rather than a more sound decision to be proceeded with and therefore, this recommendation should be reconsidered and all other plausible rations and factors should be taken into consideration.