https://gmatclub.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/2015-06-16_19-29-30-150x150.png By Adam Hoff, Amerasia Consulting Group This is a post I write basically every year because it comes from what I'm seeing each round, every day, on basically every application. That drum beat is really rigid, hard-to-read Why School X sections on essays. I give the same note to every single client so now I'm giving it to everybody: the simplest and most important thing you can do to improve your Why School X portion of career goals essay is to personalize any and all content. This is a great way to avoid writing something off-putting, as well as a quick and easy method for making your essays warmer, more personal, and easier to connect with. So, what do I mean by "personalizing" this part of the app? Simple: make anything you write about the school specific to you, your experience, your desires, or what you require from a program. Never just state absolutes, generalities, or even known truths and facts - always make them personally-held viewpoints. Examples are the best way to understand this (after the jump): Example #1 GOOD - "I am seeking an intense MBA experience, which is why INSEAD is my top choice." BAD - "INSEAD is one of the most intense MBA programs in the world." WHY - The first sentence is a statement about what you want (an intense experience), which is used as justification for pursuing the school. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong in your assessment, so long as you believe it and can then base a decision on that belief. Whereas in the second sentence, you are simply stating a fact. There are multiple problems with this: A) you might be wrong, B) even if you are right it might sound lecturing (which can irritate a reader who is far more of an expert on the subject than you are), or C) even if you are right and the reader is not mildly irritated, you still miss a chance to express something about you. Anything in any essay that doesn't tell the reader more about you, your world, and what you want is wasted space. Example #2 Good - "One thing that drew me to Duke right away was the small class size, which has always been the ideal setting for me to grow and learn." BAD - "Small class sizes are the best way to learn, which is why I love Duke." WHY - This one has a wrinkle, which is that the "bad" sentence sort of seems to personalize the statement with the "why I love Duke" part. The problem is that the revelation is still not based on a personal belief, but rather a statement of fact. Indeed, this statement of fact is even more egregious than the INSEAD statement above because it's offering up as concrete fact something that is highly debatable. Maybe large classes are the best way to learn. Maybe it's online. Maybe it's one-on-one. Who are you to say? Who am I to say? None of us are experts in the sphere of ideal learning models, so this just sounds completely arrogant. Whereas in the "good" example, we see that it's simply a personal preference that is the basis for further interest in Duke. I could go on and on and write 10 examples, but two is probably enough. The main thing is to read every single sentence you write about a program and make sure that it's always personal - told from your perspective, your opinion, your beliefs, and your desires. If it dissolves into "brochure writing" - just statements of fact, no matter how benign or flattering to the school - there is zero upside and plenty of downside. It's a small thing, but we see it crop up in probably 90% of the essays we read, so it's obviously a fairly widespread problem. And while it may not be the entire difference between being admitted or denied, it can definitely be the difference between getting a good or a bad read of your file. And in our experience, *that* is often the difference between being admitted or denied. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you are interested in making sure your essays are personalized (as well as everything else they need to be), hit us up at mba@amerasiaconsulting.com .

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Leading, and Not Lagging, at the INSEAD Women in Business Conference

Many subjects were discussed at the second annual INSEAD Women in Business (IWiB) conference, from diversity and gender balance to retention and engagement in the workplace. Ilian Mihov, INSEAD’s Dean, opened the conference. He spoke on INSEAD’s efforts to... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You

I’m a big fan of Steve Martin. I have fond childhood memories of my parents allowing me to stay up late on Saturdays to watch him on Saturday Night Live or sneaking out of the bedroom to see one... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: The most important lesson I learned at INSEAD

Talking to alumni before starting INSEAD, I was told that this year would be very intense. “The content of a full MBA programme is squeezed in ten months, but the intensity is not limited to the academic level”, they said.... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: INSEAD and I go back a long way. Kind of?

I first heard about INSEAD when I interned at Standard Chartered Bank back in 2011. There was a lady who worked on my level from INSEAD ’08. At that time, I had never come across the school before and I... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: August 2017: The Remote Internship

The hiatus from the Jakarta Roundtable Meeting with US 44th President Barack Obama through Obama Foundation had worn out. The next real question is, how do I move forward? And often time I look so much to the future... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Embarking on my MBA Journey

Dear All, In only a few days I will be boarding a plane in Zurich to spend the next 6 months away from home – I am an 18D’ starting in Singapore! The change couldn’t be any bigger. From cold,... Continue Reading →

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20 Dec 2017, 19:00

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Bittersweet Symphony

P2 is almost over. The light at the end of the tunnel, basically the long holidays, are finally in sight. This period’s exams are a bit of a nightmare with no breaks for studying. You finish classes one day and... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: September 2017: Three Different Worlds

I find it very hard to believe as soon as September unfolds, we are already entering the 9th month of the 12 months of the brief experience. This month was very unique and I had mixed feelings. The experience was... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: What do a 3,000 mile Atlantic row and an INSEAD MBA have in common?

This is the question I ask myself as, in my last week in my current role as Brand Manager for Diageo-owned Talisker Whisky in Europe, I have the unique experience of managing the start-line of the Talisker Whisky Atlantic Challenge,... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Climbing Another Himalaya

It’s been 3 days since I moved to Fontainebleau. As someone who grew up in a tropical country all my life, winter is something new to me. Even though here in Fontainebleau the temperature hasn’t reached below zero (today the... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: October 2017: The Obama Foundation Summit… and the Future

The end of October 2017 was the highlight of my journey this year. I was invited to the Obama Foundation Summit, worked with a team of the Summit to feature a profile video of my past work through the OTP... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Pre-MBA Dilemmas We Choose to Forget

My wife and I are just a few weeks away from the start of our program in Singapore. We have now recounted more times than we can recall how and why we decided to take the MBA plunge, and each... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: INSEAD : A view from outside in

All of us who decide to invest a considerable amount of time and money to pursue an MBA, first spend a lot of time choosing the best B-school to suit our needs. I did the same. I spoke to more... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Reflections: an Aussie perspective on the road to Fontainebleau

It’s been a little over 2 months since I received the +33 call that changed the direction of my life. Whilst there has been a flurry of mixed emotions ranging from excitement and anticipation to apprehension and homesickness, the realization... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: Re-Writing My Story

I first learnt about INSEAD when I was doing my research for MBA programs back in 2011 while working at Unilever Pakistan. As someone who has lived in 8 cities across 4 countries in the span of my lifetime the... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: I start my journey with INSEAD

From the Point of the ignition to the final drive, The Point of journey is not to arrive. When I decided to do my MBA, with a bit of Google search and a few phone calls, I knew that INSEAD was... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: A 2500 Mile Journey from Shanghai to Singapore

On a cloudy afternoon at the end of September, I was sitting in the Shell Shanghai office busy with loads of emails and all of sudden an INSEAD email jumped into my eyes. Opening the email with a presentiment, I... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: We parted ways

P2 has ended and after a week of gallivanting across cold and foggy Belgium during this winter break, I am back home in my small town Germany downtown apartment. One of the best investments I had made since I moved... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: December break reflections and the Sehnsucht for P1/P2

When you are in the process of learning a new language, some words you encounter actually define a concept or pinpoint feelings very specific to a certain culture or lived experience. The German word Sehnsucht is to me one of... Continue Reading →

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FROM Insead Admissions Blog: The key academic differences between the first two periods at INSEAD

My first two periods at INSEAD are over. After tons of study group work, final exams and hours of classes, it’s time to share with you the key differences between these two periods, especially on the academic front. As INSEAD’s... Continue Reading →