The Senate approved immigration legislation that would grant permanent residency to millions of aliens currently residing here and if employers hired illegal aliens they would be penalized.
Analysis: The Senate (Sub) approved (Verb) immigration legislation
{that would grant permanent residency to millions of aliens currently residing here} – Modifier, Modifying "immigration legislation"
and if employers hired illegal aliens they would be penalized. (Construction is not Parallel)
Error: Parallelism error - The Senate approved ..and if employers hired..
if employers hired illegal aliens they would be penalized – Ambiguous reference – Pronoun They refer to Aliens ?? or Employers ??
(A) if employers hired illegal aliens they would be penalized -
Incorrect(B) hiring illegal aliens would be a penalty for employers-
IncorrectThe Senate approved ..and hiring illegal aliens.. – Not Parallel(C) penalize employers who hire illegal aliens –
CorrectThe Senate (Sub) approved (V) immigration legislation and penalize (V) employers who hire illegal aliens(D) penalizing employers hiring illegal aliens –
Incorrect The Senate approved ..and penalizing (not a verb) employers hiring illegal aliens: Not Parallel(E) employers to be penalized for hiring illegal aliens–
IncorrectThe Senate approved ..and employers to be penalized: Not Parallel