Ding!
Good news is I don't have to go through the "OMG, is there something wrong with my essays. Should I revamp everything phase?!" for two reasons:
1) Sloan's questions, especially the cover letter, don't really overlap with other schools (except Stanford).
2) The essays I churned out after Sloan were a lot better.
I'm still upbeat and optimistic! Just feel bad for all the Sloanie current students/alumni friends who were all supporting me and helping me get in. I felt like I let them down a bit. Regardless, moving on.