Hey, friends!
I received a lovely status update from the GSB admission committee that I felt compelled to share. Here's hoping that Stanford's sentiments - sincere and pithy - alleviate stress as effectively for you as they did for me.
Dear applicant,
We here in Palo Alto know that the MBA application process is rife with anxiety. In the last several months you worked diligently to compile an application that represents your accomplishments and goals, and the last several years navigating what has proven an unusually turbulent job market. Dates were postponed, drinks turned down and treadmills neglected for the sake of truly stellar essays and, yes, rather boring forms. It takes an abundance of energy and courage to apply to graduate programs, and you should therefore be proud of yourself. Really.
We also know that rumors thrive when information is scarce, rumors that needlessly agitate, endlessly worry. In the name of restful sleep, we'd like to set the record straight and put you at ease.
1. Your application will be thoroughly reviewed. We promise.
2. Your GMAT score is not the only element we consider.
3. Our team does not write and stage a play based on the applications of those people with the lowest GMAT scores. That happened only once, and while it was super hilarious and cathartic, we don't do that anymore. (Heehee. I'm remembering some of the funnier bits now. "Phi Beta KAPLAN!" So good.)
4. We do not rank applicants according to physical appearance. How would we even access hidden images after the implementation of that stupid privacy law? Stupid, stupid privacy law? Your accolades speak for themselves.
5. What do you look like?
6. JK! We could get in trouble if we asked you to send a pic. But if you sent one on your own free will...
7. Interview invitations are not sent out according to last name or geographic region because one year someone got the S names and threw a huge fit.
8. Stop freaking out about whether you doubled-spaced your essay. Give our system some credit, okay? Do you honestly think we'd reject a Rhodes Scholar with three patents and a successful business plan to save all babies everywhere because she didn't know how to read directions and use Microsoft Word?
8.5. READ DIRECTIONS AND LEARN HOW TO USE MICROSOFT WORD, GENIUS LADY. YOUR FRIENDS HATE YOU AND SO DO WE. Great job with the babies, though. You're probably getting accepted.
9. The thing that happened with that guy on Saturday isn't a huge deal. Yes, it happened twice, but he seems to like you a lot and will probably forget the whole thing.
10. Stanford's sole purpose is not to host better costume parties than does Wharton. We take our academic curriculum very seriously.
11. Class is not cancelled if it rains, but people do, like, freak out and say, "What's up with this rain!?" until the storm subsides. It's so annoying.
12. HE WANTS TO HANG OUT AGAIN. Stop whining to your friend about how you shouldn't have brought him back to your apartment in the first place. You had fun. He had fun. Move forward.
13. You were right: Those fields in the application that make you transcribe your resume really are worthless. If we didn't create hurdles, everyone would apply.
14. Ninety percent of the posts on that gmatclub site are BS. Try to ignore them. In fact, try to ignore the entire site. Block it, have your friend protect said block with a password that only he knows, and then end that friendship so that he'll never have a chance to reveal the password to you. (Accuse him of something nasty but not totally damning. IDK. Have fun with it!)
15. HBS supports fracking. In fact, it's one giant fracking site.
16. You're great. You're going to be fine.
17 Feb 2013, 10:09
