Isn't there a problem with E?. Doesn't it miss a semicolon? Two independent clauses should be separated by a semicolon and not a comma?

A. Tense error. Incorrect/misplaced modifier
B. Incorrect modifier
C. Wrong meaning. (She included 'the call' while the draft was adopted)
D. Wrong meaning. ( they adopted the call not the draft itself)

Hence E

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Technically speaking, there's never a problem with the OA, right?

The first clause in the sentence isn't independent because of the "when." Take a simple example: "Tim ate pancakes." Perfectly honorable independent clause. But "When Tim ate pancakes," is not independent - you can probably feel that the construction is incomplete, that the writer is withholding something important. The reason is that the "when" communicates that another action is happening at the same time, and we need that action in order to have a complete sentence. "When Tim ate pancakes, his soul left his body and smiled upon him from heaven." There's no semicolon here, and we don't need one, because we have one dependent clause beginning with "when" and one independent clause beginning with "his soul."

The takeaway: if a clause begins with a word like "when" or "although" that clause is not going to be independent. (If you're into terminology, those words are called "subordinating conjunctions." Also, "subordinating conjunctions" might make an excellent name for a rock band. Or maybe a polka band?)

I hope that helps!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MhuJbOcDOk&list=PL0LGZMx8pP21Jx8Er_L5V-HfbPn9DKY7M&index=15

49:19

In answer choice (A), what is the subject of of verb "was"

It looks like a fragment. I am not sure though.

BelalHossain046

Posted from my mobile device
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I wouldn't expend a lot of mental energy trying to determine whether (A) is a fragment, so long as you can see that the modification in this option is illogical. Typically, when we begin a sentence with an "-ing" modifier, the subject of the main clause will follow immediately after. For example:

Attempting to stay warm during his misguided camping trip, Tim snuggled close to the bear that had wandered into his tent.

We can say that "attempting to stay warm" is describing "Tim," or we can sat that "attempting to stay warm" is describing Tim's action. The important thing is that "Tim" comes right after the modifier to make the sentence's meaning clear.

In (A), we get: "When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included."

Because it's Elizabeth Cody Stanton who did the drafting, we want her name to immediately follow the "-ing" phrase. It's confusing to follow the "-ing" phrase with another modifier ("included") since it's not clear, at first, what either "drafting" or "included" is describing.

So while (A) isn't technically a fragment, it's illogical and confusing, and this is reason enough to eliminate it.

I hope that helps!
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[quote="huoguo"]When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.


(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote.

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it .

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention.

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.
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(A) The meaning of the sentence says when drafting x she included y but it should while drafting x she included y.
(B) Dangling modifier. The structure does not present the requirement of modifier as such.
(C) had been calls for double past and means that it happened even before drafting.
(D) The first comma does not serve the purpose it gives feel that after the first comma we have nonessential modifier.
(E) Correct (Clear meaning, no modifier needed and no double past)
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When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Conventions in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for female enfranchisement.

The first clause "When....in1848" is a relative clause that can only modify nouns. Hence, what follows the relative clause must be a noun or something else (Such as a gerund phrase or a pronoun) that can take the place of a noun. Since the word that immediately follows the relative clause is not a noun in (A) or (C), we can eliminate (A) and (C).

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote. - the ''that...wrote'' clause illogically modifies ''1848''.

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton’s draft of the Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention. - (D) introduces the following structure: ''A call for female enfranchisement,...., that was adopted....'' we do not have a full clause here.

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement. - has no error. Hence, (E) is the right answer choice.

Dear GMATGuruNY MartyTargetTestPrep IanStewart VeritasPrepHailey AjiteshArun DmitryFarber GMATNinja GMATRockstar,

Why is PAST PERFECT in choice C. wrong?

When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been included in it.

Is there a rule that when WHEN is used, PAST PERFECT cannot be used?

IMHO, the call should logically be included in the draft BEFORE the draft was adopted.

Why is this thinking wrong?
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C uses a passive construction that makes it worse than the right answer, independent of verb tense. But compare these two sentences:

When Stanton drafted the Declaration, she worked as a trial lawyer.
When Stanton drafted the Declaration, she had worked as a trial lawyer.

They're both grammatically correct, but they don't mean the same thing. If you can see why they have a different meaning, you'll see why past perfect is the wrong choice for the sentence discussed in this thread.
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There is no such rule.

Consider the following example:

When we arrived, the bride and groom had already said their vows.

Makes complete sense.


The problem is that including something is not always discrete action, and, in this case "included" seems to refer to something ongoing.

Consider the following:

The troupe of actors included five men and five women.

In that sentence, "included" conveys that something was going on continuously.

Now here's another version:

The troupe of actors had included five men and five women.

In that sentence, "had included" conveys that something had been going on continuously but ceased to occur. The troupe no longer included five men and five women.

Similarly, choice (E) conveys that when the Declaration was adopted, a call for female enfranchisement had been included but was no longer included in it, a somewhat illogical meaning.

Perhaps the biggest takeaway here is to look for issues in logic rather than merely wonder what "the rule" is.
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Just to clear it out, does the Subject has to be a Proper Noun or a Noun Phrase and not a pronoun?

Dear MartyTargetTestPrep GMATGuruNY DmitryFarber,

If, on the other hand, choice C. were:

When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women’s Rights Convention in 1848, SHE had included a call for female enfranchisement in it.

Then, the above would be correct, right?
Elizabeth HAD ACTIVELY INCLUDED a call BEFORE the draft was adopted.
By the time the draft was adopted, she had finished drafting and hence no longer wrote / edited / or included any thing in the draft.

Is my understanding correct?
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I'm not sure if this answers your question, but...

No, the subject does not have to be a proper noun or noun phrase. In fact, the correct answer choice (E) has a pronoun ("she") as the subject.


Your example starts with, "When the Declaration of Sentiments was adopted..."

• We expect the ensuing action to be something that occurred at the same time that the Declaration was adopted.
• Instead, we get a past perfect verb ("had included"), indicating an action that occurred BEFORE the Declaration was adopted.
• So the opening modifier ("When...") and the main verb ("had included") don't really jive in this particular case.

Choice (E) avoids that problem. The sentence starts with, "When Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments..."

• We expect the ensuing action to be something that occurred at the same time that Stanton drafted the Declaration.
• And that's exactly what we get: when drafting the Declaration, Stanton INCLUDED in it a call for female enfranchisement.

In (E) the opening modifier ("When...") and the main verb ("included") make sense together.
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